VIC First court appearance in 4 weeks, what can we expect?

[Tremaine]

Agree with sammy01, two nights a fortnight is nearly unheard of, these days.

If I had to surmise an average, I would say in the realm of four to five nights a fortnight is a pretty standard outcome for family law proceedings where there’s no adverse circumstances like abuse, neglect, violence, tyranny of distance, etc. It’s legislated that where shared parental responsibility is upheld but equal time isn’t considered in the kids’ best interests (which is not ordered after a trial very often, at times linked only to the inability of the parents to communicate properly), the court next considers substantial and significant time, which is a combination of weeknights, weekends and holiday time.

Obviously, at one night a week, that doesn’t fit the bill for equal time nor substantial and significant time, so there’s probably a reasonable chance of getting more time than that. Given the kids ages, I reckon their views are going to play a pretty big role in the outcome.

In perspective, though, where issues like abuse, violence, etc. don’t exist (real or perceived), most parents (like 95% of cases) are cooperative enough to end up settling outside of court anyway, particularly when a huge legal bill is pending.

 

[Keeks]

Agreed - in all my reading 2/12 is not your standard arrangement. It's been this way pretty much since separation. Husband has made efforts for the past two years to negotiate a change, but long story short, mum has traditionally called the shots - equally during and after the relationship - she has fits of rage when she comes up against any resistance, kids get caught in the cross-fire, dad chooses path of least resistance, mum is happy again and we remain stuck with one night a week.
She has legal representation and we'd love to know what advice she's receiving, or if she's calling the shots (however ill-informed they might be) and her lawyer is just going along with her. She can be quite a formidable force when she wants to be, but surely her lawyer is obligated to give her accurate and fair advice??
Up til now she's called upon every trick in the book to impose her will on everyone connected with the children - her choice for school, holidays, Christmas arrangements, even the style of haircuts the children get - but now that we've finally taken it down the legal route I think she's in for a bit of a shock if she finds she can't fabricate things to get her own way (mind you, we haven't seen her response affidavit yet, and our lawyer told us to be prepared to be horrified by what she'll include).
I read somewhere that it's really up to her to prove why substantial time isn't in the children's best interests, rather than us jumping through hoops to illustrate why the children need to spend more balanced time between the two households, which is a shame really because we've got some stellar evidence (texts, recordings and emails) which illustrates that she's pretty much prepared to do or say anything to get her way. She's journeyed a fair way down the parental alienation path so far and it's unclear how far she really is willing to go.
I'm hoping this will be a fairly open-and-shut case (no violence or abuse or drug issues), and that her lawyer recommends that she negotiate before we get to court.
You're right Tremaine, we SHOULD be in the 95% of families that have the capacity and resources to sort this out ourselves rather than clogging up the system when other families are in greater need of that support. We've just never hit that sweet spot leaving no other option but to go to court.
And I wish we'd done it much sooner too.