Get healthy, stay strong. Out live her and the house is yours.... Small win, but she can't sell it without your consent and she cant access the funds from the sale without your authority. Might be a little bit of revenge for her to be confronted with the reality that you can insist that a chunk of the $$$ from the sale goes into your bank account...
Hi Atticus, still legally married, I was told to keep it that way until after everything is finalised as it can complicate issues.
1) Does that include any court applications for settlement? .... mediation for settlement?
So far that has only covered court costs and attempts to get things going, Ive been to court 4 times to get the original order down from 5 years to 3, also to arange a way for me to communicate with her regarding the children only. I have an email address but nothing that says she has to reply.
2) She is in the house with kids, but who is paying mortgage?
Yes, she is in her house with her children (her words) and only paying interest for almost 3 years due to her claim of hardship. Banks will allow you 6 months normally..
3) Are you paying child support? .... seeing kids regularly?
I am basically semi retired and have no income not even centrelink. So she has not even started down that path. She knows I have nothing. Also it may cost money and she was using legal aid.
I have not seen the kids in 3 years. I am able to email about seeing the kids and only about that but nothing says she has to reply so she doesnt.
So after many attempts I gave up. Also after having gone through the bulls**t she has come up with to get me removed from my life I do not trust her a bit. I know she has been brainwashing the kids and I can not deffend myself against false accusations. I will not even do a supervised visit as they can be loaded as well.
Unlike a lot of people in these situations I can see no point in spending money on something like custody. Even after having agreements they are never enforced so not worth it.
I value my freedom much more than anything else.
thanks
Hi sammy01, this is something that has to be done its law. She thinks that if she makes me look like a bad enough monster someone will just give her the house.
There is only one way my name is coming off the mortgage and thats by it being paid in full.
Ive made a lot of friends through support groups and everyone agrees, it is something that has to happen. But I learnt and have seen it done.. updating your Will is a very powerful tool.
One of my now passed friends had done exactly that... His ex was doing a very similar thing to mine, she cheated on him then threw him out of his life just like mine. He changed his will and left everything to a charity, so last year after he took his own life the will was enacted. We don't know exactly what happened but his house was sold and the ex no longer lives there. Id say that's a win, his theory was that the law cant be bullshitted all the time, some parts still follow the law to the letter and do so with integrity. He was a good man caught up in a world of crap just so someone could get her way.
Turns out a Will trumps famlily law crap.
Extreme, yes it is but I know how he feels. Removed from your life and treated like an animal because the law allows someone to say something with no proof, just that they felt a certain way is total bulls**t. Also Im sick to death of being told I commited Domestic Violence, read a dictionary... there was no violence EVER.
Paying bills from a joint account that both parties have open access to is not financial abuse...it was meeting our obligation to maintain a supply of electricity and water. But when you say you felt controlled by that, its considered domestic violence.
I could go on for days, weeks or god knows months.. But its not worth it. She was a lesson not a life sentence.
I'm assuming the court appearances were to do with the IVO, not family court? ..... I get the feeling you're not a fan of the family court... Fair enough, neither am I, but the only thing that will compel her to address the issue is by way of the family court ..... You won't have to arrange a way to communicate .... If you file a settlement application with the court ( very low cost for a DIY) that will get the ball rolling, she will be served, have to respond, attend mediation & either buy out your share, refinance a new mortgage or sell up..
That won't work in your case because she has a legitimate financial interest in the property, she would just challenge the estate... Can't see how it would have worked in your mates case either really
Most bigger charities have there own legal departments and they will fight tooth and nail for anything legally left to them. I used to know someone who worked for one.
My ex no longer works as the extra burden of me forcing her to raise the kids as a single mother was to great and the stress lead to her having to become a stay at home centrelink sponsored mum. She can't afford legal help and in QLD legal aid will not help.
Same with my late friend.. I'd love to know the details but I don't.
As for my case, I'd love someone to send her broke fighting then make her homeless. Might be the wake up call she needs.. as for me I'll be gone..
Missed that one sorry, in QLD it is called a Protection Order.. it sounds better..and thats what I have spent all my money on dealing with.
With respect, even if you were successful in whatever you are trying to achieve, that isn't going to get you any closer to what you say is what you really want, ie, property dealt with & name off mortgage..
That can ONLY be done by application to the family court.. As I said, it's a cheap DIY application that will compel her to respond & things can get moving. You don't need to communicate with her & risk a breach of a protection order ... She just gets served & it's mediated from there as per court rules ....
yeah, why not fight this through the legal channels. Get educated (this site is good start) and write your own application for court for kids and assets. Totally worth doing in my view. At least that way you can say you did all you could to have a relationship with the kids.
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