WA Family Court - Getting Equal Time with Kids?

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sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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693
2,894
Yup what he said... my kids now live with me 80%of the time...she packed it in and dumped them. Not bad for a bloke who was not allowed overnights without my mum present.... and the youngest was 4 when she dumped them....
2 bits of advice
1-keep your eyes on the prize.... the prize? Maximum time with kids. Trivial arguments about this and that are her best weapon.
2- now you understand the game play smart... my ex would come to change overs check the kids hair incase they got knits from me.. all sorts of crap. So let me give you an example. Text message from her.'my children got knits when at your house'

Now i could argue that they are OUR children. I could argue that the knits didnt come from me..... OR. Respond 'if the kids have knits i will wash all bedding and towels at my house. I suggest you do the same. Please provide me with the reciept for any anti-knit treatment and i will pay half. Please let me know if i can be of further assistance.' This stuff can send u crazy. I was almost going to start taking kids to the doctor to get their hair checked before returning them to mum. But if i did that i would be letting her get to me....
Mate my ex went bonkers trying to get me to bite. She was audio recording every change over and sadly for her all those recordings showed is that i am a saint....
 

nat 2015

Well-Known Member
8 February 2017
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5
419
I have kept a diary but not emailed it so does that mean it won't be heard in the courts my ex is very clever
 

Cairnsdad

Well-Known Member
10 January 2016
42
10
149
Hi nat,

I am not too sure who you think you should have emailed it to?

Your diary is only used as written evidence in a trial to back up your version of events if they differ from your ex's. It is basically letting the judge know that when you explain your side of anything that you have taken the time to write it down when it occurred as opposed to 'verbalising' a scenario from perhaps years before which a Judge won't put a lot of weight into.
My diary was crucial to winning in the trial vs an ex who was a compulsive liar. For example at handovers at the local McDonald's I would arrive early and buy a coffee and keep the receipt in my diary as this was evidence that I was always there and was always early. Screen shots in my diary of the times when I tried to call my boys on designated nights several times and were never answered.
Both of the above were actually used in our trial when my ex claimed under testimony that I was unreliable at handovers and would also not regularly call my boys when I was supposed to. Suffice to say I won.

My ex never knew I kept a diary, she clearly didn't keep one and it was one of the best pieces of advice I got early on. In a funny way it actually helped empower me during the long process because there are many times when you feel like you are always being nice and always losing when your ex wants to win at all costs but knowing that your diary at some point will add credibility to your approach to the process and reinforce you kept calm while putting the kids first made me feel better.

Cheers
 
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nat 2015

Well-Known Member
8 February 2017
161
5
419
Sorry I read it wrong I have kept a diary but not all the time, my ex is a compulsive liar as far to say my children hate me, which is hurtful to say the least
 

nat 2015

Well-Known Member
8 February 2017
161
5
419
Hi nat,

I am not too sure who you think you should have emailed it to?

Your diary is only used as written evidence in a trial to back up your version of events if they differ from your ex's. It is basically letting the judge know that when you explain your side of anything that you have taken the time to write it down when it occurred as opposed to 'verbalising' a scenario from perhaps years before which a Judge won't put a lot of weight into.
My diary was crucial to winning in the trial vs an ex who was a compulsive liar. For example at handovers at the local McDonald's I would arrive early and buy a coffee and keep the receipt in my diary as this was evidence that I was always there and was always early. Screen shots in my diary of the times when I tried to call my boys on designated nights several times and were never answered.
Both of the above were actually used in our trial when my ex claimed under testimony that I was unreliable at handovers and would also not regularly call my boys when I was supposed to. Suffice to say I won.

My ex never knew I kept a diary, she clearly didn't keep one and it was one of the best pieces of advice I got early on. In a funny way it actually helped empower me during the long process because there are many times when you feel like you are always being nice and always losing when your ex wants to win at all costs but knowing that your diary at some point will add credibility to your approach to the process and reinforce you kept calm while putting the kids first made me feel better.

Cheers
So can I ask what arrangements you have in place and how long did it take to sort out
 

Cairnsdad

Well-Known Member
10 January 2016
42
10
149
Ok so my legal situation was particularly protracted by my ex as a tactic because she was using Legal Aid and I was paying for legal representation so her theory was I would run out of money at some point (which was true and I nearly did after close to $40k) and therefore she would win. It took 2 years and 8 months until final orders were approved because of this but there was at least 12 months wasted due to her ability to play the system. False DV claims which got quashed (3 months), she didn't turn up at 2 court mentions without prior warning (medical certificate with a migraine phoned in at the time our mention was listed, 5 months), she ran away with my sons to Melbourne (3 months to get them all back to Nth Qld).

End result, all I ever asked for was 50/50 of my two sons but she continually refused and only wanted me to have 2-3 days a fortnight (she was/is on the dole so was financially motivated). I easily got 50/50 at the trial for the final orders and in fact even ended up getting a stern talking to by the Judge as to why I didn't ask for more custody given the conduct of my ex and she openly indicated she would have granted it (poor legal advice in hindsight).

That was 2 years ago, today my sons live with me 100% and have done for over 18 months, she just up and left with a boyfriend one night and hasn't returned since and the only way I knew was the school ringing me one Monday afternoon as she hadn't picked them up.

There is still the original final orders in place and my sons hear from her roughly every 6 weeks via a text to my phone.
 

nat 2015

Well-Known Member
8 February 2017
161
5
419
ml. I am starting to wonder if I am doing anything right, I have no orders in place and I am at the beginning my boys don't want 50/50 they are 13 and 14 I was just ready to sign off and move forward and save any drama, I also have a 19 month old too
 

nat 2015

Well-Known Member
8 February 2017
161
5
419
I guess what I mean is do I go against my boys wishes and just agree, part of me would feel like I have let them down.
 

Been2Trial

Well-Known Member
12 July 2017
99
18
354
IMO you're better off getting the 50/50 custody order (especially for the 18mo one) and you have your orders to fall back on should it be required at any point in the future.
 

Patience

Well-Known Member
17 June 2017
20
0
126
Ok so my legal situation was particularly protracted by my ex as a tactic because she was using Legal Aid and I was paying for legal representation so her theory was I would run out of money at some point (which was true and I nearly did after close to $40k) and therefore she would win. It took 2 years and 8 months until final orders were approved because of this but there was at least 12 months wasted due to her ability to play the system. False DV claims which got quashed (3 months), she didn't turn up at 2 court mentions without prior warning (medical certificate with a migraine phoned in at the time our mention was listed, 5 months), she ran away with my sons to Melbourne (3 months to get them all back to Nth Qld).

There is still the original final orders in place and my sons hear from her roughly every 6 weeks via a text to my phone.

Hi Cairnsdad was it hard getting the false DV claims quashed? I was recently slapped with a VRO even though there was never any form of violence whatsoever..