NSW Visitation hours / school

[Christina91b]

My posts state that their visitation times according to the orders ends 9am Mondays, the step mother kept her til 3pm. Disobeying orders or not? No it's not an issue in itself to me UNLESS it becomes a regular occurance as my daughter's education is important.

Sammy01 You seem very hateful towards mothers and/or full time carers. Not everyone is like your ex and I feel sorry that your opinion is purely "every dad out there is a victim, mum's are bitches." My daughter's mental health would suffer extremely if they did get 50/50 care, you know nothing of our situation so you shouldn't judge so harshly.

 

[sammy01]

When did I write that every mum is a b***h and every did a victim. Don't put words in my mouth. Where did I say anything to suggest I am hateful towards mothers? seriously, find one line of what I wrote. But before you do that look back at your posts - you appear to think you are great and dad is not. That is obvious.

The kid appeared sick and an adult made a call about what should happen. You have a problem with that.... Not me and I can tell with confidence on a law forum that you are in the wrong here. Don't agree? take dad to court and see how you go.

I gave good advice - get back to us when you have a 3 month history of dad refusing to take the kid to school on Monday. Until you've got that you're wasting your time posting here because this is a one off and your refusal to accept that demonstrates that you're intent on being stupid instead of realising the reality of a normal situation.

 

[Christina91b]

When did I write that every mum is a b***h and every did a victim. Don't put words in my mouth. Where did I say anything to suggest I am hateful towards mothers? seriously, find one line of what I wrote. But before you do that look back at your posts - you appear to think you are great and dad is not. That is obvious.

The kid appeared sick and an adult made a call about what should happen. You have a problem with that.... Not me and I can tell with confidence on a law forum that you are in the wrong here. Don't agree? take dad to court and see how you go.

I gave good advice - get back to us when you have a 3 month history of dad refusing to take the kid to school on Monday. Until you've got that you're wasting your time posting here because this is a one off and your refusal to accept that demonstrates that you're intent on being stupid instead of realising the reality of a normal situation.

SO, you're saying he IS allowed to make a decision to keep her home when it's NOT his allocated time? That just doesn't seem right to me.

I never said her dad is a bad person, he just doesn't put her best interest at heart when he makes decisions because he is spiteful towards me. That doesn't mean i want him to have nothing to do with her. I just believe to prevent unnecessary conflict the orders should be followed - and i cannot tell him "Can you please obey the order" if i myself do not understand something in particular aka the question at hand - where you seem to think he can make whatever decisions when it's not during his visitation schedule. Would be nice to have a different opinion from somebody who isn't out to only defend the oh so many vulnerable innocent dad's out there (which might i add, alot of them actually are terrible people but you clearly don't comprehend that.) I've read other posts, you have been a sarcastic smart alec to several mothers on here whom are just wanting some advice without being called "stupid" *rolls eyes*. But by all means, act as if you're not just someone who can't get over how badly his ex has treated him.

 

[Atticus]

It appears all 3 members that have commented on your question so far agree that this doesn't warrant the energy you are giving it, & I also think the same..... This 'breach' of orders as you are making it out to be, isn't a breach at all.....The fact is, orders or not, the parent with whom a child is at the time has to make a judgment call in these sorts of circumstances.... If she had been sent to school genuinely ill you'd be upset about that... They made the call to keep her home for the day, maybe as a precaution... Good call..This didn't even include an overnight, just 1 school day... Most definitely not worth the worry

 

[GlassHalfFull]

Sammy, it isn't really just because they didn't "follow her instructions" though, they also didn't follow the court orders.

Christina, it does sound in this case like it was an exceptional circumstance though, at least this time and about this particular issue. Sure, orders should be obeyed as much as possible to prevent unnecessary conflict, but perhaps in this instance you're the one creating or at least increasing conflict? I mean, would there be any conflict if you simply accepted it as a once-off exceptional event and moved on? It's not like he's withholding the child completely; obviously that would be a more significant breach. One day you might feel the need to keep the child at home if she's feeling too unwell to travel to his house on his given day?

