VIC Cross application and child custody

[Howcanthisbe]

Hi. I am a male. My wife has bipolar disorder and has consequently been angry and abusive to myself and my children for several years. I have done my best so that she could get better and we could be a happy family. However, due to what I can only believe to be fear from what she has done, she has placed an interim order against myself of which the children are listed. The police have adopted the case. In response, I have filed a cross application, of which I have undeniable evidence of her abuse. All I want is for the children to be safe, and for me to be able to see them. I'm in Victoria and have no faith in the court system considering I am a male. If she rejects mediation I feel that my only other option is family court/getting parental orders in place. My main question is how much does family law tend to cost? If i made and initial application for family law, is that likely to change her mind in regards to custody, or do I have to go through the whole process (quoted 40k to me). Are there any other options, particularly considering I have a cross application and that my allegations are much stronger and more evidence based than hers? Simply, what are my options from here to ensure that my children are safe and to ensure that I can have at the very least some significant custody of them? How can it be that you can allegedly call someone a name, and then not be able to see your kids for who knows how long? This is just ridiculous. Any advice would be much appreciated

 

[Rod]

Suggest you give our office a call, see my signature below.

You have multiple issues to work through.

If her initial application was heard ex-parte then immediately apply for a variation removing the kids. We can help you with all aspects.

 

[Atticus]

My wife has bipolar disorder ...... she has placed an interim order against myself of which the children are listed. .....In response, I have filed a cross application, of which I have undeniable evidence of her abuse. All I want is for the children to be safe, and for me to be able to see them

Do as advised by @Rod above...

Truth is she could be bat sh*t crazy but even proving it won't alter the fact that all she needs to do is satisfy the magistrate that she has cause to be fearful.... I wouldn't even be overly bothered with the cross application at this point.

The Aim for you right now is to have the kids removed from the order.... That's the priority, because the longer the kids are denied access the harder it can be to re-establish it .... The way to do that is by an application to vary & the best way to achieve that is to have your case presented in a proper, professional manner.
You can look at the family court route after that if it looks like it may be necessary.

 

[Howcanthisbe]

Geez. I knew the system was unfair, but when all you have done is allegedly call someone names, and when she has actually physically and emotionally hurt our children on almost a daily basis.. I just can't understand this. I have legal representation (lawyer and will have barrister at the mention) but they have said and done little about getting the kids removed from the order. I was told that since the police have taken over the case, negotiation isn't likely. However, I will have an aggressive bassister to argue my case when possible. I am also considering mediation, as I believe my ex wife should be reasonable about this. If she was the male and I was the woman, I have no doubt she would be in jail for doing the things that I have undeniable evidence of.

I'm an amazing dad and don't deserve this

 

[sammy01]

Forget getting kids removed from the order. WHY? Well let's pretend you succeeed. So what. Sure it means you can go pick the kids up from school without permission from the ex. But what then? one pissed off ex who has already demonstrated a preparedness to lie to fcuk you over...

Sack the solicitor. barrister too. (for now). Keep the $ for fighting in family law. So instead of spending all the $$ trying to get the avo dropt, spend that $ on getting to see the kids. BTW the solicitor can write to the ex asking for her to agree for some time with the kids until something more permenent can be established. That will cost about $500. Might be $ worth spending.

Call relationships australia. Organise mediation with them. It will cost stuff all. You need to be able to show that you tried mediation in order to apply to court. So even if mediation fails, it is a start in the process for court.

So my advice - get a solicitor to do the paperwork for court. Then sack him. You're gonna be going in and out of court for a few months, you can do that without solicitors BUT if it comes to a final hearing. Then is the time to laywer up.

 

[Atticus]

I have legal representation (lawyer and will have barrister at the mention) but they have said and done little about getting the kids removed from the order. I was told that since the police have taken over the case, negotiation isn't likely.

Obliviously we don't know the circumstances around your case or why the kids were added, but I would be considering shifting focus from the cross application to getting a variation to either remove kids entirely, or allow time with them, preferably unsupervised..... Your ex can keep her protection order for herself, I wouldn't oppose it.

There would have been a time not so long ago that, like @sammy01 I wouldn't have recommended you spend money on fighting an intervention order in a local court, but the change in recent years giving local courts the power to set aside, vary or revoke family court orders when dealing with family violence orders has changed things..... It's now worth the money to lawyer up to get listed kids removed if there is no real reason they need to be listed.

As it is now, a person could spend years & quite literally a small fortune in the family court to finally get orders that will allow them time with their kids, & all it takes is for a parent to walk into a court with a private application for an intervention order along with a bunch of allegations to have your hard won family court orders set aside or varied to no contact, & the interim period even before a fist mention can now be months.

 

[Rod]

What @Atticus said.

I was told that since the police have taken over the case, negotiation isn't likely.

Not true. Police are easier to deal with in my view and experience. But move quickly.