VIC False Sexual Assault Allegations on a Father - What to Do?

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sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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721
2,894
Thanks for the update.

Mate for what it is worth, I do think the system gets it right eventually. The system isn't perfect and it could be better and faster... But the system is not broken, what is broken is the people who will use our collective desire to protect children as a tool to hurt their ex.

Stay strong
 
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AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
3,664
684
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Agree with the above, the Court usually gets it right in the end. I've said it before on a lot of other posts, but I'll say it again anyway - the Court needs to play 'better safe than sorry' in all cases until it can test the evidence properly, because that's how the Court extends blanket protection to those children who are genuine victims.

Stay the course, mate.
 

NEEMA

Well-Known Member
8 March 2017
26
3
124
thanks for the update.
mate for what it is worth, I do think the system gets it right eventually. The system isn't perfect and it could be better and faster... But the system is not broken, what is broken is the people who will use our collective desire to protect children as a tool to hurt their ex
stay strong

Thanks you Sammy for your kind words. Your right I'm keeping clam, looking after myself for my children. Following the process and Patiently waiting for system take its time. I will see my children one day soon.
 

NEEMA

Well-Known Member
8 March 2017
26
3
124
Agree with the above, the Court usually gets it right in the end. I've said it before on a lot of other posts, but I'll say it again anyway - the Court needs to play 'better safe than sorry' in all cases until it can test the evidence properly, because that's how the Court extends blanket protection to those children who are genuine victims.

Stay the course, mate.


Thank you so much. I'm thankful that finally justice is was served, All my criminal charges I was found not guilty or police dropped it was contest for 2 days. All my ex lies came out. I have spend sleepless nights for months, worrying. Now finally IVO contest waiting for my date. Family court waiting for the dates as well to proceed.

I'm continue to read the threads you have provided. At least I know the process courts take us before the final contest. I will wait patiently. Once again I'm much obliged for all your help and time taken to reply.

Best Regards,
 

Muxaul

Well-Known Member
10 October 2017
154
13
414
I really encourage you to have a read through some cases on Austlii where false allegations of sexual abuse have been made so you can get an idea of the process that takes place, and see how the Court got to determining that the allegations were fabricated. Here's a few I found after a very quick search:

Tothill & Crowther [2017] FamCA 460 (30 June 2017)

Orten & Dank [2017] FamCA 405 (9 June 2017)

Melton & Hurley [2017] FamCA 346 (25 May 2017)

Bentleigh & Bentleigh [2017] FamCA 294 (11 May 2017)

This one is actually the story of one of the forum users here, who was the dad in this case: Prentice & Wilfred [2017] FamCA 290 (11 May 2017)

And just as an FYI, here's some where the allegations were found to be true:

Moore & Tillotson and Anor [2017] FamCA 456 (30 June 2017)

Myers & Raddich [2017] FamCA 380 (29 May 2017)

So, your son is going to have to speak to a lot of very intimidating authorities while this matter plays out, and being six years of age, the likelihood of his facts being both specific and consistent across all interviews is unlikely if the allegations are false. He will be interviewed by DHS, but also by the police, a child psychologist and a family report writer. All will be looking for the markers that indicate the allegations are true, and all will be looking for the markers that indicate the child has been coached. Even if he repeats the same story over and over again, if it sounds like he's reading from a script, the professionals will be suspicious.

After this process is all over and the Family Court is drawing its own conclusions about the whole debacle, if mum remains adamant that the child has been abused, even in the face of all the evidence to the contrary, then this is a very big advantage for you because it means you have evidence that mum is going to persevere with telling the child he was sexually abused, which the Court often finds poses an insurmountable risk to the child's mental well-being, resulting in a reversal of residency. Not always, but I would say often enough for it to be noteworthy.

Your job now, however, is to stay calm, level-headed and persevere. Don't blame the Court or the police or DHS or any of those groups. The only person responsible for the current situation is your ex, but if you can set her behaviour aside as just being vindictive and keep your focus on your son and his best interests, you stand a much greater chance of coming away from these allegations unscathed.
Thank you so much for giving us hope. I as a father is also facing an interim IVO with purely false allegations. I am currently at n contest with this IVO.

Even if I can successfully prove in court that my soon be ex had lied in this IVO application, I expect that she will throw me an false child abuse or child sexual allegation one day.

I don’t like always being on the defend side. I wish to fight back.
 

Muxaul

Well-Known Member
10 October 2017
154
13
414
Thank you so much. I'm thankful that finally justice is was served, All my criminal charges I was found not guilty or police dropped it was contest for 2 days. All my ex lies came out. I have spend sleepless nights for months, worrying. Now finally IVO contest waiting for my date. Family court waiting for the dates as well to proceed.

