The father of my baby and I were together a very short time, never lived together, and separated during early pregnancy after a domestic violence incident where he held me against my will in his home, among other things. An ADVO was taken out and there were 3 charges laid, all of which he pled guilty to.
I became aware that he has ongoing mental health issues (Borderline Personality Disorder) and a history of Domestic violence with (a) previous partner(s)?. He also has a child to a previous partner who he has never met.
Contact was minimal throughout the rest of my pregnancy - we had spoken about him spending this time before the baby was due to work on his mental health, seeking help and stabilising himself so that he might be a positive, healthy, stable father figure to the baby.
I was very hopeful, and invited him to the hospital to meet the baby once he was born. It was a short visit, he was understandably emotionally and not able to communicate almost at all. I did not feel it was fair to make a judgement yet on the state of his mental health.
A second visit was arranged when I was at home, and during this visit it was made very clear that his mental health had declined severely. At one point I was worried he might have intentionally thrown my baby whilst he was holding him due to his distress highly emotional state.
Two more visits were arranged (at which I intended to have the conversation about him leaving us be, and getting in touch once he was well) but cancelled by him on both occasions. That same week I recived a letter from his solicitor seeking several things including visitation, birth certificate and parentage testing.
We attended mediation, where I advised I will not discuss any visitation/access arrangements until an independent psychologist can find him to be of sound mind and not a danger to the babies safety or wellbeing.
He has now filed a 60I seeking shared parental responsibilities, spend time arrangements amongst other things.
I have a few questions:
- Can the courts force myself and my son to undergo DNA testing? (I am not asking him for child support, or anything, at all, he is not on the birth certificate)
- Will the courts actually decide it is beneficial for my baby to have a relationship with this unstable, abusive man? Especially when he is currently absolutely thriving in a positive, calm, stable, loving home with his mother?
- Can the courts actually force me to hand over my breastfed baby to a dangerous stranger?
- will the fact that I left the relationship before there was (inevitably) more and more and worse incidents of violence, work against me in court, because I didn't stick around long enough for it to get bad enough and chose instead to get me and my baby out as soon as possible?
- basically what are the chances of him being granted any time with bub if I am absolutely not ok with him spending any time at all with him, is it not obvious that it is in the best interest of the child to avoid contact with this man? He is clearly a danger to his physical, mental and emotional wellbeing, right?
I became aware that he has ongoing mental health issues (Borderline Personality Disorder) and a history of Domestic violence with (a) previous partner(s)?. He also has a child to a previous partner who he has never met.
Contact was minimal throughout the rest of my pregnancy - we had spoken about him spending this time before the baby was due to work on his mental health, seeking help and stabilising himself so that he might be a positive, healthy, stable father figure to the baby.
I was very hopeful, and invited him to the hospital to meet the baby once he was born. It was a short visit, he was understandably emotionally and not able to communicate almost at all. I did not feel it was fair to make a judgement yet on the state of his mental health.
A second visit was arranged when I was at home, and during this visit it was made very clear that his mental health had declined severely. At one point I was worried he might have intentionally thrown my baby whilst he was holding him due to his distress highly emotional state.
Two more visits were arranged (at which I intended to have the conversation about him leaving us be, and getting in touch once he was well) but cancelled by him on both occasions. That same week I recived a letter from his solicitor seeking several things including visitation, birth certificate and parentage testing.
We attended mediation, where I advised I will not discuss any visitation/access arrangements until an independent psychologist can find him to be of sound mind and not a danger to the babies safety or wellbeing.
He has now filed a 60I seeking shared parental responsibilities, spend time arrangements amongst other things.
I have a few questions:
- Can the courts force myself and my son to undergo DNA testing? (I am not asking him for child support, or anything, at all, he is not on the birth certificate)
- Will the courts actually decide it is beneficial for my baby to have a relationship with this unstable, abusive man? Especially when he is currently absolutely thriving in a positive, calm, stable, loving home with his mother?
- Can the courts actually force me to hand over my breastfed baby to a dangerous stranger?
- will the fact that I left the relationship before there was (inevitably) more and more and worse incidents of violence, work against me in court, because I didn't stick around long enough for it to get bad enough and chose instead to get me and my baby out as soon as possible?
- basically what are the chances of him being granted any time with bub if I am absolutely not ok with him spending any time at all with him, is it not obvious that it is in the best interest of the child to avoid contact with this man? He is clearly a danger to his physical, mental and emotional wellbeing, right?
