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NSW Relocating with Child if Father is Violent?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by Karen Jones, 30 December 2014.

  1. Karen Jones

    Karen Jones Member

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    I am currently living in NSW, with my 2 year old. I have always been primary carer (biological father only met my son and began a relationship with him a few months ago) and after attempting to form a relationship with the biological father myself it has become clear that things will not work out between us. He is verbally abusive to both myself and my son, gets angry at him and throws things at us out of anger ( domestic violence). He has never had my son in his care for more than a few overnight visits (with myself present). I have no family here, as they all live in Victoria, and at the moment I'm struggling emotionally and financially being so far from them. There are no job or education prospects here nor are there any support networks (family/friends) here for me. Biological father has never paid child support and has only contributed to our son by buying him a few gifts every now and again over the last few months that he has known him.

    My mother, of whom my son is very close with, lives in Victoria and has expressed that we would be able to live with her and that she would be able to help support us when needed. Biological father will not allow me to relocate and has violent bursts at the mention of the idea. I do not feel comfortable speaking to him about it further and would like to know if there is any way under family law that I can relocate without him forcing us to return?
    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. CathL

    CathL Well-Known Member

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  3. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    It is best for you if you try and reach an agreement about this with your ex before you unilaterally relocate. Your child has a right to know, spend time and communicate with his father on a regular basis (even if he is violent), and relocating to a new state intervenes with that right. Mediation is a good way to discuss this matter under supervised conditions that remain child-focused. Unfortunately, there is no way you can relocate without the father being subsequently able to pursue a relocation order for the return of the child.
     
  4. Beverley Greening

    Beverley Greening Active Member

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    You need to keep a diary and record days, times, and type of abuse by the ex and where they took place against you and your child. You could speak to the police about the advisability of taking out and AVO against him to protect yourself and your child. He is committing acts of domestic violence. As you have no money it could be worth applying for legal aid to see if you can relocate.
    While the law says a child has the right to know both its parents no child should have to endure violence from anyone particularly a parent.
     
  5. Alan Weiss

    Alan Weiss Active Member

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    Hello Karen

    To put things in simple language. This is not a legal advice.

    When you are contemplating to relocate it is fair and is appropriate that you seek the consent of the other parent. The child has rights, and so the other parent. If you cannot negotiate the terms with the parent, you can apply to the Court to make a determination. This process is not simple nor is cheap.

    Wishing you an earl resolution
     
  6. Karen Jones

    Karen Jones Member

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    I am currently residing in nsw with my 2 year old son, his biological father lives in the same town as me. We have tried to work out our relationship issues (he has only been actively involved in our lives for the past four months) but it is not working out, at all. I am not coping emotionally or financially with my family living in victoria. My grandmother and mother have both stated that they are happy to take us in but to move in with them i would need to seek a relocation order. I also do not have a drivers license or car, so travelling around town here (rural) is difficult as i have to walk everywhere. This is yet another reason that i need to move closer to my family.
    My son is incredibly close with my mother, has grown up seeing her almost every single day and has spent most of his infant life living under the same roof as her. So they are very close.
    My ex partners family and my ex partner are not offering any support and i cannot confide in them emotionally whatsoever. I am really struggling at the moment and my biggest concern is that my case for relocation would not be strong enough and i would be forced to stay here. My ex has threatened me every time i bring up the idea of relocating so i am no longer able to speak to him about the matter.
     
  7. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    In pursuing a relocation order, you will need to argue why it's in the best interests of the child to be moved from NSW to Victoria and how you plan to facilitate the child having a meaningful relationship with his father if such a relocation order was to be made.

    To me, the reasons you have provided are not compelling, which I understand probably isn't what you want to hear. A child of two years of age can't fly to see dad every second weekend, and you don't have a licence to drive and meet him halfway. A child of that she will also struggle to build a meaningful relationship with dad if he doesn't seem him more frequently, and the child having a meaningful relationship with both parents is the court's primary consideration about what's in their best interests. While the child may have a close relationship with the maternal grandmother, that relationship is secondary to the father's, especially if that relationship is still developing. The fact that the father had only been around for four months is of fairly low significance - the child is only two, after all.

    Mediation might give you some help on this matter - the father and you could discuss it in a controlled environment to see if there is a way the child's relationship with the father can be facilitated if such a move is made, or if there is a middle ground for relocation.
     

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