I'm continue to read the threads you have provided. At least I know the process courts take us before the final contest. I will wait patiently. Once again I'm much obliged for all your help and time taken to reply.

Best Regards,

Neem

Stay strong mate! I’ll be in your boat soon. Please share your updates more often at here and we can give each other support.
 

NEEMA

Well-Known Member
8 March 2017
26
3
124
Stay strong mate! I’ll be in your boat soon. Please share your updates more often at here and we can give each other support.

Hi,

Sorry to hear, your in the same boat as me. I don't wish this on any body, even the worst enemy in this world. But we are where we are, we need to deal with it. Its a test for being a father.

My ex made new IVO break allegations again some thing from more than a year back. I'm in courts again fighting new round of allegations. Police are running the case on her behalf, its all free for her.
Do not accept the IVO without admission, contest the IVO, when you go in to family court they will treat you as guilty even though it's not proven. This is from my experience

Write dairy everyday, to make sure you know where your at a given point in time, in future you can refer it. I do voice dairy every day and takes back up. Its some thing you should be in a position to refer back in case you have new round of allegations

Always spend with your credit/debit card, try save invoices, if not up to 5 years you can Subpoena the invoices, dates you can know from your card statements.

Your guilty until proved innocent, in the Gynocentric justice system, man is always guilty until unless proved other wise. No one is your friend in the court system, not even your own legal team
Even though I have won 2 cases, still I have not given orders to see my children due to serious nature of allegations.

I have requested for Psychiatrist test, Courts will try push you to go for Psychologist report. Psychiatrist is more reliable and qualified to make any recommendations, you need to choose right person so in future you should be able to call them for evidences.

Women who go for high conflict definitely will have some mental issues, like border line personality etc. your more better going with Psychologists.

Don't think Independent Children lawyer is your friend or fighting for children. they always favor mother. my ICL Gone to say to judge that may be father is committing family violence but he may not be realizing even though I was acquitted on 2 false IVO breach criminal cases.

You by going through Psychiatrist and getting a clear report you can shut all sorts of comments and your making yourself clear with any Psychological allegations. If you go through Psychologist, they are not doctors unlike Psychiatrist and in the eyes of court your not fully clear

DHHS is the most criminal organisation you will ever come across. They will by default supports the mother and send letters to court directly that father indeed committed sexual assault.
Im challenging them, planning to take them to Administrative tribunal, I will fight until the truth comes out. they are the most corrupt and criminal organisation you will come across.

My case has not gone in Magellan list, even though there are serious sexual allegations. Family court saying that sexual assault allegations came after a very late and father was not seeing the kids, they suspect mother is making up stories.

DHHS will still push there agenda and Independent children lawyer and court will follow the DHHS recommendations, so your helpless.

SOCIT and Police are involved, be ready for any investigation, dont take a step back deal with them. They are not Ur friends, they dont care your innocent man. For them its important that they want to get some thing so they can charge you and send you to court or trial. My lawyer recommend No comment interview. example, what is your name: No comment. Still seek legal advice for yourself.

One thing I want to tell you from my experience, you need to look after yourself. It will take more than 4-5 years. each court date they will give you after 8 months, it will break you mentally. When the courts will realize mother made up the stories finally say after 3 years, they will ask you to do mediation and try come up with a consent order

Don't do that mistake at all. A person who gone to such lengths to alienate other parent and put children through hell, do you think she will let you have a meaning full relation with children. I dont think so. In this legal system mother give a dam to court orders, they don't follow the court orders at all.

It's a common occurrence through, even if the mother doesn't know all the tricks of the trade her social workers will tell her what to do. Most sole-less unethical people you will come across in this journey is social workers. they care about having a victim = govt funds/grants. Again you will end up going to courts and start from where you left to have access to children. Its a reality you need to face and for any misbehavior mother does there are no consequence at all.

Courts will tell you to negotiate, then you should say, in the best interest of children and for you to have meaningful relation you would like to contest the case given the history of your ex allegations. Family law in Australia works with a simple word "In the best Interest of the children" Its a 6 billion dollar industry courts/DHHS/Social workers hide behind this word.

So you need to learn to understand there dirty game, when courts don't have any emergency up to three years about the best interest of the children, all of a sudden when the tides are turning they will play this card to pressurize you. You need to play safe.

Sort out yourself, look after your health, you need to be health and sound for your children. Children will be the most impacted during high conflict cases, unfortunately mothers don't seems to care. You need to be sound and strong so your in a position to give stability to your children. They will be damaged goods, you have to be there rock to look after them when all this finishes.

My children are my life, they are the only purpose in my life. I dreamed of having a children and wife, but I never thought my life will turn out like living hell. I'm very scared of women in general now, they are the most cunning and unloyal people, I'm more better of being single for life, less stress and more time for my kids.

