Hello,
Three years ago the ex and I broke up. When the ex left, she left to go live 4 hours away and our four (4) year old daughter was left with me "due to the stability and security and routine" that remaining with me would offer our daughter in contrast of the mother's "then" circumstance(s). The mother (ex) has two (2) other children to another relationship. The ex and two children left to live at the ex's father's home (June 2014).
While there, the ex's father had left the family home and went interstate as the stresses from the ex and children were too much, I presume, for the father. The home was a rental. Since the dad left, he left the responsibility for the bills in the hands of the ex. "Long story short", bills weren't paid and an eviction notice was issued (August 2014).
The ex and children to previous the partnership then were found to be staying on the couches of the ex's friends houses as she was having a hard time being successful in any rental applications (4 hours away). At this time, I was informed of this as she confided in me for administrative assistance, emotional support and guidance. As I had a home office and she had seen me to be "clever" in this area of administration, I offered some help. I offered a roof over their heads as the repetitive rejections for real-estates and her efforts to move forward were not taking fruition. She was disheartened and gave up.
She and her children returned back on the proviso that it's short term and that she remains looking for a place of her own of her choosing. In that time, she tried to "get back with me" and I wanted no bar of it. Things became funny and communication was bleak. She left again but left the two other children with me as I offered one (1) week of home schooling and it was one week before the school holidays. "She often left - carting her children back and forwards - back and forwards" (not our daughter though) as I wouldn't allow an unsettled and uprooting of a stable environment (Sept 2014).
She returned picked up the children (not our child together) and left (4 hours away) to return again two weeks before Christmas Day. She ended up leaving on Christmas eve. The ex this time left to go 18 hours away.
We (daughter and I) never saw her again until nine (9) months later September 2014 (1 week visit). In that time there was fostered by me a "Skype" between them both, maybe three (3) times a week. It was irregular once I began to let her engage the calls rather than me.
In September 2015, the ex traveled 18 hours (one state to another) unannounced to daughter's Family Day Care provider's office to attempt to attain the address of the whereabouts of daughter's Educator. Received a phone call from Police stating "Mother has made a complaint and wanted a welfare check done as she is in fear of daughter safety" The Sgt said "I will not be doing one as I know she is safe" he also said "Be vigilant as it appears the mother looks to be trying to grab your daughter and take her".
When her attempts were foiled and she came up empty-handed, she then called me. "Can I see daughter as I am in town?"
As much as I wanted to as I believe a child needs both parents (Mum/Dad) to be complete and whole, I had to factor in what just happened and it wouldn't have been in the best interest of our daughter if she got taken away from her home and get taken away by her mother that she isn't very familiar with, 18 hours away to not be returned. "It was a sad development and it really pained me" I said no (September 2015)
From Sept 2015 - now there has been a phone call once in a blue moon. Two months, three months in-between Skype. Same Skype and mobile number - unchanged. Missed Birthday and Christmas just gone. Daughter is still upset as "postman Pat" still hasn't delivered presents that the ex said she would send daughter years ago. *Only gets surfaced when in contact with Mum.
Called the mother up so our daughter could wish her mum a "Happy Mother's Day". Daughter asked mother "why she is never here and wanted to know were her presents are". Daughter said "Dad, Mum wants to talk with you". She then yelled and threatened me with family court and said "I'm taking you to court and I will win" then hung up.
We're 18 hours apart, daughter is at kindy. Kindy is inline with primary school holidays. What steps should I take for mother to spend time with her mother and have something legally binding in case the mother doesn't return our daughter?
Sorry if it's a bit lengthy, short form isn't my forte.
Three years ago the ex and I broke up. When the ex left, she left to go live 4 hours away and our four (4) year old daughter was left with me "due to the stability and security and routine" that remaining with me would offer our daughter in contrast of the mother's "then" circumstance(s). The mother (ex) has two (2) other children to another relationship. The ex and two children left to live at the ex's father's home (June 2014).
While there, the ex's father had left the family home and went interstate as the stresses from the ex and children were too much, I presume, for the father. The home was a rental. Since the dad left, he left the responsibility for the bills in the hands of the ex. "Long story short", bills weren't paid and an eviction notice was issued (August 2014).
The ex and children to previous the partnership then were found to be staying on the couches of the ex's friends houses as she was having a hard time being successful in any rental applications (4 hours away). At this time, I was informed of this as she confided in me for administrative assistance, emotional support and guidance. As I had a home office and she had seen me to be "clever" in this area of administration, I offered some help. I offered a roof over their heads as the repetitive rejections for real-estates and her efforts to move forward were not taking fruition. She was disheartened and gave up.
She and her children returned back on the proviso that it's short term and that she remains looking for a place of her own of her choosing. In that time, she tried to "get back with me" and I wanted no bar of it. Things became funny and communication was bleak. She left again but left the two other children with me as I offered one (1) week of home schooling and it was one week before the school holidays. "She often left - carting her children back and forwards - back and forwards" (not our daughter though) as I wouldn't allow an unsettled and uprooting of a stable environment (Sept 2014).
She returned picked up the children (not our child together) and left (4 hours away) to return again two weeks before Christmas Day. She ended up leaving on Christmas eve. The ex this time left to go 18 hours away.
We (daughter and I) never saw her again until nine (9) months later September 2014 (1 week visit). In that time there was fostered by me a "Skype" between them both, maybe three (3) times a week. It was irregular once I began to let her engage the calls rather than me.
In September 2015, the ex traveled 18 hours (one state to another) unannounced to daughter's Family Day Care provider's office to attempt to attain the address of the whereabouts of daughter's Educator. Received a phone call from Police stating "Mother has made a complaint and wanted a welfare check done as she is in fear of daughter safety" The Sgt said "I will not be doing one as I know she is safe" he also said "Be vigilant as it appears the mother looks to be trying to grab your daughter and take her".
When her attempts were foiled and she came up empty-handed, she then called me. "Can I see daughter as I am in town?"
As much as I wanted to as I believe a child needs both parents (Mum/Dad) to be complete and whole, I had to factor in what just happened and it wouldn't have been in the best interest of our daughter if she got taken away from her home and get taken away by her mother that she isn't very familiar with, 18 hours away to not be returned. "It was a sad development and it really pained me" I said no (September 2015)
From Sept 2015 - now there has been a phone call once in a blue moon. Two months, three months in-between Skype. Same Skype and mobile number - unchanged. Missed Birthday and Christmas just gone. Daughter is still upset as "postman Pat" still hasn't delivered presents that the ex said she would send daughter years ago. *Only gets surfaced when in contact with Mum.
Called the mother up so our daughter could wish her mum a "Happy Mother's Day". Daughter asked mother "why she is never here and wanted to know were her presents are". Daughter said "Dad, Mum wants to talk with you". She then yelled and threatened me with family court and said "I'm taking you to court and I will win" then hung up.
We're 18 hours apart, daughter is at kindy. Kindy is inline with primary school holidays. What steps should I take for mother to spend time with her mother and have something legally binding in case the mother doesn't return our daughter?
Sorry if it's a bit lengthy, short form isn't my forte.