WA Family Court - Getting Equal Time with Kids?

[Cairnsdad]

I guess what I mean is do I go against my boys wishes and just agree, part of me would feel like I have let them down.

nat your 13 n 14 year old are certainly mature enough where their desires should be considered by both parents as likely the court would at their age. Ultimately it isn't their decision though as that is their parents job or failing that the court, the pressure of making them decide such a big life choice at their age shouldn't rest with them and they perhaps need to know that. I know you said you are worried about going against them but I can tell you as a male who once many moons ago a 13-14 boy we should rarely be allowed to achieve our desires with parental guidance lol.
The big issue is understanding why they wouldn't want to spend 50/50 with their father and mother, this is more of a soul searching thing for you and might mean you need to send them to talk to a professional who specialises in teens going through a family break up. It is possible for example they are saying that due to wanting to protect you thinking you might not handle the time apart as well as dad would. It could be that mum is a push over and lets them do things dad doesn't. It could be they have overheard you saying things about their father and what he has said or done to you and that has shaped their opinion.
I am certainly not saying that's the case with you but there just some thoughts.
The reality is it's likely you have a low opinion of their father at the moment but ultimately he is still their dad.
I am guessing the 19 month old has the same father, if so that is a totally different scenario as it's very unlikely he will get 50/50 of him/her until they are around 3 yrs old but just as important that they bond with their father.

 

[Cairnsdad]

Hi Cairnsdad was it hard getting the false DV claims quashed? I was recently slapped with a VRO even though there was never any form of violence whatsoever..

Ok, as you can imagine it was not straightforward and it certainly wasn't cheap. The first reaction of probably everyone who has been falsely accused is a burning desire to prove it is BS and clear their name. That's where the process isn't straightforward and it feels like you are going backwards before moving forwards. There are many things that can be used to trigger a DV claim under the guise of physical or emotional abuse so understanding how the law is applied is the first step as you may have actually committed an offence inadvertently by simply saying during a handover.
In my case it was triggered from a text message reply where she had drunk text me in the early hours one day several months after we separated the usual slurring apology that only drunk people seem to be able to do. I replied telling her to 'f*ck off and leave me alone and stop texting me'. 2 weeks later I was in court defending a DV order against me for aggressive language towards her via a carrier service where she didn't even appear because her Legal Aid lawyer said she was too scared for her safety.
I had to swallow my pride and agree to an interim order until a date could be set down 10 weeks later so I could still see my sons with a supervisor during that time. Of course when it came to her presenting evidence it was thrown out because by her using one text as evidence allowed my lawyer to introduce lots of her texts which were much more explicit so in the context it was quashed.
I lost the costs order though so it cost me $6k in the end for 2 court appearances plus all the meetings etc with my lawyer.

 

[nat 2015]

nat your 13 n 14 year old are certainly mature enough where their desires should be considered by both parents as likely the court would at their age. Ultimately it isn't their decision though as that is their parents job or failing that the court, the pressure of making them decide such a big life choice at their age shouldn't rest with them and they perhaps need to know that. I know you said you are worried about going against them but I can tell you as a male who once many moons ago a 13-14 boy we should rarely be allowed to achieve our desires with parental guidance lol.
The big issue is understanding why they wouldn't want to spend 50/50 with their father and mother, this is more of a soul searching thing for you and might mean you need to send them to talk to a professional who specialises in teens going through a family break up. It is possible for example they are saying that due to wanting to protect you thinking you might not handle the time apart as well as dad would. It could be that mum is a push over and lets them do things dad doesn't. It could be they have overheard you saying things about their father and what he has said or done to you and that has shaped their opinion.
I am certainly not saying that's the case with you but there just some thoughts.
The reality is it's likely you have a low opinion of their father at the moment but ultimately he is still their dad.
I am guessing the 19 month old has the same father, if so that is a totally different scenario as it's very unlikely he will get 50/50 of him/her until they are around 3 yrs old but just as important that they bond with their father.

Yeah your right, our children unfortunately have witnessed DV, and your right I need to do a lot of soul searching, I have always supported them having a relationship with him, he has organised our boys to talk to someone as he wouldn't allow me to do it he wanted it with someone his family knew, I have informed the school etc about the situation and they have kept an eye on them, I don't doubt it's been hard on them at all, I do have a low opinion of him your right.
At the end of the day I just want what is best for them.

 

[nat 2015]

IMO you're better off getting the 50/50 custody order (especially for the 18mo one) and you have your orders to fall back on should it be required at any point in the future.

My 19 month old is still breastfed and his not interested in her a whole lot so I will be asking 60/40 and with her 50/50 when she starts school,