VIC Post mediation going downhill fast. Advice for dad wanting to see child

[Anon_ymous]

I'm back again following my partner attending mediation.
I can copy paste the story so far if need be from my previous posts.

Dad requested shuttle mediation and mum declined saying she wouldn't attend unless he went in the room with her just then two.
He agreed.
He went in very prepared, covered all important short term points and mum requested a reintroduction at a public place with her there and she would wait around for them to spend an hour together.
Following mediation he receives a text requesting they meet for coffee to talk more.
He let her know he couldn't before the date set.
No response.
Now today I have been an email advising she feels it is I'm the childs best interest not to spend time with the father tomorrow given his attitude toward her.
What in the actual???
What do we do?
Child is 9. Mum continues to state how excited he will be and how much he wants to see his dad.
This is devastating but not surprising

 

[sammy01]

apply to court. That is all you can do.

Write a very short email.
Dear ex. IF this weekend doesn't suit, please let me know when suits you. Many thanks.

Then do not respond to anything... NOTHING.

 

[Anon_ymous]

apply to court. That is all you can do.

Write a very short email.
Dear ex. IF this weekend doesn't suit, please let me know when suits you. Many thanks.

Then do not respond to anything... NOTHING.

They had two weekends set and a school pick up over the next two weeks.

Lawyer advised she feels it's in his best emotional wellbeing not to spend time with the father given his alleged attitude toward the mother. That being that he doesn't wish to spend time with the mother.

The lawyer advised she wishes all communication via her lawyer.

Does he go back to the mediator?
How do we go about court and what will be the quickest way to have some time spent with his son. We've been asking for three years, tried to navigate it with her then tried mediation. Now it's not looking like that will work

 

[Rod]

3 years and not yet in court - means either continue to tolerate controlling behaviour, or get a certificate saying mediation is not working and start court proceedings.

I can't see the mother willingly giving up control. The only way to get a change is through the courts.

 

[Anon_ymous]

Ho

3 years and not yet in court - means either continue to tolerate controlling behaviour, or get a certificate saying mediation is not working and start court proceedings.

I can't see the mother willingly giving up control. The only way to get a change is through the courts.

Does my partner go back to the mediator and request the 60i? Or will they do another mediation prior?

How do we go about court, I need some direction with this.

 

[Rod]

What general area in Vic are you located?

 

[Anon_ymous]

What general area in Vic are you located?

Western region, would be brimbank Melton.
We will have to do this ourselves and use legal advise sparingly where absolutely necessary so I'm going to have to get informed about what we need to be doing.

 

[sammy01]

go to bunnings, in isle 3 there are bags of concrete. add two tea spoons to his morning coffee so he can toughen up.. Sorry to be blunt.
Go and have a coffee with her. 3 reasons why.
1. it is a faster way of getting to see the kid than court.
2. If it winds up in court he can show he jumped over every hurdle she put between him and his kid because he is so desperate to see the kid.
3. The kid.. do it for the kid.

Plan B learn to self represent. Ok so you got a letter from a solicitor. Write back. Be nice, get advice here. But by writing back yourselves it will cost you nothing and cost her $$$ that might make her change her mind.

Plan C. - cal the mediatiors get the certificate and look up info on how to apply to court and self represent.

But go to bunnings first. Because all of my options are tough and if the ex things he doesn't have the conviction to see it through he will wind up as one of those poor souls that go through all of this only for the ex to ignore the court orders anyways and he will be too soft to do anything about it.

 

[Anon_ymous]

go to bunnings, in isle 3 there are bags of concrete. add two tea spoons to his morning coffee so he can toughen up.. Sorry to be blunt.
Go and have a coffee with her. 3 reasons why.
1. it is a faster way of getting to see the kid than court.
2. If it winds up in court he can show he jumped over every hurdle she put between him and his kid because he is so desperate to see the kid.
3. The kid.. do it for the kid.

Plan B learn to self represent. Ok so you got a letter from a solicitor. Write back. Be nice, get advice here. But by writing back yourselves it will cost you nothing and cost her $$$ that might make her change her mind.

Plan C. - cal the mediatiors get the certificate and look up info on how to apply to court and self represent.

But go to bunnings first. Because all of my options are tough and if the ex things he doesn't have the conviction to see it through he will wind up as one of those poor souls that go through all of this only for the ex to ignore the court orders anyways and he will be too soft to do anything about it.

Good advice.
He's already tried though.
He let her know he only didnt have time for a catch up when she asked but asked her if she wanted to meet to chat.
No response.
We responded to the lawyer clarifying their allegations, very polite and asked them what the proposed direction is moving forward.
I think court is going to be unavoidable here.
At mediation he said mum was really not worried about anything.
Was really eager for him to see his kid.
Day before the visit we get the lawyers letter.
This is the regular patter. We were just hoping mediation might actually work.

 

[Rod]

Other side of Melbourne from me.

I agree with @sammy01.

Your partner has 2 basic options.

Accept the fact the ex is controlling and put up with whatever access she allows, or fight in court.

If you choose the court option, be prepared to be in court on and off for the next couple of years. As Sammy says this will likely be tough and hard, but doable. DIY means you both need to do a lot of reading, particularly the family court website. There will be lots of stuff you don't understand at first, but keep at it. Get legal advice when needed at crucial stages if you feel you need it.

Accept it will be hard, both emotionally and intellectually, and just do it, one step at a time so you don't feel overwhelmed.

I'd be asking for a certificate now, though the mediator may insist on one more attempt as you are now saying you've tried and it is not working.

So work on the certificate first. After that you have 12 months to start a court proceeding before the expiry of the certificate.