We had the family report writer interview both me and the ex husband who has taken me to court over where the children live. Currently the children spend 40% of their time with him. He insists he should have 50%. The memo from the family report writer is that the current arrangements continue for now which is what I think is best. The memorandum states that he made a number of allegations (that are clearly false and he has no evidence to support) at his interview including that I have a problem with alcohol and mental health issues that affect parenting. There were other false allegations as well. My question is will is false allegations backfire on him? Do judges and their associates generally see through the false allegations as the family report writer did? How do his false allegations help/ hinder his case? I am very happy to have any blood tests or doctors reports to show that they are false if it comes to that.
ACT False allegations
- Thread starter sally234
- Start date
stress less. Innocent until proven guilty. He has to prove that you're a risk. This sort of mud slinging is poor form in family law and generally backfires. Clearly it has back fired in this case because the recommendations are for the current 40% to continue.
How is he going to answer this question... So dad, mum is a hazard? why are you only raising this now? Why have you not done more to protect the kids from this harmful person?
He has shot himself in the foot.
Solution? do nothing... Or buy him a bottle of win from the kids for father's day.... I personally give my ex a mug every mother's day. Well the kids give it to her, and a box of chocolates. The mug? because a mug is colloqual for an idiot. It is my inside joke. And the chocolates, well the kids see me being nice to mum but again it is my little joke. She made accusations that i was abusive blah blah. So my response is to do something nice for her. Tell me again how I was abusive? FFS.
Lesson for you. Smile and nod. Stay calm.
How is he going to answer this question... So dad, mum is a hazard? why are you only raising this now? Why have you not done more to protect the kids from this harmful person?
He has shot himself in the foot.
Solution? do nothing... Or buy him a bottle of win from the kids for father's day.... I personally give my ex a mug every mother's day. Well the kids give it to her, and a box of chocolates. The mug? because a mug is colloqual for an idiot. It is my inside joke. And the chocolates, well the kids see me being nice to mum but again it is my little joke. She made accusations that i was abusive blah blah. So my response is to do something nice for her. Tell me again how I was abusive? FFS.
Lesson for you. Smile and nod. Stay calm.
Can I jump in here too please. I’ve just experienced the same with my ex husband. We had a short form child inclusive conference, he has raised numerous allegations about my eating (I have always been a small woman), alcohol abuse and an apparent undiagnosed mental health issues. Understanding Sammy that the burden is on him to prove it, is there anything I can do to put it to bed at our next hearing as opposed to this being an ongoing mudslinging match?
The report writer recommended the arrangements remain as is but a further family report be undertaken.
The report writer recommended the arrangements remain as is but a further family report be undertaken.
ok EX WIFE? YOU have a solicitor? I'm assuming yes. So Sure you could direct solicitor to attack these allegations and the solicitor might even do it.... But solicitor will charge you for all the work involved in unproving something that is yet to be proven... Now I want you to read the last bit until it sinks in. You're gonna spend money unproving something that is yet to be proven.... Does that sound dumb to you? Sounds dumb to me...
Gold bless family law is stressful. It makes people over think stuff. BTW trying to 'unprove' is just making it a mudslinging match, because your 'unproving' will be matched by his attempts as 'proving'. BUT family law isin't about proof. It isin't criminal law / innocent or guilty proof. It is about best interest of the child. Make that your focus. Let him sling mud and you sling grace and honesty... I know which one will win everytime.
Gold bless family law is stressful. It makes people over think stuff. BTW trying to 'unprove' is just making it a mudslinging match, because your 'unproving' will be matched by his attempts as 'proving'. BUT family law isin't about proof. It isin't criminal law / innocent or guilty proof. It is about best interest of the child. Make that your focus. Let him sling mud and you sling grace and honesty... I know which one will win everytime.
Thanks Sammy, I do have a solicitor with whom I’m due to catch up with next week to talk over next steps. I agree that trying to disprove something that hasn’t been proven would be a costly exercise. I am quite taken aback at the allegations, as some were irrelevant to children (ie. allegations of cheating) and it sounds very much like he went to town on me. It seems to be quite an adversarial process and I feel I’m consistently copping blows while keeping myself together which can be quite draining!
Thank you for responding.
Thank you for responding.
Actually family law is designed (in theory) to not be adversarial. Hence the no fault divorce laws for example. BUT if one party wants to be adversarial, let him...... Let him waste money on getting a solicitor to make allegations of cheating. BIG deal. Even if you had an affair with his mum, dad and brother it would not matter in family law. Not unless the children were impacted by it...
So realise this, the more mud he slings the more he is actually helping your cause because he is not focussing on how to best co-parent the kids post separation.
So realise this, the more mud he slings the more he is actually helping your cause because he is not focussing on how to best co-parent the kids post separation.
I wouldn’t go on the attack either - you both come across the same then. I wouldn’t do nothing either though - CDT/liver function test, annexed in your next affidavit with short and to the point paragraph - I do not misuse alcohol. Pathology report of CDT/LFT test undertaken xx reported results ‘not indicative of excessive alcohol consumption’. Done. Move on.
The reason why I disagree with Helen about getting a liver function test.
1. If the court doesn't order the test - the court doesn't care about it.
2. Dr Google tells me 1/3 of Aussies have a fatty liver. For some of us it is one to many sausages at Bunnings
3. Alcohol is a legal substance in Australia. Our countries first currency was Rum.
Stop trying to 'unprove'. Back in the day, I had my affidavit prepared. The short (funny version). Bloody oath I drank too much, if you lived with her you'd be driven to drink too....
1. If the court doesn't order the test - the court doesn't care about it.
2. Dr Google tells me 1/3 of Aussies have a fatty liver. For some of us it is one to many sausages at Bunnings
3. Alcohol is a legal substance in Australia. Our countries first currency was Rum.
Stop trying to 'unprove'. Back in the day, I had my affidavit prepared. The short (funny version). Bloody oath I drank too much, if you lived with her you'd be driven to drink too....
I’m not referring to a fatty Liver. Tests notes is a combination of a CDT and Liver Function Test. CDT for detection of carbohydrate deficient transferrin and Liver Test for GCT snd MCV. Tests provide results that either supports or does not support excessive alcohol intake, with a test period of approximate 2 weeks prior to sample collection
I agree with Helen, get the test.
It becomes a good way to attack his credibility (ie he was wrong about drinking = likely to be wrong about other allegations)
It becomes a good way to attack his credibility (ie he was wrong about drinking = likely to be wrong about other allegations)
Similar threads