I suspect this is likely to be one of those cases where nobody, likely even the court, is going to care that much unless it's seriously affecting the child's education or development or relationship with one or either parent. As I've found when dealing with injustices, the court really doesn't want to hear all the little niggles and gripes that either parent has with the parenting of the other, and they're unlikely to intervene unless it's fairly clear that there is a problem that is only going to get worse for the child if it's left unsolved. I see your point that it might, but I suppose you'd have to convince the court of that. You could take it back to court and file a breach of the orders and see what happens. My guess is that the other parent is going to be able to acknowledge that it was a breach but that it was minor, it was once off, did not significantly affect your time with the child and it was to allow the child to recover from illness with the minimum disruption. I doubt there would be any punishment for such a breach that would make it worth putting the time, energy and money into.

Better to just keep a notepad with the breaches and once you have a list that as a collection is probably worthy of consideration, then take it to court.

 

[sammy01]

So firstly, I do understand there are some terrible dad's out there. Yes I comprehend that. Unlike you, I'm also well aware that there are some women out there who are just as bad...

So 2 other people have supported my assertion - this is not a big deal. As a one off you should let it go. Infact you might even be able to see it as the dad doing the best he could. I understand that clearly there is tension here between you and him. However, un-like you, I understand that for there to be tension both parents need to be stupid. You are stupid, by the way I've had a few bouts of stupidity myself. The stress of family law will do that. It is part of why I waste my time helping people like you, so you don't have to be stupid.
So guess what, I reckon you need to go for a long walk and start asking yourself if you could play this game differently. See, my hair went grey at 35. White - old lady grey because of the stress of this BS. My ex went all wrinkly and I'm sure the stress over that 4-5 year period will impact on the overal length of my life. WHY because of stupid arguments like this one.. Unlike you I have realised that every fight isn't worth having and having every fight makes you stupid....

So take dad to court if you want. BUT you will not win. It will be a waste of time.

Dad is awesome - he sorted a solution, it was a good solution. I'm guessing he may well have chosen that path of action for 2 reasons.
1. The kid was sick.
2. He didn't want to talk to you because you would have gone on a crazy rant about the orders and he really didn't wanna be bothered with that and a sick kid.

You asked the question - Must he follow the court orders. YES and NO.
Yes court orders should be followed.
AND
No because the court orders can't prepare the world for every situation. There is this thing called common sense. The courts realise this too.
So here is a link
Breaching a Family Law Order - Go To Court Lawyers
What is a reasonable excuse? The very first one is protecting someone's health and safety. Dad breached the orders because of a sick kid so he had a reasonable excuse

So not for the first time - THIS IS NOT A BIG DEAL. Get back to use once it has happened every Monday for 3 months. AND take daughter this weekend and buy a present for dad to say thanks for helping out when the kid was sick. Call dad and ask if he'd like to have the kid for an additional night some time soon and stress less. Your hair will not go grey, you will live longer and the world will be a better place. Go on dare ya.

Now apologise for the personal attacks on me.

 

[Christina91b]

Sammy, it isn't really just because they didn't "follow her instructions" though, they also didn't follow the court orders.

Christina, it does sound in this case like it was an exceptional circumstance though, at least this time and about this particular issue. Sure, orders should be obeyed as much as possible to prevent unnecessary conflict, but perhaps in this instance you're the one creating or at least increasing conflict? I mean, would there be any conflict if you simply accepted it as a once-off exceptional event and moved on? It's not like he's withholding the child completely; obviously that would be a more significant breach. One day you might feel the need to keep the child at home if she's feeling too unwell to travel to his house on his given day?

