There has been a court order in place for over 10 years for my 2 children then ages 4 and 6. They spent the weekdays with me and 3 out of 4 weekends with their mother. 50% school holidays. There was disagreements over the years but this stayed in place. The children respected them too and we always advocated for the importance to see their mother even when it meant missing out on a friends party etc. If there was a important weekend, myself and their mum were able to agree to weekend swaps etc. Most communication was amicable through my wife (their step mum, always consent given and discussed before hand with myself).
2 years ago there was an issue with our eldest dau and mobile phone usage that was unknown and blindsightedus all. Both families came together and agreed that a change of school environment and in turn living arrangements would be good for her. Her younger brother was also included in this change. The change was that the children came to me every second weekend and half the school holidays.
My dau is now 18 and has just moved back to us after the relationship with her mother became controlling and broke down.
My son who is now 16 maganed to get a casual job at maccas and we showed some understanding and respect when it came to having to work some weekends but we still asserted that if not every second weekend, he had to come every 3rd or 4the weekend to us. This worked for a year. His mother continued to bring him to us. In the last 12 mths, in particular this last 6 months,he has begun working more and more as a rouseabout and shearer, misses alot of school because of this and doesnt come to see us at all dispite our insistance that he is due to come.Every week i ask is he coming down or not even though i know there will be an excuse, but the communication was still respectful, I keep him updated about what is happening here and still he visited be that now once a month.
I have now not seen him since Novemeber. In februrary he finally arranged to come with his sister on a weekend, his mother kicked up a fuss on the phone the night before and said that she was in charge and that we had to ask her not my son. I was tired of not seeing my son,we argued about it (which she then gaslighted her comments to me in a written txt message to turn it around into my fault) Now little contact from him until the latest message from him was, in context when he found out that his Pa ( of my father in law) sold his (Pa's) ride on mower that my son loved and obviously thought was going to be his, "'that was ...mine. i hope you know this has cost your relationship with your son". I assume a teen tantrum over the sale of something he liked, but was not his. I am trying not to be offended and open but it is getting hard.
I have respected his wish to live with his mother, i have no problems with that, nor have i a problem with him working. I am always happy to negotiate especially as he is older but i now dont see him at all and miss him.
Is there any recourse? Is there anything i can enforce? This living arrangement is mutual but with understanding that he children still visited. Obviously his mother is not respecting or helping to encourage a meaningful relationship? Can older children dictate at all?
It is strange that court orders that are done when children and young do not have any instructions for when children are older. Children have rights and needs, working,socially etc but when the law states that both parents are responsible for a child how can they be responsible when the child just wants to do their own thing? and the other parent doesnt care as long as it favours them.
A bit of a story, questions with answers i probably already can guess. I am just tired.
Thanks for any input.
2 years ago there was an issue with our eldest dau and mobile phone usage that was unknown and blindsightedus all. Both families came together and agreed that a change of school environment and in turn living arrangements would be good for her. Her younger brother was also included in this change. The change was that the children came to me every second weekend and half the school holidays.
My dau is now 18 and has just moved back to us after the relationship with her mother became controlling and broke down.
My son who is now 16 maganed to get a casual job at maccas and we showed some understanding and respect when it came to having to work some weekends but we still asserted that if not every second weekend, he had to come every 3rd or 4the weekend to us. This worked for a year. His mother continued to bring him to us. In the last 12 mths, in particular this last 6 months,he has begun working more and more as a rouseabout and shearer, misses alot of school because of this and doesnt come to see us at all dispite our insistance that he is due to come.Every week i ask is he coming down or not even though i know there will be an excuse, but the communication was still respectful, I keep him updated about what is happening here and still he visited be that now once a month.
I have now not seen him since Novemeber. In februrary he finally arranged to come with his sister on a weekend, his mother kicked up a fuss on the phone the night before and said that she was in charge and that we had to ask her not my son. I was tired of not seeing my son,we argued about it (which she then gaslighted her comments to me in a written txt message to turn it around into my fault) Now little contact from him until the latest message from him was, in context when he found out that his Pa ( of my father in law) sold his (Pa's) ride on mower that my son loved and obviously thought was going to be his, "'that was ...mine. i hope you know this has cost your relationship with your son". I assume a teen tantrum over the sale of something he liked, but was not his. I am trying not to be offended and open but it is getting hard.
I have respected his wish to live with his mother, i have no problems with that, nor have i a problem with him working. I am always happy to negotiate especially as he is older but i now dont see him at all and miss him.
Is there any recourse? Is there anything i can enforce? This living arrangement is mutual but with understanding that he children still visited. Obviously his mother is not respecting or helping to encourage a meaningful relationship? Can older children dictate at all?
It is strange that court orders that are done when children and young do not have any instructions for when children are older. Children have rights and needs, working,socially etc but when the law states that both parents are responsible for a child how can they be responsible when the child just wants to do their own thing? and the other parent doesnt care as long as it favours them.
A bit of a story, questions with answers i probably already can guess. I am just tired.
Thanks for any input.
