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NSW Ex in Jail - Chances of Getting Full Custody of Children?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by CassandraLeaa, 30 September 2016.

  1. CassandraLeaa

    CassandraLeaa Member

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    At the moment, my son is 15 months old. He has never met his father as I left him due to domestic violence when I was pregnant. I am looking to apply for full custody of children as his father is currently in jail, though, I recently received a letter from him saying when he gets out he is going to take me to court.

    When he was out of jail, he only ever called once to meet his son and we set a date. The following week, though, I didn't hear from him for 3 weeks after that and his excuse was he ripped someone off $25000 and they kidnapped him. I'm not sure if that incident was reported to the police but, obviously, I don't want my son near anything like that.

    When me and him were together we both use to smoke methamphetamine together, though when I found out I was pregnant and left him, I completely stopped and was completely upfront about everything with my midwifes and on my weekly pregnancy check up. They would drug test me and obviously they were all clean, and that is all he has to say bad about me to the judge if he does take me to family court.

    I still have every text message from when I was pregnant and after I had left him telling me that he is going to kill me and my son and all things like that. When I was 16 weeks pregnant, I was still with him when he threw a TV stand at me, which I ended up having to go to the hospital that night for stitches. The police were called by neighbours as they could hear me screaming out for help but when the police got there, I just said we were just arguing and everything was fine. Then as soon as the police left, I drove to the hospital to get the stitches, so either way, they would both be on police file that they came because someone was screaming out for help, and then less then an hour later, I was at the hospital getting stitches.

    After that I left him and cleaned my life up but he didn't, hence him currently being in jail. I want to get full custody of my son because It makes me sick even the thought of him having rights to take my son as there is no order in place. Like in my head, I think people are out kidnapping him and everything else and imagine if my son is with him and anything like that happens, and not only other people but himself as well. He is a violent person that use to say he was going to kill me and my son and I'd never forgive myself if he ever did hurt my son.

    I just want to know, what do you think will happen if I do go for full custody of children (like will it be granted) and how do I go about it? From the letter his father sent me from the jail, he said he gets out in December so I need to get onto this as soon as possible.

    Due to the domestic violence and everything else as I want nothing at all to do with him I didn't get his name put on my sons birth certificate. I'm happy if it does go ahead for the judge to approve supervised visits as I do think my son should know his dad, but like I said, the thought of unsupervised visits scares me, not only for my son's safety but my personal safety also.
     
  2. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    This is a really difficult matter to give guidance on, so I really strongly urge you to speak to a lawyer. Legal Aid offers free consultations for family law matters, so take advantage of their services and get some proper legal advice.
     
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  3. running

    running Well-Known Member

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    You can also ring the Women's legal service for your state to get phone advice. But definitely apply for legal aid.
     
  4. msoleanda

    msoleanda Active Member

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  5. msoleanda

    msoleanda Active Member

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    I have nothing to do with this thread but here are some interesting facts. My son's ex has similar first name, they are in Qld not NSW, there are 3 children aged 4,2 and 2 months. My son does not have any drug convictions current. The lady involved was convicted of drug driving whilst pregnant and has a 5 month licence suspension. A DVO was taken out by her in Jan 17 and I have now had a week of watching her in action. Prior to my arrival, my son did not have access to see his children unsupervised and I have a message telling me that I cant have them either. A month ago, she registered a DVO breach which at best amounts to taking her the long way home and she rang the police. After telling me that no one was having access to the children, not 24 hours later my son was offered access for about 5 hours. Since then, my son has been offered the 2 eldest children for a full 24 hour period and then a second overnight stay. I have watched her harrass my son with phone and txt calls and I have had some too. She has schooled the 4 yrold to tell her who is with Daddy and on the last occasion, as soon as they arrived at the unit, she was harrassing both my son and grandson to see if his friend was here. He was honest, he was only 4 years old and, once she knew that my son's new friend was here, she came around and grabbed the 4 yrold and tried to take the 2 yrold. Police left the 2yr old in my possession overnight whilst my son was taken away for questioning. Earlier that day, a drug raid was made on his new friend's house which the mother was funnily aware of. Nothing was found but I understand the dob in a dealer can cause that reaction and I support that initiative. In this case it was spite towards the woman, just because she was my son's friend. The next morning when we went to court for the hearing of the DVO matter above, the mother opened the door of my car and grabbed the 2 yr old. THat's 2 cases of kidnapping your own children from an agreed time allocation in 12 hours, both running the risk of injuring the children physically whilst the mental affects will be long lasting. The case was adjourned and whilst I am aware of the reasons, they are in no way detrimental to my son. I will say that Police are now fully aware of what the mother has been doing. Crying wolf is an old but pertinent phrase but as she took out the DVO, the onus is on my son. The DVO does not relate to child access.

    Getting back to the attached thread, a number of the events are similar and with due respect to the thread, it is easy in this environment to write a story. My comments are NOT in relation to her story and I show no disrespect. THe story to closely resembled what has happened here.

    To the readers, I ask the following:

    What advice can you give my son to gain the high ground with a woman, a mother that would use her own children as a tool of anger towards the father, With no parenting agreement in place (I understand she has refused mediation), there is an agreed 50%/50% care of the children. In fact he was the primary care giver. The police stated that he had every right to safely look after the children in his own house. They were not at risk and very happy.

    I don't care who you are, your advice and help on the route to take to save these children from this set of circumstances is urgently needed, even going as far as suggesting that the mother is unfit to provide the guardianship that is needed.

    Whilst I have a daily diary of what has happened, and so has my son and his friend, that does not help these little boys.

    Please help us
     
  6. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    ok so maybe starting your own thread?
    Maybe just maybe - IF Keith Day is your actual name, then make up something new and anonymous to post under.

    Then can you give us much detail as possible - change names - details etc... So they had a 50/50 shared care agreement? for low long? why did it stop?
    Can you write a dot point chronology perhaps?
    Have you spoken to a solicitor?
     
  7. msoleanda

    msoleanda Active Member

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    Done sammy01
     
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