NSW Should Children Have Their Own Room Under Family Law?

[Jelly Belly]

Can I please have help on a question?

I'm about to have mediation and want to request that my children have their own room at their father's. We recently separated and he is still living in our owned home.

My ex currently has an ad on gumtree and Facebook looking for a flatmate. The ad is saying they'll have access to the whole downstairs which were the kids' rooms. This means my kids will have no rooms there. They're 12, 4 and 3.

My 3-year-old also has asthma and he's put that smoking is permitted on the ad.

Does anyone know where I stand under family law?

 

[sammy01]

You've got nothing...

As long as the kids are not put at risk, then what happens at dad's house is dad's business. Now if mediation is pertaining to assets - then you could discuss the fact that you should be entitled to half of any rental income he makes from the place because you are a joint owner of the house.

How much time does he have with the kids?

 

[Jelly Belly]

I'm going to be doing every Saturday 9am until 4pm Sunday as his work commitments don't allow much else.

I was always under the impression the kids had to have their own room and needed to be kept safe. How are they safe if you don't know the person?

 

[Rod]

Kids would not be expected to share a room with stranger, however, I suspect this is unlikely to be the situation. They may be staying in their father's room.

If you can prove the father lacks all responsibility, then you should be fighting him for full custody. Otherwise, the father is allowed to parent his way, not your way.

You don't need to know the stranger. This is one of the consequences of splitting up. You now need to rely on the person you chose to have children with to be a good father. And realistically most fathers want what is best for their kids, just as much as mothers do. They may have a different style of parenting but that is not necessarily a 'wrong way'.

 

[Jelly Belly]

He doesn't know them... that's the point. He's letting a random person move in that could be anyone. I'm just after what legally is right, as a lawyer has said I'm well within my right to say, "No they can't be there if random people are staying."

Also, my daughter's health is at risk having people smoking near her and around her

 

[sammy01]

So do you think your ex is reckless enough to leave the kids with someone he doesn't trust? It is one thing for him to have guests stay, it is another thing for him to leave the kids with these strangers while he goes out. It is a matter of supervision. So assuming he is supervising the kids, then what is the problem?

So have you ever left the kids at a birthday party with some parent that you don't know? I have...lots... So what is the difference? In that situation, I've left the kids at a house, with minimal knowledge of the parents' background, etc. I've also had kids stay at my house for sleep-overs, etc., without the parents asking for a police check or whatever...

But if you have had a solicitor tell you that you have grounds to stop him seeing the kids, well take that advice. But it seems to me that you're worrying about a hypothetical situation and really, you should only be withholding the kids if/when they express anxiety about the set up with the other parent....

 

[AllForHer]

He doesn't know them... that's the point. He's letting a random person move in that could be anyone. I'm just after what legally is right, as a lawyer has said I'm well within my right to say, "No they can't be there if random people are staying."

Also, my daughter's health is at risk having people smoking near her and around her

While there are no parenting orders in place, you are "well within your right to say" whatever you want. The father, however, doesn't have to agree, nor does he have to comply.

The difference is that your position isn't supported by the law. His is.

The Court has made a very clear distinction between long-term decisions and day-to-day decisions. The children's education, religious affiliation, medical care, name, and care arrangements are long-term decisions for which parents share parental responsibility. Who the children are around when in either parent's care is a day-to-day decision and the sole responsibility of the parent with whom the children are spending time.

The Court has also confirmed frequently that what you're complaining about is a day-to-day decision. Who the children are around when they're in his care, is his decision, not yours.

That is what is legally right.

 

[fbueller]

@Jelly Belly I'd use your opportunity for the upcoming mediation to think about expressing your concerns, however, I'd think carefully about how to do it. Mediation is a great opportunity to actively listen. If he feels heard he may be more willing to listen to your concerns and discuss some options.

I know what you mean when you're talking about health concerns, I'd be concerned too, I found mediation to be the biggest part of.

I used a company that did an additional mediation included as part of the documents. The mediation was the added bonus because we didn't get to finish the mediation with relationships Australia. It worked out great and was online and was so cheap compared to others.