NSW I will lose my child today, who can help me?

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10 August 2021
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My 19 month son's parenting interim hearing is to take place today, and I am most likely to lose.
The reason I would lose is because of a report by an expert from the relationspace.
The report do says that I did a very good job as a father of my 2 sons (I have another elder son who is 4 years old and in my sole custody), but the suggestion is still that the little one should live with the mother for much more time than I.
The only reason is that she is a so called primary carer.
I am helpless and desprated, because the mother told all lies on her affidavits and also to the expert who did the observation session.
The alleging of my so called domestic violence to her (not physical, but so called mental) has no evidence, but the expert simply trust everything she said.
She previously restricted me from having enough time with my little son, which made her a "primary carer" who made the little child woke up at 5am in the morning due to her working requirement.
Also, when the child was not able to sleep quickly during the night, she yell to him.
When the child was only 7 month old, she hit on him hardly to punish him because he did not sleep.
Till now, when doing changeovers, I always see my son starving and wearing very dirty and not suitable clothes. The socks are never a pair.
Talked to my solicitor and barrister, but all the answer is that there is no way to test the evidence because it is an interim hearing.
And even in the final hearing, the person who did perjury in a family law court won't be punished by the law. So perjury is nothing important in family law, though I have heap of SMS evidences to prove those are lies.

I am one day off today, staying at home and waiting for the judgement.
Nobody want to talk to me any more, including my lawyers. Because all my findings of the inconsistence of other party's affidavit are not helpful to the case.
And it still need to argue on the court if the other party need to disclose her working and residential details... I maybe never have a chance to know where my son is taken to.

I also don't think the final hearing may change anything because I may have less and less time with my little son.
His elder brother is asking where his little brother is every day, and the little one enjoys his life when he was with us.

How can the legal system running like this? Why there is no way to punish the liars on the court? The persons who tell the truth on the court should be the victims?

I can hardly imagine how the little one will be educated, and what kind of person he will be in the future.
 

GlassHalfFull

Well-Known Member
28 August 2018
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51
2,289
I agree that the system is broken when it takes so long to reach the point where evidence can be tested. And of course by the time you can test the evidence (usually a trial, but sometimes a defended interim hearing?), the other party will have established primary care by default, which is always difficult to reverse because even if the parent had lied to establish that position, what is "in the best interests of the child" is almost always "stability", and as long as that parent pays lip service to the idea of progression of time with the non-resident parent, they aren't considered to be alienating. Alienation, or alternatively strong evidence that the parent is abusive or neglectful, is usually the only way to convince the court to change primary care.

I imagine your lawyer will have pushed for you to have orders to allow you to see your son on some kind of regular regime though, so to to say you will "lose your child" is a bit exaggerated if so. Anyway, I've only seen your post now and from what you've said, the hearing has already occurred but since nobody else has replied, I thought I would put my two cents in. If you want, feel free to update us with the outcome of the hearing.
 
10 August 2021
2
0
1
I agree that the system is broken when it takes so long to reach the point where evidence can be tested. And of course by the time you can test the evidence (usually a trial, but sometimes a defended interim hearing?), the other party will have established primary care by default, which is always difficult to reverse because even if the parent had lied to establish that position, what is "in the best interests of the child" is almost always "stability", and as long as that parent pays lip service to the idea of progression of time with the non-resident parent, they aren't considered to be alienating. Alienation, or alternatively strong evidence that the parent is abusive or neglectful, is usually the only way to convince the court to change primary care.

I imagine your lawyer will have pushed for you to have orders to allow you to see your son on some kind of regular regime though, so to to say you will "lose your child" is a bit exaggerated if so. Anyway, I've only seen your post now and from what you've said, the hearing has already occurred but since nobody else has replied, I thought I would put my two cents in. If you want, feel free to update us with the outcome of the hearing.

Thank you for your reply, it is really appreciated for such a long reply.

The judge is doing a very good job to the child, at least till this moment. His honour ordered the parties to have an informal round table meeting to try to sort it out. And he does not really want to focus on the only paragraph which benefits the liar but want to see a whole and long term picture of the child's future.

The meeting will take place next week, and hopefully a consent can be reached.

Will post an update here if there is anything worth to share.

Thanks again for your reply.
 

GlassHalfFull

Well-Known Member
28 August 2018
544
51
2,289
Well that sounds like a very positive (and reasonable) step for you. I've noticed in general that there has been a bit of a push from the courts towards mediation lately. I suspect it's because the courts are getting overrun with cases and can't manage them properly.