A friendly word:

1) Stop drinking or give up totally if you can, they will try use this against you.

2) Have a work where your flexible, they will try to discriminate you because your working full time.

3) Try learn some cooking classes, may be like Cake making, I'm preparing for when I will have my children, I want to be able to make cakes for them, cook for them very good and tasty food, children will love it.

4) Educate yourself, your barristers/Lawyers will push you to mediate, because they are expected to demonstrate to judges that they are in control of there client, its a matter of there impression in front of the judges. You're just a another case for them.

In all fairness they are goods barristers and lawyers who will fight for you also. you should know what you want and don't budge if they try to push you and scare you. Make sure they deliver as per your instructions.

5) Try to go for group meeting like Dad's in Distress etc, they are bunch of fathers who try to help each other.

I wish you all the best and please share your experiences, so we can bounce experiences of each other. Take care of yourself mate. I can't insist enough on this.
 

Muxaul

Well-Known Member
10 October 2017
154
13
414
Hi,
sorry to hear, your in the same boat as me. I dont wish this on any body, even the worst enemy in this world. But we are where we are, we need to deal with it. Its a test for being a father.

My ex made new IVO break allegations again some thing from more than a year back. I'm in courts again fighting new round of allegations. Police are running the case on her behalf, its all free for her.
Do not accept the IVO without admission, contest the IVO, when you go in to family court they will treat you as guilty EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT PROVED. This is from my experience

Write dairy everyday, to make sure you know where your at a given point in time, in future you can refer it. I do voice dairy every day and takes back up. Its some thing you should be in a position to refer back in case you have new round of alligations

Always spend with your credit/Debit card, try save invoices, if not up to 5 years you can Subpoena the invoices, dates you can know from your card statements.

Your guilty until proved innocent, in the Gynocentric justice system, man is always guilty until unless proved other wise, No one is your friend in the court system, not even your own legal team
Even though I have won 2 cases, still I have not given orders to see my children due to serious nature of allegations.

I have requested for Psychiatrist test, Courts will try push you to go for Psychologist report. Psychiatrist is more reliable and qualified to make any recommendations, you need to choose right person so in future you should be able to call them for evidences.

Women who go for high conflict definitely will have some mental issues, like border line personality etc. your more better going with Psychologists.

Dont think Independent Children lawyer is your friend or fighting for children. they always favor mother. my ICL Gone to say to judge that may be father is committing family violence but he may not be realizing even though I was acquitted on 2 false IVO breach criminal cases.

You by going through Psychiatrist and getting a clear report you can shut all sorts of comments and your making yourself clear with any Psychological allegations. If you go through Psychologist, they are not doctors unlike Psychiatrist and in the eyes of court your not fully clear

DHHS is the most criminal organisation you will ever come across. They will by default supports the mother and send letters to court directly that father indeed committed sexual assault.
Im challenging them, planning to take them to Administrative tribunal, I will fight until the truth comes out. they are the most corrupt and criminal organisation you will come across.

My case has not gone in Magellan list, even though there are serious sexual allegations. Family court saying that sexual assault allegations came after a very late and father was not seeing the kids, they suspect mother is making up stories.

DHHS will still push there agenda and Independent children lawyer and court will follow the DHHS recommendations, so your helpless.

SOCIT and Police are involved, be ready for any investigation, dont take a step back deal with them. They are not Ur friends, they dont care your innocent man. For them its important that they want to get some thing so they can charge you and send you to court or trial. My lawyer recommend No comment interview. example, what is your name: No comment. Still seek legal advice for yourself.

One thing I want to tell you from my experience, you need to look after yourself. It will take more than 4-5 years. each court date they will give you after 8 months, it will break you mentally. When the courts will realize mother made up the stories finally say after 3 years, they will ask you to do mediation and try come up with a consent order

Dont do that mistake at all. A person who gone to such lengths to alienate other parent and put children through hell, do you think she will let you have a meaning full relation with children. I dont think so. In this legal system mother give a dam to court orders, they dont follow the court orders at all. Its a common occurrence through. even if the mother doesn't know all the tricks of the trade her social workers will tell her what to do. Most sole-less unethical people you will come across in this journey is social workers. they care about having a victim = govt funds/grants. Again you will end up going to courts and start from where you left to have access to children. Its a reality you need to face and for any misbehavior mother does there are no consequence at all.

Courts will tell you to negotiate, then you should say, in the best interest of children and for you to have meaningful relation you would like to contest the case given the history of your ex allegations. Family law in Australia works with a simple word "In the best Interest of the children" Its a 6 billion dollar industry courts/DHHS/Social workers hide behind this word. So you need to learn to understand there dirty game, when courts dont have any emergency up to three years about the best interest of the children, all of a sudden when the tides are turning they will play this card to pressurize you. You need to play safe.

