feel free to ignore my advice.
Dad is following the process. He paid a solicitor to write to you and make a suggestion so the bloke can see his kids All legal. You can refuse. That is your choice, again all legal. Dad will then have to follow the next part of the process and apply to court.
Here is my concern for you though - without third party evidence - police, Doc's independent psychologists apointed by the court, then there is NO hard evidence... Sure you could have an internet history that shows he looked up some dodgy stuff. Criminal history too..But unless he is creating or distributing images of young kids, he isn't actually breaking the law. And unless the criminal activity included the kids...Dad didn't rob a bank on his way home from picking the kids up at pre-school did he? Then the criminal stuff shows poor form. But doesn't mean the guys should be excluded from seeing the kids.
So getting a solicitor to write to you is in accordance with the rules. You can ignore me and you can ignor those solicitor's letters... Dad will have no other option but to apply to court. So what then for you? Do you have a lazy 10K or more to spend on solicitors? Are you prepared for the courts to determine that dad should see the kids and potentially make a cost order against you for some of dad's legal fees?
You are right... "Not all mothers keeping their children from the fathers are men hating, spiteful bitches using their children as pawns." The solicitor's letter seems to indicate that dad wants a few hours with the kids - With supervision. Why do you think that is unreasonable?
So let's forward plan here... You wind up in court. Dad hasn't seen the kids in months. Not even with supervision. Why? YOU... Doesn't look great. You seem unreasonable.... OR you have provided very limited access with supervision because you have concerns. You seem reasonable. I know which is a better starting point from which to hope to get a good outcome from a judge... But feel free to ignore my advice. BTW -at no point did i ever suggest you are a man hating spiteful b***h.. Don't now how you even thought I was indicating that...
Considering that dad doesn't have a job, nor has had one for many, many years, i find it very difficult to believe that he has actually paid a solicitor, most likely is utilising legal aid. But whatever. I have refused, we will see what the next step in the process is.
I plan an asking for his criminal and medical records to be subpoenaed, which will prove not just his criminal behaviour, but his multiple mental illnesses, drug abuse, hepatitis status, etc. I do actually have hard evidence, being letters, texts, even a dozen positive drug tests which i was using in the past when i was allowing him to visit the children on the condition he could pass a drug test at the time, which more often than not, he failed. Not to mention multiple witnesses to the violence he inflicted on me in front of our children.
To my knowledge, he hasn't robbed a bank, but he has made a stop at a brothel and had prostitutes in the unit in which he had the children?
Btw, my daughters are 13 and 12, old enough to remember a lot, and old enough to make an informed decision.
I find it difficult to believe that a court would make a cost order against me for refusing contact with the children's father when there is a avo in place, in fact i find it more likely i could face charges of breaching the order myself if i was to allow it.
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I'd like to let it be known that for many years i attempted to maintain a relationship between father and daughters, but the final straw was when me daughters asked me to not encourage them to spend time with him anymore, this happened not long after they found intravenous drug paraphernalia amongst his belongings, and also several weeks after their birthdays when he decided to contact them and bring them a gift, to which arrived drug affected and which one was a dog collar (ok, yes we do have a dog) and the other a pot plant (no card), both not really appropriate gifts for 10 year old girls, and really just reinforced to them his lack of care really.
For these reasons I do believe visitation is unreasonable and likely to be more detrimental to my daughters than beneficial. Trust me, i could actually continue on with examples why I believe it to be unreasonable for days, but ill save that for when its actually needed. My initial question has been answered, and my issue has been dealt with accordingly,