I suspect this is likely to be one of those cases where nobody, likely even the court, is going to care that much unless it's seriously affecting the child's education or development or relationship with one or either parent. As I've found when dealing with injustices, the court really doesn't want to hear all the little niggles and gripes that either parent has with the parenting of the other, and they're unlikely to intervene unless it's fairly clear that there is a problem that is only going to get worse for the child if it's left unsolved. I see your point that it might, but I suppose you'd have to convince the court of that. You could take it back to court and file a breach of the orders and see what happens. My guess is that the other parent is going to be able to acknowledge that it was a breach but that it was minor, it was once off, did not significantly affect your time with the child and it was to allow the child to recover from illness with the minimum disruption. I doubt there would be any punishment for such a breach that would make it worth putting the time, energy and money into.

Better to just keep a notepad with the breaches and once you have a list that as a collection is probably worthy of consideration, then take it to court.

I don't believe I have created unneccessary conflict as I haven't contacted the father of my worries about her missing school if it becomes a regular occurance. And i do have a list of many orders breached, I wasn't sure if this is one to add but I personally think it is if it becomes a regular problem (Not if it were a once-off which I only think it won't be due to how they have both been this year)

Sammy01, you only know of one minor thing. "Take Dad to court and you will not win" lol, you don't even know anything of the past 7 years. You've based that judgement on me because I enquired about something minor, when there are real issues. The latter I can handle because I do know right from wrong, what is a problem and what isn't a problem. Ofcourse I'm not stupid enough to take him to court over keeping her home for one day & you appear to think I'm the one that starts arguments, that involves my daughter in drama by bringing other people down, mentally abusive, violent, etc No it's the other way around and I do the best I can to keep things drama-free hence why I argued my thoughts here instead of directly to the father. If I did that, then no it wouldn't have been a civil conversation between us because that can be impossible at times with him. He is built up on hate just like yourself. Sometimes the orders are the only thing that can be used when he thinks he has so much power over my family and I. For example; i have a son and husband also, when my daughter were 4 years old he wanted just my daughter and i to relocate out of state and follow him wherever he goes, leave my family and our hometown because he thought he could get whatever he wanted. He asked this of the judge whom couldn't even take him seriously. That is the kind of person I have to deal with. His needs/wants above all.

 

[sammy01]

oh dear - Yep I only know of "one minor thing" because that is all the information YOU provided, yep I know nothing of the past 7 years WHY? I can't read your mind - You came here looking for advice and that is what I have to give an opinion based on the information you gave me. You don't like the advice so you make personal attacks?

Respectfully, I am not full of hate. I just provided some advice, I took some time out of my life to give you an opinion. I supported it with a link to a reputable source to prove I know what I'm talking about and for all that, what do you give in return? A thank you? nope. Personal attacks.

Why come here asking for opinions only to attack those opinions?

 

[Christina91b]

oh dear - Yep I only know of "one minor thing" because that is all the information YOU provided, yep I know nothing of the past 7 years WHY? I can't read your mind - You came here looking for advice and that is what I have to give an opinion based on the information you gave me. You don't like the advice so you make personal attacks?

Respectfully, I am not full of hate. I just provided some advice, I took some time out of my life to give you an opinion. I supported it with a link to a reputable source to prove I know what I'm talking about and for all that, what do you give in return? A thank you? nope. Personal attacks.

Why come here asking for opinions only to attack those opinions?

It's so obvious! The way you respond to me and others is literally pro-dads they can do no wrong, they only make rational decisions - f**k the mums because they MUST be a piece of s**t like my ex.

 

[Christina91b]

oh dear - Yep I only know of "one minor thing" because that is all the information YOU provided, yep I know nothing of the past 7 years WHY? I can't read your mind - You came here looking for advice and that is what I have to give an opinion based on the information you gave me. You don't like the advice so you make personal attacks?

Respectfully, I am not full of hate. I just provided some advice, I took some time out of my life to give you an opinion. I supported it with a link to a reputable source to prove I know what I'm talking about and for all that, what do you give in return? A thank you? nope. Personal attacks.

Why come here asking for opinions only to attack those opinions?

I just can't comprehend how you think the father was being the ultimate dad by keeping her home when it's most likely for selfish reasons, with my daughter faking being sick (as she does) and to extend the time for his partner. Just don't comprehend the praise when you do not know him at all.