Hello, I have a Consent Orders with my ex. I need some help clarifying something in clause 3:
"3. That the parents are to consult with each other about decisions to be made in the exercise of their equal shared parental responsibility as follows: ..."
So "Consult" - does this mean we have to agree on all issues?
It doesn't mean you have to agree on all issues, but it does mean that if you don't agree, you compromise. If you can't do that without assistance, you do it through mediation, and if the mediator decides one party is being unreasonable, THEN you can probably make a decision unilaterally if it's absolutely necessary to do so (for example, enrolment at a school), but be prepared for possible action pursued by the other party.
For example, "I'm enroling child x in school y, I have a meeting with the principal on day z, come if you want" is not consultation, it's a decision made unilaterally with information given to the other party after the decision has already been made.
Consultation is more like, "Hey, I'm thinking about enroling x in school y, what do you think? Do you think that school would be a good choice for x? If not, what other options should we consider? If I book an appointment with the principal at school y, do you think you could come along as well? Is there a day that suits you?"
I know it's not always this friendly. Heck, if you've had to get orders, there's about a 110% chance it's exactly unfriendly. But this is a delicate area and unilateral decisions made to the exclusion of the other parent don't often pan out well in court, so it's critically important that you truly do
make a genuine effort to compromise on major decisions. If you want one thing and your ex wants another, it doesn't do to reject their position entirely and just go with yours because you think it's better. If it's you making the genuine effort, and the ex is the difficult one, then your position should be defensible in court anyway.
