QLD Family Law - Daughter Old Enough to Decide Where to Live?

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mg_897

Member
6 February 2017
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0
1
Hi there,

I have 3 children to my ex. 2 boys, aged 10 and 12 and a daughter aged 13 going on 14.

I'm having problems with my 12-year-old son. He goes to his mother's place and has been telling lies about myself and my wife. He also comes to my place and does the same thing and tells us things regarding his mother and her husband.

Being the more civil parent, we don't make a big deal about it as it seems to be him venting. We know that he has been lying more to his mother regarding myself as my 13-year-old daughter has been telling me. My ex is so crazy and jealous that she believes every little word that comes out of the child's mouth and it's so hard to get along with all the fighting.

My daughter has decided she wants to live with me during the week and only see her mother on weekends as she is finally seeing her mother for what she really is, but her mother keeps telling her this can't happen. Is she old enough to make that call under family law without getting into trouble?

I have the children 44% of the time as the ex won't give me 50/50 so her child support would be reduced and will lose her family tax benefit. Always comes down to money.

It's so hard to deal with, as 2 of my kids see the truth about what goes on at my place and 1 child that constantly makes up lies and I'm not sure how to deal with it anymore. My daughter has swapped weekends so that she isn't with her brothers when they visit me as she can't take all the lying and fighting that happens at her mother's because her place is so negative with different issues?

Just need opinions. Not sure what to do anymore!!
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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715
2,894
Ok - so you need a child psychologist to help you with your 12-year-old son... not legal help.

Look, organising mediation to have a chance to talk to mum without it becoming crazy, might be a good start. Teaching the child that his lies are causing everyone grief.... even better
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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Are there existing Court Orders?
 

mg_897

Member
6 February 2017
4
0
1
Yes, I am aware that with the 12-year-old son it's become out of control now.

Mediation doesn't work with the mother. I have done it 6 times. She is a child to deal with. Everything is my fault, never hers and doesn't listen to the truth, even when her own children tell her. She has that much hatred towards me. She just needs little things to fuel her rage further.

I'm wanting the legal help on my daughter being old enough to choose where she wants to live.
 

mg_897

Member
6 February 2017
4
0
1
There is a court order in place. It was done a long time ago and has been changed by my own lawyer and hers with different things with the extra days of care, etc. The court order was done when the kids were very young.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,067
715
2,894
OK, so if the 13-year-old wants to live with you, then you should communicate that to the mum and offer mediation to discuss it. You can just tell her this is what is happening and if it breaches the court orders, she can seek redress through the courts.

Look it is impossible to give accurate help on a site like this, but if the kid is 13-14 then it is possible that a good solicitor would tell your ex not to bother taking you to court for facilitating the 13-year-old to live with you, because it is likely the courts would make an order in your favour.

But just in case, it is a good idea to show that you've tried to discuss it with mum, but she refused to compromise... It will also look good if you continue to get daughter to visit mum at weekends.