NSW What to Expect at Family Court Hearing?

[sammy01]

OK - so once they decided to withold the child then it makes sense to not contact you. But the other thing is solicitors will often tell their clients to only communicate through the solicitor...

The cynic in me tells me that solicitors do that to help make them money... but sometimes it is really a good idea not to communicate.

Let's face it - if you communicate with the ex it is only gonna end in an argument... Now if that argument includes threats then all of a sudden one party could have a criminal case against the other...

So my suggestion to you is accept there will be zero communication until court and that really is a good thing for two reasons...

1 - You're doing your kid a favour. Phone communication has become an attempt on their part to manipulate your son... Don't have phone communication and you don't have to put your son in that position..

2 - They are using the phone to hurt you.... Don't let them.

Yep the kid might miss the first day of school.

Oh well... Look when you get into court you must stay calm. Say nothing unless asked by a solicitor / magistrate. Don't roll your eyes when you hear something you don't agree with. Listen but don't call out - Just listen and be polite.

 

[iTrulyDoLoveMySons1990]

My solicitor said my ex and his wife can get into a lot of trouble for withholding my sons right to communicate with me from him. I've been dealing with it and apart from the one time I answered them back on my blog and emailed my ex about our son being welcome to call me any time he likes, I have pretty much ignored them.

I hate accepting zero communication but I understand not letting them hurt my son or I too.

My solicitor said that if my ex doesn't send my son to school on the first day it will make him look bad so hopefully that would help me get the recovery order.

I am absolutely terrified of the court hearing, the closest I have come to a court house is a tenancy tribunal at fair trading.

 

[sammy01]

OK, but by not communicating - you have grounds to show that you're ability to parent with him is impared by his inability to allow simple stuff like privacy in phone conversations. Makes him look bad and more importantly, you are not making him look bad - he is doing it to himself

 

[iTrulyDoLoveMySons1990]

I honestly don't think it is possible for my ex and I to co - parent. His wife does all the communicating, even on visitation pick up his wife would be the one that says what is going to happen. I have never once been given the opportunity to have a civil one on one conversation with my ex. I even suspect that since his wife has continuously chosen to be the one to contact me via Facebook that she may also be the one behind the emails that my ex sends me.

When my husband served court papers on my ex, my ex tried to tell my husband that he isn't allowed to return our son. When my husband said no, FACs told us themselves that they did not make an order to remove the child all my ex could do was shrug. On the one hand I am disgusted that he can't see that I would never allow any hard to come to our son and just bring him home, on the other hand I can't help wondering if his wife and mother and law are pulling the strings. I want to understand his reasons but I can't.

 

[iTrulyDoLoveMySons1990]

harm sorry

 

[sammy01]

OK - so when is the court date...

 

[iTrulyDoLoveMySons1990]

It's on Tuesday

 

[sammy01]

I'm pretty confident your son will be returned then.... You can expect the magistrate to want to make some orders about when the child will spend time with dad... Try and be agreeable.

Next - the only reason the courts MIGHT decide to keep the child with dad is if the judge feels there is reason to because of concerns for the welfare of the child. Now I'm assuming there is no reason BUT if dad wants to make accusations he can, but when that information gets tested in the court and if it is found to be false, then dad has seriously damaged his case.

I'm keen to hear how you go on Tuesday

 

[iTrulyDoLoveMySons1990]

I already have a proposal parenting plan typed up ready to present to the court, it provides the father with every second weekend from Friday after school to Monday before school whereas for the past year he only took every second Tuesday afternoon for a few hours. And I'm offering a week on week of term for the Christmas holidays to ensure he doesn't pull the same antics again...hopefully! I'm also asking to add at all other times as agreed between parents but in the absence of agreement at the my discretion. I'm also adding that he can have liberal phone and video communication.

I'm hoping that this is what they agree to because so far the agreements we have reached haven't worked for us.

I can't prove there is no abuse except to swear on it. I have emails to my ex about how I care for our son and his welfare at school etc. I've always been honest about discipline as well. I suppose I have to trust the judge to trust that I'll be telling the truth. I have a couple written references from family members but I don't know if they will be taken into consideration.

I will definitely give an update

 

[sammy01]

It is there job to at least give the magistrate reason for concern for the child. It is not your job to prove there isn't abuse - They have to prove you are abusive toward the child. This doesn't seem to be their angle anyways.

Just remember to stay calm in court and don't interrupt.