Hi Guys,
I have been happily married for 19 years and have a nine-year-old and six months old. I have never had any complaints/police matters or even traffic offences against me. Here's a summary of the events that left me with an IVO.
Since the birth of our six months old, my wife's behaviour has changed. She is ten years younger than me. My wife and I have worked all our lives; she took a 1-year break when our eldest was born. With the newborn, she went back to work just after three months and works full time now. Her parents are staying with us for the past six months and are here till December to help with the newborn. I never forced my wife to go back to work, and it was her decision to have her parents here so she could go back to work. For the past three months, she and her parents have been ignoring me. They'd mostly talk and spend time together in her parent's room without me, having the door shut all the time. She is also very careless with the newborn and would often leave the infant on the floor unattended with the 9yo running around, forgets to harness him when in the cradle or car seat (and completely ignores me if I tell her to put the baby in the harness). She even forgot the baby in the bathtub with the nine-year-old who tried to pour hot water on the baby, thinking the baby is cold. At these times, I have tried to tell her that it's not safe for the baby, but she has ignored me.
Last weekend, I had my brother over with his 6YO. My wife left the baby again on the floor, and my eldest and the 6yo were running around the baby. I panicked and raised my voice, asking the 9yo to be careful. She came out and asked me not to say anything to the 9yo and took both the 9yo and the baby in her parent's room. After my brother left, I asked the 9yo to be careful with the baby as it could be dangerous. She and her parents came out and said that I am too harsh with the 9yo and we had an argument in which I asked her parents to go back to their home if they don't like it here. She couldn't handle that and went back into the room with the 9yo and her mother while her father and I calmed down and discussed how to settle calmly. His father complained that I come home late at night for the past two weeks, and I reminded him that I am doing a course at TAFE to which he agreed. While we were calmly talking, there was a knock at the door, and I was surprised to see the police. The moment missus opened the door, she put the 9yo in front of the cops, and the officer asked him if I had hit him to which he said yes. Officer then asked my father in law if he had seen it to which he said no. In the statement, police wrote that the AFM has confirmed there was no physical violence against her but I have been aggressive and controlling, and I held the 9YO from his arm and smacked him on his torso. In the report, it was written that the respondent was worried about the baby's safety and yelled at the 9yo, and there have been no other reports of any domestic violence. Also that there were no visible bruises anywhere on my eldest's body. I was served with an interim IVO and was asked to leave and attend a magistrates court in 3 days. I couldn't make sense of what has happened and thought it was the heat of the moment that has lead to this, so I attended the magistrates' court thinking it'll be all over. I had never been to court or police station before that. Once at the court, I was advised that I should get a lawyer asap. Through a friends reference, I called a lawyer who asked for payment in cash and came in 20 minutes late. Without hearing me out, he spoke to the police and asked me to consent without admission. I didn't know what that means so I did what he told me hoping I'd get a chance to say something to the magistrate. It was all over soon, and I was served with a 12-month final IVO restricting me from the house and kids.
My biggest mistake was not to prepare myself for the court. Missus told the police that the marriage is over and she wants a divorce. I still can't make sense of how and why she is thinking along those line as this wasn't even a heated argument. I believe I am falsely accused and want to get back together with the family. IVO was put in place by the police. Both my sons and the missus are on the IVO as protected persons. IVO strangely also had an exception that allows me to text/email my wife regarding our children and any childcare arrangements( even though this contradicts with the kids being on the IVO as the protected persons) so I sent her a text and with no response.
I have been reading a lot lately and wondering if someone can advise on my situation and tell me if there is any benefit in contesting the order in the county court or if anything can be done in my case. I am devastated and stressed out, trying to make sense of what has happened.
I have been happily married for 19 years and have a nine-year-old and six months old. I have never had any complaints/police matters or even traffic offences against me. Here's a summary of the events that left me with an IVO.
Since the birth of our six months old, my wife's behaviour has changed. She is ten years younger than me. My wife and I have worked all our lives; she took a 1-year break when our eldest was born. With the newborn, she went back to work just after three months and works full time now. Her parents are staying with us for the past six months and are here till December to help with the newborn. I never forced my wife to go back to work, and it was her decision to have her parents here so she could go back to work. For the past three months, she and her parents have been ignoring me. They'd mostly talk and spend time together in her parent's room without me, having the door shut all the time. She is also very careless with the newborn and would often leave the infant on the floor unattended with the 9yo running around, forgets to harness him when in the cradle or car seat (and completely ignores me if I tell her to put the baby in the harness). She even forgot the baby in the bathtub with the nine-year-old who tried to pour hot water on the baby, thinking the baby is cold. At these times, I have tried to tell her that it's not safe for the baby, but she has ignored me.
Last weekend, I had my brother over with his 6YO. My wife left the baby again on the floor, and my eldest and the 6yo were running around the baby. I panicked and raised my voice, asking the 9yo to be careful. She came out and asked me not to say anything to the 9yo and took both the 9yo and the baby in her parent's room. After my brother left, I asked the 9yo to be careful with the baby as it could be dangerous. She and her parents came out and said that I am too harsh with the 9yo and we had an argument in which I asked her parents to go back to their home if they don't like it here. She couldn't handle that and went back into the room with the 9yo and her mother while her father and I calmed down and discussed how to settle calmly. His father complained that I come home late at night for the past two weeks, and I reminded him that I am doing a course at TAFE to which he agreed. While we were calmly talking, there was a knock at the door, and I was surprised to see the police. The moment missus opened the door, she put the 9yo in front of the cops, and the officer asked him if I had hit him to which he said yes. Officer then asked my father in law if he had seen it to which he said no. In the statement, police wrote that the AFM has confirmed there was no physical violence against her but I have been aggressive and controlling, and I held the 9YO from his arm and smacked him on his torso. In the report, it was written that the respondent was worried about the baby's safety and yelled at the 9yo, and there have been no other reports of any domestic violence. Also that there were no visible bruises anywhere on my eldest's body. I was served with an interim IVO and was asked to leave and attend a magistrates court in 3 days. I couldn't make sense of what has happened and thought it was the heat of the moment that has lead to this, so I attended the magistrates' court thinking it'll be all over. I had never been to court or police station before that. Once at the court, I was advised that I should get a lawyer asap. Through a friends reference, I called a lawyer who asked for payment in cash and came in 20 minutes late. Without hearing me out, he spoke to the police and asked me to consent without admission. I didn't know what that means so I did what he told me hoping I'd get a chance to say something to the magistrate. It was all over soon, and I was served with a 12-month final IVO restricting me from the house and kids.
My biggest mistake was not to prepare myself for the court. Missus told the police that the marriage is over and she wants a divorce. I still can't make sense of how and why she is thinking along those line as this wasn't even a heated argument. I believe I am falsely accused and want to get back together with the family. IVO was put in place by the police. Both my sons and the missus are on the IVO as protected persons. IVO strangely also had an exception that allows me to text/email my wife regarding our children and any childcare arrangements( even though this contradicts with the kids being on the IVO as the protected persons) so I sent her a text and with no response.
I have been reading a lot lately and wondering if someone can advise on my situation and tell me if there is any benefit in contesting the order in the county court or if anything can be done in my case. I am devastated and stressed out, trying to make sense of what has happened.