QLD 50/50 shared care, child not attending school often in mother's care

[sammy01]

I am wondering if anyone is aware if we will we need to go through the mediation path and request a 60i certificate to apply for a contravention order?
Nope. But I'd wanna have a closer look at the orders. I reckon the bit about needing to look after the educational requirements has not been met hece a contravention applicaiton should succeed and that doesn't need mediation first.

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Hi all, so I have had another look at the orders. There is a subheading titled 'family dispute resolution' that states the below:

32. That in the event that there is a dispute about the child or about the interpretation, implementation or enforcement of these orders, before making any further application to a court the parents shall: a) either attend counselling or mediation with an organisation recognised under the Family Law Act 1975 (as amended) or by the Commonwealth Attorney- General; or b) participate in family dispute resolution with a family relationship centre or a person authorised under s.10g of the Family Law Act 1975 (as amended).

We are concerned if we contact mediation that the mother will most likely ensure the child attends school to avoid going to court, and then go back to her usual ways. I don't think there is a way around this though?
Also, the only order relating to education (because we didn't honestly think the child attending school would become a problem) is:

23. That each parent shall ensure that the child attend all educational, sporting and hobby events when the child are with that parent in all reasonable circumstances.

This order was added as the mother was refusing to take the child to extra curricular activities such a as soccer and swimming. She still is, which makes things quite difficult as most companies work on a week about basis and struggle to add the child into sessions fortnightly, or for swimming we have to try make up a class in the week the child is in our care which can prove difficult and mean the child is in a class with a different teacher/students each week which can upset him.

In case it is of any importance, the child is also diagnosed with ASD and his treating psychologist has recently completed a school visit. She today has suggested that the child would benefit from an intellectual assessment as he is clearly struggling at school and witnessed him completely shut down in the classroom when asked to complete a task he found difficult. She suggested while the school attendance in his mother's care does not explain his intellectual disability it would not be helping him either, and that children with ASD require structure and routine, that he does not appear to be getting when in his mothers care.

 

[sammy01]

Nope - you're right. mediation will need to happen first.

Ok, so getting the kid to school is the priority here. TRUE?

So I'd be writing a letter either now, or early next year. Basically, giving her a heads up, that she needs to grow up.... That hopefully will get the kid into school more consistently for a while. Keep an eye on things. Any early pick up's / late drop offs on a frequent basis and you do another letter.... REPEAT.

Look she knows she should be sending the kid to school, so you're job is to do what the founder of the Democrates said was his job - "keep the bastards honest". You just keep plugging away so the kid goes to school because once she knows she is found out she will HOPEFULLY do the right thing. Failing that do the mediation and let her know that you will apply to court if attendance drops. Keep the bastards honest.

 

[Rosscoe]

Hmmm... I'm not so sure. The orders state: "23. That each parent shall ensure that the child attend all educational, sporting and hobby events when the child are with that parent in all reasonable circumstances."

There could be an argument made that the OP has not ensured that the child attend all educational events and try and couch this as meaning school. The counter argument from OP side could well be that the intention of that clause was aimed at extra-curricular events and not specifically school. It would be an argument that hurts them in the long run but may make you go through mediation and back to court in the mean time. Joys of the legal world....

Should you go back to mediation / court there is a case for urgency here and state that the child is at risk the longer he is out of school. I agree with writing letters, keeping pressure on and so on as keeping this out of court is obviously preferable but keep it in the back of your mind that that may be the only way to address this. Some of the behavior issues you are describing are alarming too. I think it would be wise to be pro-active. Think about what a court may order at interim stages. Did you ever have a family report done in initial court proceedings? If so, it may worth while being pro-active and suggest to OP that you privately book the same family report writer, and if not book with another one? This would have a dual effect I'd think- 1) It shows OP you are serious about addressing non-attendance at school, and 2) given the circumstances I think a FRW would have negative findings of the OP capacity to parent. Think about this strategically. The OP will surely know this as all parents I have no doubt know that keeping kids out of school is wrong and she will feel pressured by your suggestion. But, there is also the additional benefit that should this go to court you have the evidence of an expert (FRW) to back you up at the interim hearing stage. Just some thoughts.... I honestly feel the best thing to do is get on the front foot, apply the pressure in a civil and thoughtful manner while being child focused the whole time.

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Thank you for both of your replies. My partner contacted the mother via SMS yesterday to ask why the child had not attended school, it was his school swimming class week so he has missed that (order 23) and also did not get to attend his sports day earlier in the the year (order 23 again). He expressed his concern that the child is having a lot of time off in her care and is there anything he can do to try help get the child to school. The mother advised he was sick again (not true) and told my partner it is none of his business what happens to the child in her care. He responded saying it is both of their responsibility to raise the child and he is just concerned and wants to help. She told him that she doesn't need to explain herself to him or anyone else and to only contact her in case of an emergency. The child has come home today and told us he has not been sick he has sat at home in his mums room all week.

Unfortunately a full family report was not completed in the last court case. My partner was assessed with his son as the mother tried all the usual tricks (abusive father, drug addict, drug dealer. you name it basically). Report was very positive for the relationship my partner has with his son and recommended time to commence immediately (we had not seen him in 3 months at the time). The mother was never assessed with the child as at the time we were trying to show we could co-parent and do what we could to gain 50% custody.

