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NSW Victim Of Covert Narcissist.

Discussion in 'Criminal Law Forum' started by Brokendown, 17 January 2018.

  1. Brokendown

    Brokendown New Member

    17 January 2018
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    Seeking help from anyone in similar situations.

    The day I married my wife, her behaviour changed. The perfect soul mate vanished and an evil vindictive manipulative liar started showing.

    Over 13 years and 3 kids later, my wife called the police countless times. I now know every time I would zone in on my wife after suspecting she was cheating on me would result in me being charged and slapped with an AVO.

    In 13 years I have had 6x AVOs and 14 chargers, all of which she would not appear in court because I would uncover her secrets.

    in 2016, one weekend morning, my wife came to me and said, check this out and handed her phone to me. It was a property evaluation. My response was "yes and we just bought this 4 years ago". She smiled and walked away. I knew she had plans again.

    The whole day, she was constantly provoking. By midnight, I was in a jail cell again. I got the cop from hell and was treated like a dog for things I did not do. No history of her not showing to courts on hearings were taken into account and I was left homeless because she planned the execution as soon as my parents went overseas.

    I went to take my life. I did not succeed and thought it was time to try and save myself. Long story, she basically did this for self-satisfaction and purposely to get max out of a divorce.

    One day she called me even though I was on an AVO. We met and she told me someone she met advised that her behaviour was BPD. She cried - she said sorry for all the times she falsely and purposely had me charged. 14 charges, not guilty.

    She went to a hospital acting like she was fixing herself. I now know she only did it to convince me she was trying. She would go to court and say she lied straight out. Not one magistrate noted it on record. She also would go to police tell them to charge her for lying and they wouldn't. You can bet your bottom dollar the police kept going harder on me.

    She kept whinging at the hospital that I didn't spend enough time with her. She came out a week later and promised to go to counselling. She failed to attend twice. We went to the doctor who gave a course of anti-depressants. She had the course and one morning 2 months later, I questioned why she stopped and told her I feared she would do it again. She turned and said 'I am not the problem, you are'.

    I knew that moment she would do it again and every time was worse for me than last and my psychological health majorly impacted.

    When she admitted she had a problem, I asked her if she agreed that I monitor her phone so I can try and deflect the worst. She agreed.

    Within 8 months, her behaviour was the worst. I was accused of being a drug addict, a drug dealer, a bad father, an abuser, etc, etc. I would leave the house and she would call friends and say 'he just left; didn't say where hes going', and basically how crap I was as a father and a husband. I worked over 100hrs a week to make sure we paid off the house quick and the kids had everything.

    It was so hard listening to what she told people about me. Complete horrific stories. One call answered all my questions. I caught her lying and manipulating the kids and bang I found it. She was a narcissist. Every box ticked. I was in trouble and knew it.

    I caught her lying and when she knew I knew she lied, she sat for 50 seconds then called my auntie and basically told her the worst. Me, at this time, not knowing I called my auntie and was told off immediately. I didn't do drugs and am a professional and work full time. I then listened to the recording was really stunned.

    She was making plans with my auntie to put me in an institution. I reacted and then my whole family was convinced by her I was crazy. No one came to see my evidence,

    Long story shor,t it was over for her. She just couldn't manipulate me any more, took my kids and haven't seen or talked to the kids for 8 months. She threatened my mum by saying she would claim sexual abuse against my daughter and put my mum in hospital from shock.

    She reported child abuse to police saying I punched my son in the face and slapped my daughter. She [produced photos of my son with a bruise on the cheek, in which he staked his scooter and a photo of my daughter with a hand mark, clearly not mine].

    Police didn't pursue this.

    She is the abuser. I have videos and audio of her disgusting behaviour. It is shocking. She walks into a police station says I texted her after she said stop. She feared she said. Enter AVO 7. No charges.

    I struggle to cope with what she is doing and the NSW Police are disgusting as they are pushing hard to get a 2 yr AVO. My children are clearly now showing the same behaviours as her

    I went to the police in location A and showed my recordings. They wanted to charge her, but because she was now residing in her comfort zone, police in Location B who didn't get one of 14 charges through. Basically they don't listen at all. Police A agree her behaviour is bad. Police B keep hammering me.

    I have had 10 AVO checks after showing police B in 2.5 months. The matter was withdrawn because police A didn't pursue the AVO due to my showing of evidence she is a narcissist.

    Compliance check 9 was the same lying officer from 12 months earlier. I told him I don't have an AVO it was removed and he tried to convince me I am lying. The same officer kicked my door after I went to close it.

    All evidence recorded of the incidents. That officer organised another AVO from the facts from the original and said my behaviour was out of like on the checkup they fear her safety and seek 24 month AVO, Back to court I go.

    I went to attend court and was served with papers. I am given an application and I need to appear in the federal cicuit court. She is claiming abuse wants 80% assets wants my name off deed of house wants me to pay for legal costs and I can see my kids 4 hours a fortnight supervised only.

    All her allegations are false and proven. Her abuse is real and everything on the documents are facts changed and basically all allegations

    I have all the videos and all the audio recordings of her abusing the children. I have all the real facts of finances. I am going for a hearing for the AVO as I can prove without any doubt her reality is just custard. I know she believes her stories but they just aren't real.

    She has had an AVO by an outsider once 5 years ago. I have never had any issues till I married her.

    The previous year when she wanted me back and felt guilty from what she did she agreed to allow me to monitor her phone to call out when the behaviour started again. I have text proof secondly a heap of recordings of her lies and abuse of kids.

    "The only way to get the house back is with an AVO" A conversation with her auntie. The response well I will get one then you get one.

