QLD Family Court Orders Preventing Me from Reporting Abuse to Police?

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Ataloss

Active Member
11 April 2017
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My 14-year-old rang me today and told me his father hit him in his face. His father and I have orders in place for shared care and custody of children. Father has a diagnosed personality order, and the orders restrict me from going to the police or children services without the permission of the family court first.

His father and I don't get along. My son has been hit before by his father. I've tried to explain to my son that it's only another four years and to try and not upset his father. I've also tried to explain that his father is the way he because of his personality disorder (diagnosed around 2008 or 2009 with Personality Disorder - Other). However this is the first time my son has told me of being hit in the face. He has told his grandparents (father's side) - nanna didn't do anything, poppa said to father 'don't hit him' but that's never stopped him before.

I've been trying to find something online to guide me but nothing is helping. My son is old enough to choose where he wants to live but the family court orders are there. He's being hit in the face but I'm hamstrung with orders as to being able help him. I've explained how the orders stop me from reporting it.

Can my son choose to stay with me despite the orders and since he's not safe there, and what are the ramifications if he does stay?
 

Lance

Well-Known Member
31 October 2015
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Hi,

The only reason I could imagine the court putting an order in place restricting a parent from reporting an assault to the police or children services is if that communication has been abused in the past. In any case I would apply for interim orders as a means to immediately address the situation. Applying to the Court for orders - Family Court of Australia

Please be very certain of what you are doing, false allegations will get you in serious trouble.
You probably need to speak with a lawyer and discuss the Magellan process as a means to have immediate orders put in place to protect your son. They can also appoint an independent children's lawyer.

Child abuse allegations - Family Court of Australia
 
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MartyK

Well-Known Member
4 June 2016
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Hi,
The only reason I could imagine the court putting an order in place restricting a parent from reporting an assault to the police or children services is if that communication has been abused in the past.

This and if there have been multiple unsubstantiated reports. Sorry, I realise the Court doesn't always "get it right" but there must be a reason for these restrictions. Perhaps if you could bring some more light as to how these came to be?
 
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Ataloss

Active Member
11 April 2017
7
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31
Hi,
The only reason I could imagine the court putting an order in place restricting a parent from reporting an assault to the police or children services is if that communication has been abused in the past. In any case I would apply for interim orders as a means to immediately address the situation. Applying to the Court for orders - Family Court of Australia
Please be very certain of what you are doing, false allegations will get you in serious trouble.
You probably need to speak with a lawyer and discuss the Magellan process as a means to have immediate orders put in place to protect your son. They can also appoint an independent children's lawyer.
Child abuse allegations - Family Court of Australia
 

Ataloss

Active Member
11 April 2017
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31
Background: Back in around 2007 or 2008, my 4-year-old daughter told me something about her father and touching things that I rang the police. Children's services govt agency got involved. I get left running the whole court battle with no support from anywhere and he got diagnosed with a Personality Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified and was considered redeemed.

Roughly 6-12 months after that and my daughter tells me that there have been pull-down-pants games. I reported it again. Bigger battle, left to fend for my children again. Because I had not consented to invasive procedures to be done on my daughter, although the children services govt dept demanded it, and eventually it had to be done, the judge said that was in my favour so that the children weren't taken away from me and my care totally. And for all that, I got hit with a 'get permission to do anything in the future' punishment. That was early 2011. So I'm sure you can understand my fear and skepticism about going back to court.

I realise that for children at ages 4 or so that it is pretty confronting to have to talk about this stuff to strangers. My son just clammed up, at times wouldn't even talk unless he had his Woody mask on, and Woody was doing the talking. I'm not prepared to chance it that whilst my 14-year-old son will tell me what's going on with his father, that he won't repeat it to strangers, the courts, police etc if I commence an action and I'll be left with no children and my children will have no protection at all.

That's why I tell my son about the court order, that I can't help him, if he wants things to change he has to stand up for himself and speak to authorities. Which then takes me back to my original question - can he make his own choices about where he can choose to live even with the court order in place and what are the ramifications of his choices?
 

Lance

Well-Known Member
31 October 2015
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Hi,

That paints a picture. Ok I can appreciate your concern. I'm a father of 5 and would do anything to protect them. the Family Law Act 1975 allows the court to consider a child's opinion if the child is old enough and mature enough to understand what is being asked of them. Usually children over the age of 12 are considered old enough but the court has considered the views of children younger. They usually ascertain the child's view through an independent children lawyer.
 

Ataloss

Active Member
11 April 2017
7
0
31
Lance, what can my son do? If he doesn't want to go to his dads as per the orders, can he stay with me or do I have to push him out the door because of the orders? Regardless of what is happening at his dad's place. If he does stay with me and against the orders, what happens to us both? I'm not starting (or risking) a court action, I need to be here for my children. And I need sleep now for work tomorrow, so I'll get back to any responses tomorrow if there are any.

Thanks,
 

MartyK

Well-Known Member
4 June 2016
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794
Agree with what Lance has said.

But, I'm going to add something in here. You have restrictions on reporting? You have 2 children who you potentially hold concerns for? You have said that you do not wish to return to Court?

If you continue to hold concerns for both your son and your daughter, how does preventing /asssisting your 14 year old son from seeing his father, when you will not take Court action for both of your kids, assist your 4 year old daughter, who could prospectively wind up visiting her allegedly abusive father, on her own?
 

Ataloss

Active Member
11 April 2017
7
0
31
Morning Marty, not quite sure I follow you. I think you may have misunderstood. My daughter was 4 when she said all this back at the start. The twins (boy and girl) are now 14. The daughter has no complaints about her father. She backs my son in details, but is more easygoing than her brother and isn't targetted these days by her father.

Between the courts and his diagnosis and the twins, there's been no more mention of the earlier misconduct and my daughter is not one able to keep secrets. Plus these days, between my talking to them about safety and the school promoting safe and un-safe behaviours, they know that the earlier stuff with their father is not on. He wouldn't risk it again. But my son is clashing with his father, his father's 'my way or the highway' attitude and his personality disorder (or PD from hereon) issues are at play here and my son is copping it physically.

I had thought that when I had heard from the children that my son was being hit, that it was just teenager/discipline behaviour/reaction and that 'hit' = 'smack', although thankfully my son doesn't talk to me the way he does to his father. And I've heard the phone calls between those two and seen the hangups from this end.

Yesterday's phone call from my son about being hit in the face - it's escalating between them. And that was just and all over my son not wanting to try on more clothes at a shop. According to my son, he was getting changed in a shop cubicle, his father came in with more clothes to try on, my son refused to and got hit for it. His sister and grandparent were in the main part of the store, he told his grandparents - not much help there (first post).

I know I need to protect him but I am not risking another court battle and loss (I'm not going to repeat may last posts again, it's all there).

Please. If my son makes the decision to stay with me, against the orders for the times he is to be with his dad (remember, equal shared care), are there going to be ramifications for us and what are they?

I will be telling my son this, he needs to know and understand. He wants to stay with me now but I have told him we will talk about it when he comes back after Easter. I need to know where he and I stand before that.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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I don't believe you... But don't worry I don't believe anyone.

So with that in mind - let me tell you how this could play out. You go back to court, for this, or for that matter for anything pertaining to the kids. Judge decides you're the problem not him. Lets face it, there is now an established track record of you making allegations and up till now them being proven false...

So judge makes a decision... What if that decision is to give dad sole care and sole legal parental responsibility...?