NSW Child’s decision to live with other pareno

[Polly]

Daughter lives with mother and has done since separation in 2014
Mother moved last Christmas with fiancée 161 Klms away and prior to leaving we sought legal advice only to be told she could not be stopped and any legal action would cost $10000.
An inter relate session setup a calendar which was submitted by the mother and my son had little input and periods of up to 6/11 weeks between visits. Previously the child spent every second weekend with her dad.
At this stage the daughter was ready to move in with my son but after discussing with her mother she moved. My sons attitude to all this was and still is I will love you wherever you live
Each visit the child asks to move in with her dad so he arranged for an independent counsellor to discuss privately with the child the issue. Result the child is adamant she wants to live with dad
My son has tried to setup a meeting with the mother via inter relate to discuss a new calendar for access next year however the mother is not responding.
Now the child is due to spend 3 weeks with her dad and we need to know what would happen if she refuses to go back to her mother
The issue of wanting to spend more time with her dad plus the banning of any communication with the child is a great issue
My son has supplied the child with a phone but it is constantly turned off, flat or missing
The child has a phone supplied by the mother but she has blocked all my sons family
The mother refuses to discuss any of the access or communication issues and presents herself as having the power to do as she wants

 

[Atticus]

Okay.. thanks for details..

So at this stage your options are to apply for court orders ( A DIY at minimal cost to compel her to the table) You will need a s60I certificate from an accredited mediator to apply ..... Other option, the daughter remains after visit... But how would that work with schooling? Also carries some risk as mum has been the primary carer since 2014... If she were to be granted an emergency order to recover, she may also get an interim order for very littel access to dad pending final orders... Could be years. Don't recommend that route

Crucial to this is going to be schooling, & her normal place of residence ... So I assume daughter was moved from her normal school, friends to relocate? Did this mean losing the normal contact with extended family as well? If so that goes in your favor if it goes to court. At 12 (depending on her level of maturity & understanding of the issues) her views/wishes will be given a reasonable amount of weight..

I would be getting straight onto an accredited mediator, probably inter relate if you've been dealing with them.. If she refuses to attend, get you 60I certificate & get an application in ASAP... Time in family law can be crucial when a kid is relocated. At the moment she's been gone less than a year.

 

[sammy01]

So I'm gonna give a slightly different perspective to Atticus. That said, I like his advice....

So there are some complication you wanna sort before moving ahead. Is mum likely to apply for an urgent recovery order? Could you make a case for lodging a 'notice of risk' because of mum's parenting style?

So what about school enrollements? BE CAREFUL. Might not wanna tell the school too much just yet. MIGHT even wanna be so sneaky as to approach the second nearest school and ask them if you can enrol the kid before hitting up the local school.

What if mum rocks up to the school and collects kids. Sadly, my kids have learned the family law equivalent of what to do if you're on fire... NOPE not drop and roll... SIT and wait. My kids (sadly) know that if mum comes to the school un-announced they are to sit and wait.... They don't go with her. Shitty thing to have to teach your kids and even practice but i have my reasons and I have court orders that say dad is primary carer....

What else? hmm - Never let the kid see mum again? After all mum could do the same thing to you once she gets her hands on the kid.... So are you gonna refuse mum access until she signs consent orders? Are you gonna teach the kid that if mum refuses to return the kid she should run away? NOPE... But teach the kid to notify the school when mum tries to enrol her that she doesn't wanna be there? Putting a lot of stress on a kid here hey....

So I've asked lots of question. You don't need to give me the answers BUT you do need to have answers inside your head for these contingencies.

Look it isn't entirely unviable to just keep the kid.... Technically speaking without consent orders the mum is gonna have a few smallish obstacles before she can get a recovery order. The article in the link should give you some food for thought.

What to do when a parent takes a child without permission and won't return them. Child Recovery Orders. - Cudmore Legal

You have many options when a child isn't to your care. You have these options regardless of whether you have existing parenting orders or not. You can talk to the other parent, have someone else speak to them, or you can apply to the Court to have the child returned to you.

www.cudmorelegal.com.au

 

[dmlimo]

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