We can provide them with a room to share. To have a room each, we would need to add an extension. That wouldn't be a problem if they decided to live with us for example. But a big expense for possibly monthly time with us or less.
NSW Family Court Orders - Are Husband's Ex-Wife's Requests Reasonable?
- Thread starter Mylife
- Start date
We have purchased new beds. Unfortunately their mum is refusing time with them on Christmas Day. We were hoping to have them part of the day. She is agreeing to us having them for around a week commencing the 27th. A little disappointed we don't see them on Christmas Day, but better than no time at all!
Hey I understand... I hope you get all chrissy day next year. For the last few years my kids have had half chrissy with me and half with the ex. But due to changing circumstances, we are now doing it year about. I gotta tell you that even though I'm not seeing the kids this year, I'm good with it because I know I'll have them all Christmas next year.
If you have them in the morning, you know they will have to pack up and leave before they really get to play with presents, etc. and then the house goes quiet... If you have them in the afternoon, then you're taking them away from their presents and you've missed the best part of chrissy day, because the presents under the tree in the morning is the best bit....
And it reminds everyone involved that while Christmas should be a time for happy families, it ain't the case because of all this crap...
As far as the kids sharing a room, look that shouldn't be grounds to prevent visits, but sadly, if she insists, then you'll have to get a magistrate to tell her to pull her head in...
Like I said, I hope you have them all Christmas next year and can enjoy all the festivities, etc, etc.
If you have them in the morning, you know they will have to pack up and leave before they really get to play with presents, etc. and then the house goes quiet... If you have them in the afternoon, then you're taking them away from their presents and you've missed the best part of chrissy day, because the presents under the tree in the morning is the best bit....
And it reminds everyone involved that while Christmas should be a time for happy families, it ain't the case because of all this crap...
As far as the kids sharing a room, look that shouldn't be grounds to prevent visits, but sadly, if she insists, then you'll have to get a magistrate to tell her to pull her head in...
Like I said, I hope you have them all Christmas next year and can enjoy all the festivities, etc, etc.
Thank you Sammy.
We've not been able to have them at all Christmas Day for the last 6 years
Fingers crossed that either some negotiation can happen prior to court next year, or my husband gets orders in place that are fair for all and mostly, what's best for the kids!
Don't worry about her. Buy the kids beds. Know you are doing everything right, and keep doing the right things.
Worry about the things you can control, be aware of the things you can't.
Know that when you are requesting and negotiating, that you are comfortable that your home is your kids' home.
In regards to flight time, 1.5 hours is nothing. But is there other travel time included. ie, hour to the airport, etc.
Be aware of yourself, your children, and their mother. 2 weekends per school term, is not much time, but probably reasonable if travel is too far. Can you guys go to them? 2 weekends per school term they come to you, and you go to them, and have day visits 2 weekends per school term. The more you base your life around your children, the more content everybody is.
If the mother works though, and the kids are home by themselves at 12. Maybe you should be requesting the mother gets 2 weekends per school term and half the holidays, and you guys get custody.
Worry about the things you can control, be aware of the things you can't.
Know that when you are requesting and negotiating, that you are comfortable that your home is your kids' home.
In regards to flight time, 1.5 hours is nothing. But is there other travel time included. ie, hour to the airport, etc.
Be aware of yourself, your children, and their mother. 2 weekends per school term, is not much time, but probably reasonable if travel is too far. Can you guys go to them? 2 weekends per school term they come to you, and you go to them, and have day visits 2 weekends per school term. The more you base your life around your children, the more content everybody is.
If the mother works though, and the kids are home by themselves at 12. Maybe you should be requesting the mother gets 2 weekends per school term and half the holidays, and you guys get custody.
We would love to have them full time. However, I don't think that is truly what's best for them. It would be a massive upheaval for them. Change of school, friends, their mother, etc.
One reason that we would like them to come to our home rather than us go to them is so they can also spend time with their half sibling here. Plus, there are multiple additional costs to travel to them rather than them to us. Accommodation, car hire, etc.
I am new here by the way and ask for my own help, so please just treat my posts as opinions and such.
There is plenty of backstory missing. I mean kids are interstate, father remarried, and only getting court orders sorted now. Is that due to the court system taking so long, or is there a period of time that he wasn't seeking time? Or the mother has been keeping them while he was fighting to see them?
Why don't the kids have their own room, or at least a room? Are they an afterthought of a period of time with no contact?
I would think a room for both, given the time spent, with a bed each would be perfectly acceptable, but of course, without knowing everything, my opinion can't get much deeper.
There is plenty of backstory missing. I mean kids are interstate, father remarried, and only getting court orders sorted now. Is that due to the court system taking so long, or is there a period of time that he wasn't seeking time? Or the mother has been keeping them while he was fighting to see them?
Why don't the kids have their own room, or at least a room? Are they an afterthought of a period of time with no contact?
I would think a room for both, given the time spent, with a bed each would be perfectly acceptable, but of course, without knowing everything, my opinion can't get much deeper.
And of course, a fortnight a month, in a 10 week school term, is really only 2 weekends anyway. I was just adding in seek extra time, by going to them. Even if it is just the father. Certainly fight for as much time as possible. You have stated you agree the kids should remain and is perfectly safe for them to do so, and are happy with the requests outside of own rooms etc, so all I can really say is treat these kids as your kids, and provide them with what you feel they deserve, not what is convenient.
Financial constraints have prevented court action prior to now. He (the father) has been only "allowed" time with them when the mother says so basically. He has been constantly trying to get regular time with them, to no avail. He has always had telephone contact (when the mother turned the phone on that is).
The children did not have a room of their own last time they were here as it was a last minute decision that they were allowed to come spend time here. The other rooms in the house are occupied, so they used a living room that is not used. This time, we will move our son out of his room to allow them to have that room solely for their use whilst they are here.
As mentioned earlier, we are more than happy to provide whatever they need to ensure they feel comfortable and at home whilst they are here. We did want to make sure that they will be spending time here regularly before spending more money purchasing new beds, linen etc etc.
The children did not have a room of their own last time they were here as it was a last minute decision that they were allowed to come spend time here. The other rooms in the house are occupied, so they used a living room that is not used. This time, we will move our son out of his room to allow them to have that room solely for their use whilst they are here.
As mentioned earlier, we are more than happy to provide whatever they need to ensure they feel comfortable and at home whilst they are here. We did want to make sure that they will be spending time here regularly before spending more money purchasing new beds, linen etc etc.
My experience. My wife took off with my daughter (just updated the thread), and I had filed on day 13, after getting a mediation certificate stating she would not attend, and in court on day 24, for the cost of around 450 dollars, plus printer ink. Lawyers aren't a requirement. Nobody can afford 400 dollars an hour, except themselves.
Sounds like things are relatively amiicable between yourselves, so don't send yourselves broke having lawyers fighting it out in court, for the sake of the cost of a couple of beds.
Good luck with it. Time is something you will never get back.
Sounds like things are relatively amiicable between yourselves, so don't send yourselves broke having lawyers fighting it out in court, for the sake of the cost of a couple of beds.
Good luck with it. Time is something you will never get back.
Similar threads
