So if he is not at Macca's at 6 he misses out..... Does' he refuse to drop them at Macca's?
He doesn't return the children at McDonalds 6pm. Every week is a different story. Latest is he messaged me to collect my one daughter from school (3.30pm), knowing I am at work and that no alternative arrangements have been made. My work is flexible, so I make sure I leave on time to collect her. Alternatively I organise afterschool care. The schools know my situation and has been very supportive. My ex demands to collect my other two from his home at 6pm or I don't see them. He lives 10 minutes away from the Macca's, so to him it's a power/ controlling game. I have been highly uncomfortable with this, though keep communication to the point. He messages me in essays, excuse after excuse, as to why he cannot adhere to the court orders and then tells me I should know the law better.
If you have an avo on him and he tells you to pick the kids up from his place he is likely to be in breach of the avo. Talk to the cops.
Next - write to him to explain NO. And the reason why... Then explain if he forces you to change pick up location again you will no longer be dropping off the kids and explain why... Fear, avo. coercive behaviour....
But. I'm a cynic. He tells you to pick the kid up from school? Yeah of course he does. His time with the kids doesn't start until 6pm...
Next - write to him to explain NO. And the reason why... Then explain if he forces you to change pick up location again you will no longer be dropping off the kids and explain why... Fear, avo. coercive behaviour....
But. I'm a cynic. He tells you to pick the kid up from school? Yeah of course he does. His time with the kids doesn't start until 6pm...
This is actually when the kids are in his care. He needs to exchange them back to me at 6pm at Maccas, but is cutting his own parenting time short by me collecting my one daughter from school. I should only be collecting the kids from him at 6pm at Maccas.
The avo refers to the court order. I will chat to the cops, see what can be done. I have spoken to them once before when he initially pulled his tricks. They phoned him and he blew them saying we have another "agreement". The cops did not know what to do, because it became "he said, she said". I will attempt again with a clearer approach.
Yes 6pm Maccas was decided by both of us. I thought it might make things easier on us if we see less of one another by collecting the children from school, though this was not his understanding. He wants me collect my one school aged child from school, refuses to take the other two to kinder (as I proposed for them to be then collected by me at their kinder, but no he wants to keep them home (OH WELL)) and then expects me to do all the collections and dictations on when I can collect the other children on HIS parenting time. So clearly FAILED to come to an agreement because no sane person would want to do EVERYTHING even though we are separated. I am use to doing everything, but we are married anymore. He only needs to keep up his 30% of his parenting bargain. Though thinking of this going forward, I should just go for sole custody, because trying to come to a reasonable plan is impossible.
Apply pressure to the cops. You have the AVO after all. So firstly, make sure you have a text message from you to him clearly stating Macca's NOT his house. Then take that to the cops and explain he is forcing you to choose between not picking up the kids OR going to his house which is coercion.
Now as far as him keeping the kids home on his days... His days his rules. An other way of looking at that one is he wants to maximize time with kids.
Now is the pick up from school thing a routine or a once in a while request?
And nope you should not go for sole custody because you're not gonna get it and it will make you seem unreasonable.
Now as far as him keeping the kids home on his days... His days his rules. An other way of looking at that one is he wants to maximize time with kids.
Now is the pick up from school thing a routine or a once in a while request?
And nope you should not go for sole custody because you're not gonna get it and it will make you seem unreasonable.
OK, I will try with the cops. Thanks
True, on his time he can care for the kids as he pleases. Though if you enter an agreement you need to uphold your part of it, otherwise it fails (as in this case)
FINE! (Lol), I don't want to be perceived unreasonable. Let's pray for less drama then.
The pick-up from school thing has happened about 80% of the time, if it was occasional, I won't have an issues, but I know this too well. He wants me to do all the heavy lifting and he lays the law. Like C'mon? That's not what our court order states.
So were you guys successfully doing changeovers at Macca's at any point before the attempted agreement regarding school as an alternative?
Just can't help thinking this is more about a battle of wills than any practical problem ... I get the back & forth power play, we've all experienced it after a breakup.. end of the day though, legals are rarely a good solution to that.
Just can't help thinking this is more about a battle of wills than any practical problem ... I get the back & forth power play, we've all experienced it after a breakup.. end of the day though, legals are rarely a good solution to that.
something needs to be done about you picking up the kids on his time. Do you have a solicitor? I'd be forking out the $$ to have solicitor write to his indicating if he can't do the pick up then it would be best to go for orders that mean he only has Friday 6pm until start of school on monday.
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