QLD Query on Precedents and Case Law on Austlii?

[sammy01]

So she moved to WA, right? But you're in a different state?

Clearly, your enthusiasm for being a dad has not been diminished by the ex's negative attitude... If you're that keen to be involved in the kids live I suggest:

1. Save some $$ and move to WA.

2. Move to the same vicinity and seek additional time.

3. Be patient... 8 months old is cute... Little old ladies stop you in the street to tell you how beautiful your baby is... 2-year-old's are not cute... Little old ladies stop you in the shops to tell you that your child should learn some manners. The novelty of motherhood will wear off. Mum will want to go out, etc, etc and will call on you for assistance... If you are on the other side of the country that won't happen...

4. If you move to WA and do all you can to see the kid, it will not matter all that much if you wait a while to apply to court as you will be able to demonstrate that you've done all you can to be an active dad and hopefully I'm right with point 3 and you will get more time without court...

5. Like allforher said court is a good motivator to get her to agree. Sure applying to court may upset her - but if she let you see the kid more then it would not be necessary...

Final thought - do all you can to get time with the child without the stress of court but if it comes to that, she has more to fear from court than you do... That will be a bitter pill for her to swallow, but that is not your problem...

 

[Tim W]

What's the problem, that you needed to do an Anger Management course?

 

[new dad]

There is a DVO in place as the result of an argument, nothing physical (the paperwork reflects this). No charges were laid, and there are no conditions or stay away orders on the DVO (I could theoretically go and live with the ex now and not breach the dvo).

The police released me the same night back to the same address. I consented without admissions. This happened about 3 months before the baby was born. She wanted to continue the relationship but for me the writing was on the wall and it was clear that it was over, it has been a nightmare since.

The ex fell pregnant two weeks after we started dating. I tried to make it work but it was the most bizarre and toxic relationship dynamic I have ever experienced. I should have left sooner but with the baby coming...

It got so strange so quick that I sought advice from a community legal service as early as late October 2016. I have asked for the records from this but they said no, which seems strange but I imagine I could subpoena them as it was my own appointment.

The anger management was about getting proactive, anticipating that a judge might ask me to do one anyway, and showing that I was willing to do these things of my own accord, self development....

 

[new dad]

Thank you everyone for your insights and for the information, it's very much appreciated.

 

[AllForHer]

Have you considered getting a paternity test for the child? Alarm bells ring for me when you say she fell pregnant two weeks after you started dating. Pregnancy tests don't generate accurate results until the woman is around four weeks gestation.

 

[new dad]

Yep, it has crossed my mind on a number of occasions, seems likeI would have to do it through court though. To be fair, she took the test later than 2 weeks but told me at the time that with her ovulation cycle approx the 2 week point is when it's likely she conceived.

 

[Tim W]

Have you considered getting a paternity test for the child? Alarm bells ring for me....

I concur. Do this.

 

[new dad]

It's more than just the timing with the paternity concerns. Among other things, she didn't put my name on the birth certificate and when I questioned her about this, she said she would look at doing it after 2 years, at mediation. It was a non-negotiable for me and I said if she didn't I would go to court, so she relinquished and we did the forms for a new birth cert. I am now on the birth cert.

She wouldn't allow me to meet the baby for about 8 weeks after he was born, despite all my attempts to convince otherwise.

She is adamant that none of my family meet the baby for 2 or 3 years (my family have done nothing they live in a different state).

And she is adamant that I don't pay any child support, despite on several occasions me offering to, and being willing to not study and work so that it would be feasible.

And (I know this isn't reliable) but the child really doesn't have any features that I can point to and say yep that's my nose or ears.....

 

[sammy01]

Look into getting a cheap paternity tests... My understanding is they cost not much and are pretty reliable... They are not of a standard that court would accept, but it would give you a bit of insight...

Refusing child support? Just seems dodgy... But the paternity of my kids is 100%. I'm their dad...

I didn't pay child support for the first few months after separation despite doing all I could to initiate it. There is an avenue where you can get additional financial support from the gov't if you've got grounds to show that asking for child support from dad would cause you stress due to DV.

She might be doing that and that explains why you're not being hit up for child support. The system doesn't really allow for a parent to refuse child support without serious mitigating circumstances

 

[new dad]

Do you think that I should just ask if she is willing to do a paternity test? If I do, I can foresee big dramas ahead.

I have a visit coming up in early Jan, they have already canceled the Feb visit because I asked if my mum could come along with me.

January will be only the third time I will have seen my son