NSW Minutes of Consent orders

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Jlaa301266

Active Member
11 September 2017
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hello, I have minutes of Consent orders for my daughter. They've been in place since beginning of 2015...
They state if I was "consistently" late in dropping her off at school, it would be reverted back to Friday-Sunday every alternate weekend.. my daughter was late to school twice between the during of two school terms and holidays in between..

well the day before Father's Day TWO years ago, my daughters mother told me that I breached them and she wanted to revert back to Friday-Sunday. In the letter it is dated 2 weeks before she actually gave it to me, she said I needed to sign it so she could take it back to her solicitor. I told her I will not sign it as I didn't agree that I was "consistently" late and she would have to take me back to court if she wanted to change the current orders. She wasn't happy about it. On father's day 2015, she had threatened me that she would call the police and go for full custody of our, now 8 year old, daughter. When I had dropped our daughter off at her mothers house before school, her mother was somewhat hostile towards the both of us about the situation.

Every second Friday when I collect my daughter, she does not have her school gear. Her mother makes her get dressed out of her school clothes and into the clothes I sent her back to her mothers in. Her mother always says "I'll see you on Sunday". When Sunday comes around I tell my daughters mother that I will not meet her as she hasn't changed the court order, and I will bring our daughter to her house in the morning. She always argues and calls the police about it. To which the police say that I do not have to hand our daughter over if the orders state that she is allowed in my care.

Is my daughter's mother in the wrong? I'm sure she is, the papers state on the back that if any changes aren't agreed on, you'll have to go to FDR?
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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oh this is madness.
SO what do the orders say? are you meant to drop the kid off at school on Monday? Are you meant to pick the kid up from school? Is it possible for you to pick the kid up from school?

My thought - write to the ex. Dear ex, I would like you to agree to the following amendment to the parenting arrangements. I would prefer if I pick the child up from school on Friday and return her to school on Monday. Do you agree?

If that fails you have limited options. you could try mediation, but lets face it, you'll be wasting your time. so if there isn't a positive response to the letter, just keep going as you have been... Mate lets face it, your kid is going to quickly realise that there is stupidity here and the stupidity isn't coming from you...

BUT you really should get a diary. Document what is happening. Just in case...
 

Jlaa301266

Active Member
11 September 2017
5
0
31
oh this is madness.
SO what do the orders say? are you meant to drop the kid off at school on Monday? Are you meant to pick the kid up from school? Is it possible for you to pick the kid up from school?

My thought - write to the ex. Dear ex, I would like you to agree to the following amendment to the parenting arrangements. I would prefer if I pick the child up from school on Friday and return her to school on Monday. Do you agree?

If that fails you have limited options. you could try mediation, but lets face it, you'll be wasting your time. so if there isn't a positive response to the letter, just keep going as you have been... Mate lets face it, your kid is going to quickly realise that there is stupidity here and the stupidity isn't coming from you...

BUT you really should get a diary. Document what is happening. Just in case...


Hi Sammy01, thanks for your response.
The current papers state that I am meant to have my daughter from 4:30pm Friday afternoon until Monday morning with me taking her to school. If I was consistently late in taking my daughter to school, the papers would be reverted...

*note: the letter states "I was advised by my solicitor to write a letter that we revert back to original orders of you picking up/returning our daughter at/to my house* {papers don't state that the meeting point is at her house, so kinda thinking the letter is a bit suss? Wouldn't her lawyer know that the meeting point is NOT at her house (as it's stated in one of the orders)? Also wouldn't her lawyer question where the said letter is?}*

Since my ex gave me the letter in September 2015 (Father Day weekend) and was hostile towards me about it, I've attempted for her to let me have our daughter until Monday Morning... this has failed many times and as a result, I've met her on Sunday afternoons (half way between both houses) instead of taking my daughter to school on Monday mornings to avoid a dispute/argument.

She told me that I had to sign the letter (I'm pretty sure it was evidence to go into a "parenting plan" with her about the order) so that she could go back to her solicitor with it. I've still got the letter.

I appreciate the idea of a journal. Since day dot, I've documented everything, in case things go south...
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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so write to ex.
Dear ex,
I would like to resume the Sunday night stay-over. Please advise your preference. Would you prefer I drop daughter off at your house Monday morning, or would you like to provide me with a uniform and I will drop her to school?

how easy was that to solve
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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*note: the letter states "I was advised by my solicitor to write a letter that we revert back to original orders of you picking up/returning our daughter at/to my house*

Hot tip for young players: If her lawyers advised her to write a letter, her lawyer should have written you a letter. If it's coming from her, and not her lawyer, she probably hasn't been advised anything, or more likely, she's been advised that 'consistently' is a subjective term, but by reasonable standards, two late drop-offs is hardly what any ordinary person would call 'consistent'.

Don't sign the letter. Don't sign anything. Tell mum that you're not agreeable to any change to the existing arrangement and if she wishes to argue the definition of 'consistently', then she can do so in front of the Court, but until further orders are made, you will pick the child up at 4:30pm every second Friday and drop the child at school the following Monday, in accordance with the orders.

Best way to avoid an argument? Don't respond when she invites you to argue. Tell her, 'I'll be dropping X off at school on Monday morning in accordance with the orders' and stop responding thereafter.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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720
2,894
nope plan b.... Even better.
Dear ex,
It has been 2 1/2 yrs since consent orders. I would like to sort an agreement for the time the child spend with me to increase to 6 nights a fortnight. In order to sort this, I'd like to suggest we recommence the sunday night stay over and include a weekly thursday night stay at my house too. I'd like to know your thoughts