Sort out yourself, look after your health, you need to be health and sound for your children. Children will be the most impacted during high conflict cases, unfortunately mothers dont seems to care. You need to be sound and strong so your in a position to give stability to your children. They will be damaged goods, you have to be there rock to look after them when all this finishes.

My children are my life, they are the only purpose in my life. I dreamed of having a children and wife, but I never thought my life will turn out like living hell. I'm very scared of women in general now, they are the most cunning and unloyal people, I'm more better of being single for life, less stress and more time for my kids.

A friendly word:
1) Stop drinking or give up totally if you can, they will try use this against you.
2) Have a work where your flexible, they will try to discriminate you because your working full time.
3) Try learn some cooking classes, may be like Cake making, I'm preparing for when I will have my children, I want to be able to make cakes for them, cook for them very good and tasty food, children will love it.
4) Educate yourself, your barristers/Lawyers will push you to mediate, because they are expected to demonstrate to judges that they are in control of there client, its a matter of there impression in front of the judges, your just a another case for them. In all fairness they are goods barristers and lawyers who will fight for you also. you should know what you want and dont budge if they try to push you and scare you. Make sure they deliver as per your instructions.
5) Try to go for group meeting like Dad's in Distress etc, they are bunch of fathers who try to help each other.

I wish you all the best and please share your experiences, so we can bounce experiences of each other. Take care of yourself mate. I cant insist enough on this.


Neem
Wow that’s terrible for you. How can police keep accepting her IVO claims even though she’s made several in before? I’ve also got an IVO application with false allegations. I have contested it at first mentioning date, and will go to directional hearing then contested hearing with lawyer. I have evidence and hopefully I can prove who was lying.

Some divorce lawyers podcast says in our situation, we and our lawyer have to be aggressive. Always on the defending side will drag us down. We need to attack back. In my case I’m considering applying an IVO too, and I have evidence. But some lawyers I saw said it doesn’t matter, family court Oder will overwrite it anyway, and some lawyer said not to do that. They say it’d look like a revenge and won’t look good to judges. But again some lawyer articals recommended always throwing an IVO back just to level the battlefield.

I’ll definitely try to request psychiatric test on one party or both at family court. I don’t know when and how to do this though.

I know that if current IVO application fails, a new one or sexual abuse allegation will come.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,154
721
2,894
I would suggest against getting an IVO against the ex...

Why? Well unless you genuinely fear for your safety, the thing will be to your detriment.... Why? Well her lawyer will very quickly make the case that you're both basket cases - hence you're unable to effectively co-parent and there are high levels of conflict and to protect the child from the conflict it will be necessary to minimise contact between the parents... That means the child is best off spending more time with one parent than the other...

Wanna guess who that will be?

Old mate made some good observations, do a cooking course, do everything to look like you're a good dad and prepared to do what ever it takes to raise the kid well.... But spending your time proving the ex is a twit is not what family law is about... You want to prove that it is in the best interests of the kid to spend time with you.... And IVO against the mum isn't gonna help that cause.

But - if you feel genuinely in fear, get the IVO... Sadly, I reckon these things get used in family law as a strategy to get the upper hand. The courts are on to it, but it still happens.
 

Muxaul

Well-Known Member
10 October 2017
154
13
414
I would advise against getting an IVO against the ex... WHY? well unless you genuinely fear for your safety, the thing will be to your detriment.... WHY? well her lawyer will very quickly make the case that you're both basket cases - hence you're unable to effectively co-parent and there are high levels of conflict and to protect the child from the conflict it will be necessary to minimise contact between the parents... That means the child is best off spending more time with one parent than the other... Wanna guess who that will be?

Old mate made some good observations, do a cooking course, do everything to look like you're a good dad and prepared to do what ever it takes to raise the kid well.... But spending your time proving the ex is a twit is not what family law is about... You want to prove that it is in the best interests of the kid to spend time with you.... And IVO against the mum isn't gonna help that cause.

BUT - if you feel genuinely in fear, get the IVO... Sadly, I reckon these things get used in family law as a strategy to get the upper hand. The courts are on to it, but it still happens.
Thanks Sammy. I am fearful that new IVOs and false Sexual Abuse allegations will keep on coming in the future. I’ll have to keep defending just like OP does. It’s a dreadful experience.

I think applying a psychiatry test to one or both party will be the ultimate solution to end it all. But how, where and when to do it? Is it a good idea to get test done on myself before requesting family court to order ex to do the test? Until then, how can people like us stop new false allegations coming in?