@rajb first off, i feel for what you are going through. Im no lawyer but can give you my take and experience.
Have you been to court at all yet in this case? Or did she apply in April and your first hesring is in Oct?
Me
> in March 2020 i got an FVIIO issued. Applicant was the cops. Kids were protected persons. I had a few more clauses in mine than you but much of a muchness
> my kids were 3.5yo and not yet 1.5yo
> I represented myself
> i went to court first hearing (april so only a 2 week wait) and got the children removed. Police did not oppose
> the case has since been adjourned and i still have the FVIIO. I will continue to represent myself. Three court appearances (1x kid removed, 2x adjourned). Im back there in Oct.
> i live in Vic
Advice
> police liaison officer said i could see the kids if my ex consented. This was while they were listed as protected persons. He has been a liaison officer primarily of FVOs for 10 years and knows.
> two different cop stations plus a local lawyer (i didnt use them further than the discounted $55 30min session) said i couldnt. So not all cops or lawyers say the same thing and dont assume they are always right.
> Ring the cops. Your local ones. Talk to them. Ask them how you can avoid a breach and see your kid. If the cop says you cant, ask to talk to your local police liaison officer. Even though they arent the apllicant they'll give you advice. Remember, its them rocking up to the scene when your ex cries breach. And as above, i got different responses and answers from different cops and different police stations. Understand what your local cops think. The ones that would likely be arresting you. If they say 'nah mate, you cant see them' but their liaison officer says its ok, then ensure you educate the cops 'oh ok, cause your local police liaison officer said i could if XY and Z occurred. Could you double check this as i dont want to breach my order'. Show the cops you care for your daughter and want to abide by the law. If you hear things you like, ask the cop to email it you. So if you get arrested you can say 'but constable X said it was ok' and if you have that email then youre in a much better position.
> get everything in writing. If you speak to her and she says 'come and grab the kid' and you say sure and rock up you may have the cops there. If she is vindictive she may try this to get you breached. The cops said to me (when i rung as above), if we rock up and you show me a text from her that says 'come over and grab the kids' then they'd drive away and tell her not to do that again. It would also be a mark against her intrigity you have if you need later. It in itsself is nothing, but may help show a pattern of behaviour.
> a good lawyer gave me the following advice which i would do, in my case it was absolutely vital. Write a letter to your ex and her lawyer if she has one. Ask for ALL evidence they intend to use in the case against you. Mention you believe the accusations to be unfounded and baseless. Send them any evidence that may show that either she was an agressor or that you were not an agressor. Ie, a text from her saying 'youre a great dad', 'i know you'd never hurt the kids', etc. Why do this? Because if they proceed all the way and its thrown out based on her having no evidence or due to your evidence, and you had asked for her evidence and shown her yours before trial, then there is a change she'll have to pay some of your legal fees if its withdrawn (ie, she loses). If you dont do this, you have bugger all hope of having any of your fees paid for. If she responds with no evidence, make her sweat your legal fees. That alone may make her withdraw. The local lawyer i first saw is normally $460 per hour. The fact she didnt tell me this simple but vital advice just showed many lawyers are duds.
> Ask for an undertaking as long as the kid is removed. Or try and get the kid removed and then ask for the undertaking. Tbh, i dont know what the best order here is. Basically, an undertaking accepts the conditions of the order with actually having the AVO against your name. If you breach, you can be arrested, go back to court and the AVO could be reistated. I was advised an AVO (FVO) can affect your child custody case once that begins. So my advise would be DO NOT ACCEPT. If you write to her and her lawyer requesting an undertaking, and they go to trial, it again shows your willingness to comply. As i put it in my letter 'as an FVO is not a criminal charge, normally i would have no issue accepting, but due to pending child custody arrangemts, and the fact I have done nothing, and no evidence for the FVO has been provided, I will challenge it all the way but i will accept an undertaking'. Remember, an undertaking gives her the same protections she wants under the AVO but without the black mark of an AVO. As she is the apllicant, it may well save her legal costs and if she is genuinely doing the AVO out of fear she shouldn't have an issue.
> if you have half a brain defend yourself. Rock up to your local magistrates court one day and watch some cases. Gusranteed there will be FVO/AVO cases on. Write down some things the barristers/lawyers say that is either legal jargon, how they approached the judge, or which helped them win. If you dont say 'your honor' then the judge will grease you off and you'll be on the back foot. It was amazing to see how the attitude of defendents influenced the judge (just my opinion). I found some lawyers making big mistakes in understanding the law which were corrected by the judge. Not even I would have made some of these errors. Basically, dont be intimidated. Some of these lawyers doing AVOs graduated 25 years ago and probably done pissy little cases ever since. One lawyer looked like a slob, a s**t suit and totally f****d it. I felt sorry for the dude that paid him. Dont think they know everything or you cant beat them. Sitting in court with a note pad before my cases certainly helped me.
Good luck mate. Hope you get your daughter removed and start to see her again.