    I can't believe this is my wife. Not taking any responsibility and thinking the last decade she is a victim of abuse that never happened. She runs around first chance and smears the hell out of me saying stuff that's horrific like I punched her and kicked her when she was pregnant. I have that in proof also.

    Her affidavit is 80% lies. She is claiming fear that I will take kids overseas and fears I will physically hurt her and the kids. I have never touched her in my life.

    She stole my passport, has used it to transfer accounts for phone and other things and that's no crime according to police B.

    I am now about to see a solicitor solely to have her charged for everything she is doing, especially abusing my kids. My psychologist and doctor disturbed by the recording reported her to Docs. Being the professional Narcissist she gets away with it. Mind you docs never see me to show them proof.

    She has recordings of herself going to police stations saying she lied, that she is diagnosed and that she doesn't care if they arrest her cause it is under mental health act.

    On this paper work she says nothing is wrong with her and that I am a druggo.

    I have recordings of her showing my kids videos of fathers throwing their children over bridges and you can hear my little one become scared and say cuddle cuddle and she just ignores her.

    She steals my keys on purpose because my daughter has an excursion and must be at school by 9:05am sharp. She stole them so she would miss the bus and dad is a s**t father.

    She has been caught out for everything. No one wants to hear or see my evidence.

    Where is this going to go given my evidence? Without reasonable doubt she is a narcissist - her reality is false. My kids are scared of me thinking I will kill them. They have a safe room apparently and if I ever show up they are to hide.

    My whole life is ruined by this person. I have all the evidence she has stories with no proof.

    What's my future here guys? Given the amount of evidence what will happen in my case?

    I am pushing for her prosecution immediately. I am seeking my solicitor to go to the police for me and have this done.

    My case is an example that needs exposure. Personality disordered women need to be prosecuted.

    I can't get a job easily due to the record of allegations. No convictions, just allegations by a covert narcissist.

    Any tips would really help me.
    #1 Brokendown, 17 January 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: 17 January 2018
  2. Clancy

    Clancy Well-Known Member

    6 April 2016
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    Are you asking for legal advice or emotional advice?

    Sounds like you are all over the place emotionally,... who can blame you, some hugely heavy hitting (emotionally) s**t going on here.... so, so then you need to get your head on straight before dealing with this legally.

    I would recommend starting with personal counseling - try Relationships Australia. .... try to step back and breathe, get some perspective.

    In the meantime here is a little inspiration to start with - link for you; (especially from 323 onward)
  3. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

    27 September 2015
    Likes Received:
    should have posted in family law section..
    emotional advice - Mensline has a similar forum to help blokes
    Free help, support, referrals & counselling for men: MensLine Australia
    shrink4men is gonna be interesting reading - check there conversations on you tube too..
    It should not impact on your ability to get a job (other than the likely lack of confidence you're feeling as a result of the abuse)

    stay strong. and post in the family law section for legal advice on learning how to make the best out of our crappy family law system...
    Little ray of sunshine for you... Been there done that . I'm not one for diagnosing people... Dr's can do that not me... So rather than use any medical / psychologist terminology... I simply refer to her as a nutter... She demanded 105% of assets (no typo- 105%) sole parental responsibility of children... Tried to get me charged with breach of avo on lots of occasions.... So similar story to you... I got kicked out when the youngest was 6 months old... I had a few tough years there but by the time the youngest was 4 the three kids were living with me and spending some time with their mum during the holidays...

    Sure the holiday periods come with some crazy stuff... But on the whole the kids are remarkably well adjusted given the BS they experienced.... Between you and me... I do think nutter's are the ones most likely to walk away from their kids when something else comes along..

    Forget getting her prosecuted for anything criminal NO CHANCE and it will probably hurt your case as far as family law stuff goes... PAY ATTENTION... your priority MUST be getting maximum time with the kids through lawful means... You need to learn how to play the game well. Chasing her for criminal stuff aint gonna help. Put your energy into learning about family law and how to play that game... You're already well screwed, but don't worry you can recover... and still get a good result. You will not win... No one wins in family law... But you can get a good result... If you're a little bit lucky, a lot smart and a lot more strategic....

    Did I mention that my kids now live with me? Yup I know I did, but I still get a thrill in typing it... Just sounds like something Shakespeare wrote, or is that just me?
  4. LiamOnTheLam

    LiamOnTheLam Member

    22 January 2018
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    I'm afraid I don't have anything constructive to add on the legal side, but I had to post just to say that I'm very sorry you're in this situation. It's incredible the amounts of abuse we can weather when love (or at least what started as love) is involved. I know it may not help much, but you're not alone mate. I know two others in a similar crappy situation... nowhere near as advanced as the mess you've ended up with here, but both still involve children from the dysfunctional unions, which makes everything that much harder and more heartbreaking.

    It can be incredibly unfair when many things are weighted against you getting a fair go, but end of the day you have to do whatever you can to keep the family courts happy with you, and in time (far too much time, but eventually) you will be able to reconnect with your kiddos and begin down the road of undoing the damage. It gets better, it really does. Just have to learn how to 'play the game', as Sammy puts it.

    As a bonus, eventually some of her garbage should also come more into the light and authorities will take notice, but that can't be your priority, it's honestly just so much more work and stress and won't achieve what you really want. In your situation, justice (and shaming of the real criminal who's damaging your life and children) is mostly a pipe dream, you need to instead aim for access to your kids, a much more realistic target and one which will go a long way to helping you realise how much less that the other stuff matters in the long run. Wishing you all the best mate.
    Clancy likes this.
  5. Karen mcguane

    Karen mcguane Well-Known Member

    14 February 2018
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  6. Karen mcguane

    Karen mcguane Well-Known Member

    14 February 2018
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    Go anywhere please do not use Relationship Australia nasty place

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