VIC Divorce - Ex Refusing to Let Me See Child

[speck1]

Married for a year and a half (divorced three and a half years ago). Have a child (6). First year of divorce...not a problem with shared parenting, she moved three hours away and I had my child 4 nights of 14 (wasn't at school yet) met half way for drop offs.

Then I met a girl, who I have been with for 2 1/2 years and since then my ex has turned nasty. It has got to the point where she refuses to let me see my child, as she is angry and jealous that I have moved on.

We did mediation x 2 and it failed, with the mediator saying she is not a willing participant. I have also done consent orders drafts x 2 which have been rejected. I got my c60 but I can't afford to apply for court. She has a family lawyer and through liaising with him, I am happy to just get any sort of contact and have offered everything from, every 2nd weekend + half hols, every 3rd weekend +half hols, 8 nights hols ONLY, and now we have even offered that we just see her one day per month for 12 hours.

Everything is being rejected or declined...she has depression and has turned into a terrible human being. My family actually lives 10 mins from her and she will not allow contact. I haven't seen her in months and my phone calls don't get answered.

NO orders of any kind in place.

After some assistance...

 

[AllForHer]

I hate to say it, but it may be time for court. Some parents simply aren't willing unless given no choice about it, so court may pressure your ex to do the right thing because it will look bad for her if she refuses to facilitate a relationship between you and the child.

Have you considered self-representing?

 

[speck1]

yes-but need help with the process/forms etc.

on a job wher ei only get 40k a year and pay child support and mortage it is very hard to afford court....

 

[AllForHer]

Of course. There are lots of online resources to help with this process, and you can supplement your own work with support from Legal Aid solicitors or from family law specialists. They can check your affidavits, give you advice, etc. but you won't have the hefty cost of representation.

Legal Aid Victoria offers a very useful guide on self-representing in family matters. You should be able to Google it easily enough (I can't link to it on my mobile). We can also provide some limited guidance here, as well.

Your first step is to organise a family dispute resolution conference to try and reach agreement with the other party. Legal Aid and Relationships Australia both offer this service for reasonably cheap, but it can take some time. Family Law specialists offer this service for a higher cost, but it can be done much faster.

If you're unable to reach agreement or the other party refuses to attend, you'll be given a s60i certificate, which will enable you to file an initiating application for parenting orders with the court. You'll need to decide what arrangements you think are best for the kids in your circumstances, and you'll need to file an affidavit of evidence supporting your case.

But before any of that, family dispute resolution is the first mandatory step.

Contact Legal Aid to get the ball rolling.

 

[speck1]

Of course. There are lots of online resources to help with this process, and you can supplement your own work with support from Legal Aid solicitors or from family law specialists. They can check your affidavits, give you advice, etc. but you won't have the hefty cost of representation.

Legal Aid Victoria offers a very useful guide on self-representing in family matters. You should be able to Google it easily enough (I can't link to it on my mobile). We can also provide some limited guidance here, as well.

Your first step is to organise a family dispute resolution conference to try and reach agreement with the other party. Legal Aid and Relationships Australia both offer this service for reasonably cheap, but it can take some time. Family Law specialists offer this service for a higher cost, but it can be done much faster.

If you're unable to reach agreement or the other party refuses to attend, you'll be given a s60i certificate, which will enable you to file an initiating application for parenting orders with the court. You'll need to decide what arrangements you think are best for the kids in your circumstances, and you'll need to file an affidavit of evidence supporting your case.

But before any of that, family dispute resolution is the first mandatory step.

Contact Legal Aid to get the ball rolling.

we are well passed that...did that twice and both mediators called it off basically saying she is a lunati and gave me c60.
so i can apply.
i want to self represent and initiate, do i serve forms to her first or have to pay first?

 

[AllForHer]

File an initiating application for parenting orders with the Federal Circuit Court. The form is on the Federal Circuit Court and Family Court websites. You'll pay the initiating application fee at the time that you file. You'll then serve one of the three copies of the initiating application on your former spouse.

Your application will need to include the orders you are seeking, an affidavit of supporting evidence for the orders you are seeking and a copy of the s60i certificate. You may also wish to tick the box seeking interim orders, which will enable the court to make orders while proceedings are under way.

 

[speck1]

then court fees and other isnt it???

i have paid her out and only on $700 a week, have a mortgage etc and credit card debt and cant afford it.
legal aid wont even help.

 

[AllForHer]

You'll pay the filing fee when you file, which I think is about $430 for both final and interim orders, but only either parenting or property (more info here: Court Fees (Family Law) - Federal Circuit Court of Australia

You don't have to pay a lawyer unless you have one representing you, and you don't have to pay the hearing fees until a final hearing date is set, usually not for a long time after initiating application is filed. On top of that, about 95% of cases that are filed with the court end up being determined by consent of both parties, rather than by trial, which saves a lot of money. Trial days cost about $600 per day, so orders by consent will save you that money.