You're not gonna like my advice.
Accept without admission. Forget trying to get the order changed so daughter isn't on it.
@rajb .... I'm going to disagree with sammy's advice
I agree with his advice to initiate mediation with an accredited provider such as Relationships Australia, & you should go ahead &
DO THIS NOW, regardless of what you do with the IVO....
Arguments against just accepting with out admissions right from the start.... (unless of course you are in actual fact guilty of FV & therfore pose a threat)
1) This is a private application not a police application....While it carries the same weight in terms of it's restrictions, you will not be facing a police prosecutor (should it reach the stage of a hearing beyond the first mention) If it doe's go that far, you can self represent.... I would NOT be spending money on a lawyer for an IVO defence BAD idea
2) It's early days.... Things may calm down a bit, or perhaps she will shortly come to realize that including the child is going to create more problems than it solves..... By accepting without admission (AWA),at the start, ESPECIALLY as it includes your child as a protected person, you are locking that in as a confirmed IVO.... As a consequence, there will be NO further opportunity to get this back before a court other than you applying for a variation to remove child (more difficult to get as you are going to almost certainly need your ex to agree to it.... Why would she)
3) By AWA with your child named as a protected person, relationships Australia (or any mediation provider or lawyer for that matter) can not make a parenting plan that opposes the restrictions of that order, even if both parents agree.... So your ex would need to apply to court to vary the IVO.. Funny thing with people is when they have opportunity to reflect & talk to friends (females especially take a great deal of notice from friends unfortunately) there is a the very real possibility that she will not seek that variation..... She may offer you to come around & visit the child anyway... You are very tempted because you miss the child.... Long story short, things turn sour again, cops are called, you now face a criminal charge of breaching the order & WILL be facing a police prosecutor..... This can be a great dagger to hang over your ahead to have you accept any amount of abuse or bad behavior on the protected persons part
So my advice is
A) Call a mediation service TODAY. Get that happening, lock in an initial appointment date.... It's something you can then tell the magistrate at the first mention, & gives him/her room to move regarding communication about child because you can demonstrate a path forward already in place... You DON'T want comm restricted to lawyers only..
B) At the first mention, ask that the child's name be removed from the IVO by claiming you are not a present or future risk to the child (nothing in supporting affidavit from her application to suggest you are is there?) .... May be refused, but worth a try
C) You can also propose an undertaking in place of an IVO, but she would have to be present at the first mention & agree to accept that, (but that can also be a later option if things calm down)
By opposing the order (not agreeing with it) at the first mention, doe's NOT mean you are locked into a second court date (a hearing)... fact is, at any stage you can pick up a phone or go to any police station or local court with your interim order & tell them that you have decided to AWA ... you could even do it at the hearing.
Even legal aid recommend that >>>> it is worth going to court to have your say about the conditions of the order, especially if you have children.
SOURCE >>>
Options for dealing with an intervention order | Victoria Legal Aid