VIC Going Overseas - Seek Family Court Orders?

[Vivek Sharma]

Hi,

I want to go overseas for 3 weeks. Me and my ex do not have a parenting plan in place yet. I have asked for her permission to take our child with me which she refused, fair enough. But she is not allowing me to go as she does not want to look after him the 3 days my child is with me every week.

She wants me to setup a care arrangement for my child while I am away. Do I have any obligation in that, or can I seek family court orders which allow me to go while she has to look after my child?

Please help.

 

[Rod]

She can't stop you going overseas and you don't need court orders.

Real question here is whether it is wise to go overseas and I can't answer that because it depends on attitudes, both yours and hers.

You could say stuff you, I'm going. Then you need to think about possible consequences. You have no parenting plan in place so she could decide to just keep your child 100% of the time until you get court orders saying otherwise.

Sometimes you need to make sacrifices for your children, and this may be one of those times. Only you know the answer.

 

[AllForHer]

Imagine you are a genuine single parent, that is, the other parent is completely absent. What would you do?

If I was going abroad and couldn't take the child with me, I'd organise alternative care for the child, or I wouldn't go. Simple.

 

[sammy01]

Hang on folks... at least one of you have jumped to a value judgement... Legal forum, legal question.

Can she stop you? No. And you have given her an alternative to her having the kid while you are away... You were prepared to take too.

Further. With no court orders then there is no legal reason. But I do agree with rod... if family law crap is pending. This might not be the best time...

Btw you do have a parenting plan of sorts... clearly there is an agreement that you have the kid 3 days a week. Btw - does that include overnights?

Ok so what if you offer to pay the additional child care while away? Assuming you can get a place on short notice.

 

[sammy01]

Oops... one or two more things....

If he was a 'genuine single parent' (yuck, don't like that phrase) he would just take the kid and not have to compromise...

My thoughts... Give her 2 options:

1 . Let the kid come with you

2. Accept that you're going and give her the option to give you make up time when it best suits her... So suggest that at some point down the track she is going to want you to look after the kid so she can do stuff.

Fair enough so far.... So as long as she gives you 2 weeks notice (seems reasonable), you agree to take the kid so she can have a holiday, or what ever

 

[Corinne]

If it were me I'd set up care arrangement for the child while you're away. If there are no orders, you're not obliged to do anything but it's in your best interest to keep on the good side of the primary carer.

I'd suggest that when you get back, have your arrangements with the child formalised by way of consent orders.

 

[MartyK]

Parenting plan orders the child is in your care for 3 days per week. You need someone to care for the child on those 3 days of your usual time. You asked the mother and she has declined. As such it is your responsibility, given you have usual responsibility for the child during that period, to arrange alternate care.

If you cannot what do you propose should happen? If mum wanted to go away, asked you and you said no, and had no one else to care for the child what would she do? Leave the child at home alone? Raising a child is a 2 way street!

 

[sammy01]

He did offer to take the child...

 

[MartyK]

He did offer to take the child...

I do realise that sammy, but, just as a parent cannot (should not) expect that the other parent will be 'child minder' on their time (if the other parent does not agree to it) nor too can (should) a parent make arrangements with the child falling during the other parents time (without agreement). Unfortunate circumstances, yes, but when parents separate, it is what it is!

Would it be worth taking this to Court? Up to OP. He'd need to understand though that taking this to Court could result in full blown parenting proceedings i.e. not confined to him just wanting to travel. Can of worms? Maybe.