Just wanted to say to all the parents out there trying to get sole parental responsibility because it IS in the best interests of the child; don’t give up! I see it written so often that it is impossible, but it’s not. After three years in various courts, we got our final order! Sole parental responsibility and no access or contact from the other parent.
My advice for anyone wanting sole parental responsibility:
- Hire a top tier lawyer, you will need their expertise, AND more importantly, their emotional support
- You will need to go to a final hearing, so expect to spend around $100,000
- Keep notes of everything. Over a decades worth of notes, emails and text messages gave me a wealth of evidence
- Always do the right thing, be honest and ensure every communication is about the best interest of your child
- Make sure that your child’s health care providers are able to support your child; the child will need to know and trust them, and you will need them to write reports and speak at court on behalf of your child
- As stressful as this is for you, it is more so for your child. Throughout the process my child felt that no one listened to her; she kept telling the ICL, the family report writer, medical specialists etc the same thing, and then she had to go tell someone else. As much as they all supported her, it was very traumatic to have to keep repeating the same things
- Tell your employer what is happening. In my case my employer was supportive in terms of flexible working hours to fit in with court and legal appointments
- As early as possible, get your case moved to the Family Court, it’s complex and you want an experienced judge with expertise in Family Law. You will burn through cash in the FCC as they will entertain spurious applications. The Family Court won’t.
- Be prepared to put your social life on hold. The case will consume you and your child will need you to be as present as possible
- Organise a network of supportive family members and friends to attend appointments and court dates with you. A second set of ears is important, so is emotional support
- Make sure any appointments your child had to attend, that they have appropriate support.
- Remember, no matter how much of a, ‘win’, the outcome is, no matter how much it follows the child’s wishes, it’s still awful for them. No matter what the other parent has done to them, telling people you never want to see a parent again, AND having a judge decide they can’t see you, has got to be traumatic for a child
- Make sure you engage in quality and ongoing support for your child, they will need it
- Be honest throughout the process. The Family Report Writer, ICL, lawyers and judge are not stupid. When someone is telling lies they know. It’s very obvious when affidavits are full of lies and people can’t keep their stories straight.
The whole process was traumatic, a huge amount of money, (that I have to think of as an investment in my child’s future), and years of our life. But it is possible. I was told early on, by several cheaper lawyers and Legal Aid that we would never get what we were seeking. It was only a bigger, top tier firm that took the time to look at the evidence, and who were prepared to go to a final trial. From day one, they told us that what we were seeking was very unusual BUT, it was a very unusual case, so it was possible.
My advice for anyone wanting sole parental responsibility:
- Hire a top tier lawyer, you will need their expertise, AND more importantly, their emotional support
- You will need to go to a final hearing, so expect to spend around $100,000
- Keep notes of everything. Over a decades worth of notes, emails and text messages gave me a wealth of evidence
- Always do the right thing, be honest and ensure every communication is about the best interest of your child
- Make sure that your child’s health care providers are able to support your child; the child will need to know and trust them, and you will need them to write reports and speak at court on behalf of your child
- As stressful as this is for you, it is more so for your child. Throughout the process my child felt that no one listened to her; she kept telling the ICL, the family report writer, medical specialists etc the same thing, and then she had to go tell someone else. As much as they all supported her, it was very traumatic to have to keep repeating the same things
- Tell your employer what is happening. In my case my employer was supportive in terms of flexible working hours to fit in with court and legal appointments
- As early as possible, get your case moved to the Family Court, it’s complex and you want an experienced judge with expertise in Family Law. You will burn through cash in the FCC as they will entertain spurious applications. The Family Court won’t.
- Be prepared to put your social life on hold. The case will consume you and your child will need you to be as present as possible
- Organise a network of supportive family members and friends to attend appointments and court dates with you. A second set of ears is important, so is emotional support
- Make sure any appointments your child had to attend, that they have appropriate support.
- Remember, no matter how much of a, ‘win’, the outcome is, no matter how much it follows the child’s wishes, it’s still awful for them. No matter what the other parent has done to them, telling people you never want to see a parent again, AND having a judge decide they can’t see you, has got to be traumatic for a child
- Make sure you engage in quality and ongoing support for your child, they will need it
- Be honest throughout the process. The Family Report Writer, ICL, lawyers and judge are not stupid. When someone is telling lies they know. It’s very obvious when affidavits are full of lies and people can’t keep their stories straight.
The whole process was traumatic, a huge amount of money, (that I have to think of as an investment in my child’s future), and years of our life. But it is possible. I was told early on, by several cheaper lawyers and Legal Aid that we would never get what we were seeking. It was only a bigger, top tier firm that took the time to look at the evidence, and who were prepared to go to a final trial. From day one, they told us that what we were seeking was very unusual BUT, it was a very unusual case, so it was possible.