Is it possible to book a meeting with a family report writer while not in court? If so does anyone have any advise on how this could work? We are wondering if my partner should apply for mediation now, knowing the mother has only previously showed up to 1 (out of 6) mediation meetings and she is unlikely to attend. This would at least provide my partner with the certificate to apply to court.
Or could we apply for mediation and at the same time look into applying for a contravention order? That way if the contravention order was not approved (not sure how they work or if that is the correct terminology) he would already be on the waiting list for mediation (they usually give the mother 3 months to respond from memory before issuing a certificate).

 

[sammy01]

Is it possible to book a meeting with a family report writer while not in court?
No.
Start the mediation. She probably wont attend, but good to show that you're doing all you can before doing the contravention (and yep you're doint the terminology right)

Do mediation with one of the freebee's like Relationship Australia. Get onto that asap because it wont happen until Febuary or later.

So realistically, you go through all of this and a contravention application. All worth doing to try to motivate mum to stop being a twit... BUT if it doesn't work there isn't much the courts can do. Look i think you should proceed, but self represent. Don't throw $$ at this because the courts are not gonna give you value for money in their response.

 

[Atticus]

A quick update, we have just received a copy of the child's absence report and for this year alone it is 6 pages long. The child is getting dropped off around 10am and picked up around 2pm on the days that he is attending school in his mother's care. She is also collecting him at 10am on the Fridays when he returns to her care, so isn't actually attending a full week of school even when in our care.

I guess you guys have spoken to the head master or teachers about these missed days? .... @sammy01 (being a teacher) may be better able to answer this, but I would have thought there would be a level of absence beyond which there becomes a duty of care to report this higher up the chain..... If you can get something in writing from the school itself that confirms a level of concern then that is going to be a BIG addition to your ammunition going into this... It becomes more than just a concerned parent, but what appears to be educational neglect (abuse under the definition of the family law act) ... That would justify a NOR along with a contravention application.

There is a clear pattern to us that the mother is purposefully keeping the child home. The child tells us his mother has told him to pretend he has been sick and also says statements such as 'mum will miss me if I go to school 'mum isn't allowed to go to the sports day so i needed to stay home or she wouldn't miss me'.

In addition to the educational neglect this kid is suffering, the above behavior is evidence of psychological harm. Potentially serious harm... No child should be burdened with this kind of conflict & guilt.

I recommend you arrange a psychologist for this kid to talk to.... I think it will help him deal with this crap & It's possible the psych could be called upon later if needs be to write a report that you could enter into evidence should it come to that

 

[Atticus]

Here's a couple of relevant links of interest..

Children of Compulsory School Age – Parental Responsibilities

Next one is a link to the process of enforcing attendance (QLD Dept of education) ... This will give you some information on how it's supposed to be manged so at least you are aware of it when you talk to Head master
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwj1sMPTzabtAhUQyDgGHbL1Dg0QFjAMegQIGRAC&url=http://ppr.det.qld.gov.au/education/management/Procedure%20Attachments/Managing%20Student%20Absences%20and%20Enforcing%20Enrolment%20and%20Attendance%20at%20State%20Schools/processes_attend.doc&usg=AOvVaw1pUwM0LipVYTDRnMkf9rvQ

 

[sammy01]

I'd definately use those links to apply some pressure. Sadly, my experience as a high school teacher in NSW is that very little is done for kids unless DHS has the kid on the radar for some other reason.
But your ex doesn't know that so letting her know that you'll notify the authorities of your concern might be a big enough bluff to get her to do the right thing

 

[JadeGoldCoast]

Thanks for all your responses! We have just sent another email to the child's teacher, we have been waiting on an appointment time to have a chat with both her and the school's wellness teacher and thought it would be best to use this opportunity to put into writing what we would like to discuss; the child's attendance in the mother's care, the child struggling at school and his psychologist requesting a cognitive assessment, that this is the 3rd time we have booked an appointment to discuss the child's attendance this year, that we are concerned the lack of attendance teamed with the child's cognitive abilities is causing the child to fall behind his class - which is of concern to us, whether this is also a concern to his teacher/wellness teacher? Do they think we should be seeking legal advice?

If we cannot get anything in writing from the teacher/wellness teacher we will book an appointment with the principle. Previously we have spoken to the deputy, who knows the child's grandmother well (grandmother has 5 young children - 3 of which are already at the same school) and we feel she was very biased and she basically told us the child's attendance was fine and was our problem. I think speaking to the principle this time will hopefully show our level of concern and hopefully she will not be as biased.

We are thinking of waiting until we have had our meeting with the school before booking mediation. It will be good to know if we have any kind of support from the school.
Also thanks for the advise on seeking a psychologist for the child. We have already contacted the child's clinical psychologist to see if she can recommend a child therapist. We are going to try apply for NDIS for the child. It really is so unfair on him. This weekend he has apologized for not going to school and said he can't help it. I have had 3 separate conversations where I have explained he is 100% not to blame and should not feel guilty, but have also encouraged being honest with his dad as his mother asks him to lie to him. A therapist to help talk these things out will be so beneficial to him.