NSW Separation - What to Do with Court Orders to Return?

[Concerned gramps]

My daughter left her partner of three years 7 months ago, two weeks before the birth of her second child. At the time her first born was 14 months old, she was working full time and not getting any real support in looking after the baby from her partner, who was giving her a hard time about the soon-to-be born baby.

They both agreed on the separation and entered into a consent order to split up assets, for her to return to the family home (500km away) and arrange visitation rights of the father - once a month and weekly video calls via Skype. Also included was a two-month period at Easter to visit her sister in WA.

All this was to happen after the birth, but the ex was so nasty that my son & I travelled down & picked her & her belongings up. Twelve months after the birth of the second child, she was to return to her original location. She has now decided to have an extra year off work to look after her babies and continue to stay with her parents where she can receive help with her kids.

Her ex does not agree with this & is insisting she stick to the consent orders. She does need to have a new order which includes the new baby. Can the ex still insist on her return with a new order?

 

[imanlore]

Complete the order and send him a bill. Make it a reasonable amount

 

[sammy01]

Do the consent orders state that she will return after 12 months? If so, then she is going to be hard pressed to have them changed. See consent orders are basically a contract... It is legally binding.

Sure she could seek to have them changed, but I can't help but think that dad would have a good go at painting a picture that shows this is an attempt to keep him away from the kids

 

[Concerned gramps]

I do understand that about consent orders, but in this case, they have to change the parenting plan to include the new baby and hopefully come up with new consent orders. She would still include visiting time for the ex on the same basis as the current plan - which is monthly weekend visits and weekly face time. Overnighters are out as the kids are only 20 & 6 months old and there are serious safety issues with his house.

As the my daughter has found some part-time work in this area (with hopefully more forthcoming) she would much prefer to stay in this area. Having her family around to help out enables her to do this.

Returning to her previous locale would make this impossible as her ex was totally incapable of helping out with their baby when they lived together, let alone being able to provide real help when they live apart.

What sort of access time does the court consider reasonable in such situations?

 

[sammy01]

Gramps - mate I get your concerns... But the law protects the rights of both parents to have a meaningful relationship with both parents.... now dad has been pretty reasonable in agreeing for mum to live closer to you for the first year after the birth of the child..

So you mentioned a fair bit of nastiness. But not domestic violence. You have said mum doesn't want to move back because dad is useless - well that is your opinion, He might think differently, two sides to every story....

But she signed the consent orders - they are a contract... Why should dad have to take this to court and spend money on ensuring the agreement they made is enforced?

 

[Concerned gramps]

Sammy , thanks for the comments. You are right there are always two sides. Unfortunately this bloke ticks all the boxes of a narcissist and I am sure believes he is the best dad of all time. Not only with these kids but also with his other two from a previous relationship.

All that aside they still need to come up with a plan that includes the new baby, because the current one was made before she was born. He was quite happy to have her to leave before the baby was born!

 

[sammy01]

So just checking - the current orders stipulate that she is to return to previous location by a specific date?

Ok - so relocation cases are really hard... Look she probably needs to speak to a solicitor about what next... It is better to be pro-active...

That said - what is dad likely to do if she doesn't return? If he files for contravention of the current orders, that will not be good - she may be forced to relocate back to the original location. But there is also the possibility the magistrate would agree to remove the relocation order... Impossible to tell from here.

 

[Concerned gramps]

Yes, the current orders have her returning at the end of the year.

If she doesn't return what sort of visiting times does the court consider reasonable given the 500km distance apart?

Looks like a visit to a solicitor will be necessary. We were hoping to just do an application for consent orders, but it's unlikely the ex will agree to her not returning.

 

[sammy01]

Ok so 500km is a long haul...

Look I think the real problem here is that there is an order that she return. You're going to have to establish to the magistrate that it is not in the best interest of the children for them to return... Now given one of the primary considerations is the right of the child to have a meaningful relationship with both parents.

Parenting cases - the best interest of the child - Family Court of Australia

Look it might be your opinion that dad is a waste of space.. you're entitled to your opinion... But I don't know if you're going to have much fun convincing a judge of that...

But yep - I'd strongly encourage you to speak to a solicitor... I'd really appreciate if you could let us know how you go..