NSW Giving Ex Sole Parental Responsibility - Repurcussions?

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Permanently Broken

Active Member
3 September 2021

My question is related to my earlier post located here NSW - How do I walk away from parenting proceedings

Trying to obtain access to my children has gotten me no where as she has fought it on all fronts, and due to an ADVO based on false allegations I’ve only been offered an hour phone call a week with one of my children and the same every two weeks with my other child. I had to take her to court to even get that.

Every time supervision goes well it gets pulled a few months later on false allegations directed at the supervisor not doing their job properly or at me for my bad behaviour during the calls. None of which are true.

Also it’s very common to receive a letter from her lawyers stating the children don’t want to speak with me at the 11th hour knowing I can’t give enough notice and end up paying for supervision for nothing.

Its absolutely certain to me that she doesn’t want me anywhere near “her” children, she wants to financial ruin me and that she wants me six foot under.

Shes accomplished the first two and is well on her way with the third.

I can’t fight this anymore and as detailed in my earlier post I’m losing the ability to function on a daily basis and I’m very close to losing my job.

Strategic planning, lies, false accusations, mind games and telling me constantly that my children want nothing to do with me has driven me to a point where I’ve lost everything including my mind.

I can’t handle this anymore and as a father it feels like I’m walking away from my kids, that I could’ve done more and that I shouldn’t be giving up. But I have to realise I can’t win against her, this has destroyed my life, and unless I walk away I won’t be here when my children want to see me.

There are no Parenting Consent Orders or a Binding Child Support Agreement in place as she’s never wanted me to be near the kids.

Im paying the maximum amount of child support through CSA because she’s restricted access and therefore the kids spend no time with me.

On the other hand she’s on Centrelink benefits and is looking at any possible way she can get more money whether it be from Centrelink, CSA or me.

I don’t begrudge paying child support as my children cant grow up in a household where the mother doesn’t want to work (based on excuse after that s use) and who’s sole income comes from Centrelink and from child support.

What I do begrudge is that she withholds my children, alienates them from their father but is more than happy to accept my child support. That’s just disgusting.

I just want to prepare a consent order giving her sole parental responsibility because that’s what she wants and I can’t psychologically tolerate this anymore.

I understand what parenting powers I’m giving away and I’m really struggling with that.

But knowing someone is out to ruin you any way they can I’m sure she’ll explore all the ways she can benefit financially from this consent order if I make one.

If I do prepare a consent order handing over sole parental responsibility what are the negative repercussions for me?

I understand the general parental side of things but I wanted to know what I’m opening myself up to?

Could the consent order be used against me in some way?

Will there be further financial obligations imposed because of my decision to give her sole parental responsibility?

Apologies for typos and grammar as I’m not in a good way.



Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
Sorry for your situation. Look I'd suggest you do nothing. Kinda - See doing nothing answers your question. It ends the struggle. I reckon doing nothing is easier and better. Here is my logic. Right now - everything is a fight. The more you fight, the more she fights, fights, fights... Been there. When I stopped fighting, she stopped fighting. Sure it took a while and my situation isn't exactly like your's but by just waking away it ends - BUT isn't final...

See consent orders are final - bloody hard to change. What if you change your mind later, what if... What if... See there are lots of what if's and by leaving the door open, then those what if's become a possibility.

The other problem is you can't relinquish parental responsibility. It has to be taken from you and for that to happen the ex has to prove that you're one real bad ass... Shared parental responsibility is a presumption - It can only be rebutted If the courts are satisfied that the kids should not be allowed to see you because you're a danger to them. Oh, and relinquishing parental responsibility doesn't get you out of child support. Funny that, you have no parental rights, but you still have to pay pay pay...

My advice - Do nothing. Maybe in a month or two you're attitude will change....

But tell us a bit more about your story - You have supervised visits right now? Are they court ordered? Have you started the court process? or are the supervised visits HER rule? Do you have a lawyer? My advice might change based on your answers.