QLD Mediation

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13 October 2020
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My current partners ex wife organized mediation for herself, didnt tell him that she was organizing this, we just recieved a phone call asking when he would like to book in with the ex's chosen mediation company. and expects us to go along with it into relation of their 4 children. It is $220 per hour, which we cannot afford. We have looked into Centacare and its $35 per hour..but she has declined this. She is on great money while he is an apprentice, and merely cannot afford her chosen mediation, which has given us a time frame cut off point. When she left him they agreed to do 1 week off 1 week on looking after children, and all of a sudden wants mediation which she blind sighted him without disscussing it prior to her setting up mediation, he is willing to do mediation just not with her desired company? Not sure how to sort this out?
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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wow slow down pony... So she inquired about mediation... she didn't kill anyone, nor did she unilaterally decide that the kids would not continue with week about.

So write back and say happy to do mediation with her chosen mediator at her expense and alternatively, happy to do mediation with Centacare. All seems nice easy and fair so far...

BTW how long has 50/50 care been happening?
 
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Rosscoe

Well-Known Member
21 October 2020
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Hi Stacey

There is no obligation to inform the other parent that you wish to enter into mediation. The FDR practitioner once engaged by the other party then has a duty to call your partner and say that mediation has been requested and invite you to participate. You have a choices at this point.

I agree with Sammy - suggest you are happy to go to mediation at her expense and then provide other options too. Perhaps look into a few other mediators that you may want to use that are cheaper or look at centacare. That is a reasonable and fair proposal.

As a side note don't make the mistake of just pitching up at mediation. Make sure you arrive there prepared and focused on what you believe is best for the kids and why. I guess what I am saying is don't get caught off guard.

Have any issues been raised with the current parenting arrangement? The reason I ask is that I would think the reason mediation has been raised is that your partner's ex wants to move away from the week about arrangement.
 
13 October 2020
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Thank you so much..our circumstances have changed now and my partners ex wants to move 4 hours away, with a 10/4 roster, my partner is not happy about this and has no idea what to do?
 

Rosscoe

Well-Known Member
21 October 2020
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HI Stacey

If I were in your shoes I would e-mail your partner's ex (politely) saying you are not in agreement to (1) moving away from the week about arrangement, and (2) that you are not in agreement with relocating the children. Don't panic right now.

The family court states: (Relocation and travel - Family Court of Australia)

If you cannot agree about relocating, you can apply to a court for orders to allow you to move. The Court may not grant permission. The Court will consider the best interests and welfare of the child/ren.

If you move without a court order or without the consent of the other party, a court may require you to return with the child/ren until the case has reached an outcome. If there is a court order in place, you will be breaking the order and the other parent can apply to enforce the current order.

For information about applying to the court see the section If you can’t agree on arrangements.

I
A few questions - What reasons were given for relocation? Have any concerns been raised regarding the week about arrangement? What age are the children? Are there any orders / parenting plans in place right now other than the agreed week about arrangement on separation?
 
13 October 2020
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Hi. My partners ex wants to move away with the kids which are 4, 6, 9 and 12 as her new partner lives there. I dont know how that will work as all children will be at school (the youngest starts next year) the week on week off has been working well and the children seem to be happy at both houses which has been happing for approx 18 months
 

Rosscoe

Well-Known Member
21 October 2020
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It does not sound like there are any "risk" factors to the children and a change from 50/50 to 10/4 would certainly impact your partner's relationship with the kids and his ability to be involved in their day to day lives. If the current arrangement is what you want state this in writing to the mother and that you are not in agreement with relocation.

OR - how about this for a strategy - suggest, than in order to provide continuity for the kids / keep them around their group of friends / allow them to continue at the same school (that BTW they absolutely loooove!) etc etc (I think you get the picture) that you are more than happy to have the kids on 10/4 basis?

If relocation talk persists then it may be a good idea to contact a community legal center and get them to assist in stopping relocation until the matter can be heard by court. In such an instance the relocating parent will have to show good reason as to why relocation should happen. i.e.
 

Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
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Hi. My partners ex wants to move away with the kids which are 4, 6, 9 and 12 as her new partner lives there. I dont know how that will work as all children will be at school (the youngest starts next year) the week on week off has been working well and the children seem to be happy at both houses which has been happing for approx 18 months
If she is serious about relocating you will need to be proactive.... How far is she wanting to move?

If the move becomes imminent, You may want to spend a few dollars to get a solicitor to apply for an emergency injunction to stop relocation pending agreement or court orders
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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yeah make sure you've got your paperwork sorted. Emails to her stating that you don't agree with the planned move. Offer to take the kids full time and offer her alternate weekends. A 10/4 roster seems implausible and unworkable.

Be pro-active. A cautionary tale.... I got a letter from a solicitor advising me the ex was moving 6 hours away and I need to accept her offer to give me half holidays. I declined. I got another letter from solicitor advising me that they'll be applying to court, they will win and I will be forced to pay the ex's court costs... I said NOPE... Happy ending. The ex left the kids with me and now lives 6 hours away....
Lesson - Don't be bullied. With an established history of making 50/50 work you should feel confident that she wont take it to court because any decent solicitor will tell her that her chances of winning are not good.