NSW Family Law - How to Keep Child Safe?

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Duffy

Member
12 May 2018
3
0
1
Hi all,

My son is 3 years old and I have grave fears for his future.

His father is a very heavy disciplinarian. Screams at him for as little as spilling his drink, "You useless c**t of a kid, how f***ing hard is it! You do it every f***ing night!".

In situations where our son has ignored or acted rebellious to his screaming he's tried to smack him. Twice, I have ran and got our son before his father got to him and his father yells "If your mother wasn't here I'd smack the f**k out of you!". He's also blocked me from removing power tools from the use of our 3-year-old son and has put our son in many other unsafe situations. He's very neglectful.

His father has another son who is 11 years old. Last school holidays I caught him with his hand in my son's underwear, followed later in the week by my 3-year-old son trying to put his finger in my arsehole and telling me "Mum, lay down, I want to put my finger in your bum".

I told the boys' father and he said I had no proof and to drop it immediately. I told the grandparents and they returned the older boy to South Australia, to his mother. I told the police and reported to FACS helpline. JIRT was very concerned for my son's safety and I confessed I was very scared for my safety as well. JIRT said if the offender was 12, and not 11 years old, he would have been charged. If the older boy remained in NSW, CAMS counseling would have been mandatory but it had to be referred to SA, where the mother declined counseling for her son. Their father refused to talk to JIRT.

Without the father's cooperation, the case was passed to FACS. I told my partner to talk to FACS and he refused. The case was referred to Mission Australia and my partner has refused to talk to them either; he said it wouldn't be in the 11 year old's best interest. Mission Australia said they don't know how to help my son and I.

The 11-year-old is returning to NSW very soon for a visit to his grandparents. With which I feel very pressured for time. The rest of the family is in complete denial that the 11-year-old has done anything wrong and are desperate for these half-brothers to have a "normal" relationship, with which I don't feel they'd provide the level of supervision required.

I'm too scared to leave this relationship, as by staying I have my son 99% of the time to protect him. I'm still terrified of this 1% of the time, if his father decided to have the boys without me for a hour, a day, a weekend....

What else can I do to protect my son under Family Law? I feel like I have to wait for him to be badly hurt and it's killing me.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,152
720
2,894
Nope.
But you need to leave. Simple.
Sorry to be so blunt. But how can it be a good place for the kid to live?
You need to work out how to leave. What possible reasons are there to stay?
 
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Duffy

Member
12 May 2018
3
0
1
The problem with just up and leaving is the "children have the right to a meaningful relationship with both parents" which my partner seems like a nice person in public, With barely any criminal history to his name. If I have to share custody, my son is subject to his abuse and possibly the abuse of his half brother too. He'd spend more time with him through court orders than he actually does now.

How can I give evidence of the verbal and mental abuse when filming it would be "making assumptions". What reliable proof could be used in court? It's just my word against his....
 

nat 2015

Well-Known Member
8 February 2017
162
5
419
The problem with just up and leaving is the "children have the right to a meaningful relationship with both parents" which my partner seems like a nice person in public, With barely any criminal history to his name. If I have to share custody, my son is subject to his abuse and possibly the abuse of his half brother too. He'd spend more time with him through court orders than he actually does now.

How can I give evidence of the verbal and mental abuse when filming it would be "making assumptions". What reliable proof could be used in court? It's just my word against his....
Children also have a right to feel safe and free from any kind of abuse.you could ask for visits to be at a contact centre that is supervised, ask him to attend post separation counselling(dont like your chances thou) and he doesnt have to agree, you are just going to have make the decision based on best interests of your child.
 

nat 2015

Well-Known Member
8 February 2017
162
5
419
Children also have a right to feel safe and free from any kind of abuse.you could ask for visits to be at a contact centre that is supervised, ask him to attend post separation counselling(dont like your chances thou) and he doesnt have to agree, you are just going to have make the decision based on best interests of your child.
My ex was the same, people like that do eventually come unstuck.