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VIC Restraining Order - Possible to Dismiss at First Hearing?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by beanie, 20 July 2015.

  1. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    Hi all,

    The story is long and complex. After consulting with various domestic violence helplines, I realised with great horror an ex-boyfriend is abusing the process of IVO ( restraining order) to harass me.

    Him and his father (whom I don't know from a bar of soap - so whatever his dad said could only have come directly from my ex) had gone to police and court to accuse me of a variety of deeds such as prank calls and 'threatening' emails from fake accounts and fake orders - essentially nothing that they can directly associate with me. It was said that I am a sending them threatening SMS from payphones, I am a trained cage fighter (?!) and the dates of our communication and dating period is completely off. Yet based on these wild accusations there are 2 interim orders in place against me.

    Essentially there are very few sustainable facts in the applications and there are a number of few key facts are severely wrong that I can prove in a heartbeat. My ex knew I suffered from depressions and is emotionally fragile. In the course of these allegations and police arrest (no charge), I went into severe depression and had to be hospitalised under assess order for 5 days.

    These applications are vexatious and I have means to prove that, but I would like to know from experience if anyone knows I can, during first hearing:
    1). Revoke interim order on basis of vexatious proceeding - it is easy for him to create fake emails/SMS at any point to get the police to arrest me on probable cause of 'breach' of IVO.
    2). Apply for cost order should he withdraw his application at any stage or be unsuccessful in final hearing
    3). Request leave of court for LLRO

    Any help will be much appreciated. This man had shown in various ways he wants some real damage in my life, either a big law suit, a criminal record or to literally go mental.
     
  2. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    Are police charging you with any concurrent offences?
     
  3. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    No charges from police, not harassment or stalking, no any other charges. They didn't even take my fingerprints.
     
  4. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    It's unlikely you will have the matter dismissed at first mention because the mention only determines if there are enough elements provided by the aggrieved to demonstrate that family or domestic violence has taken place in circumstances where there is or was a domestic relationship. The judge will ask if you wish to accept the terms of the restraining order, either with or without admissions (that is, admission of guilt) or contest it. That's about the extent of it for the mention. Ordinarily, the court will place an interim intervention order against the aggrieved as a precautionary measure.

    If you contest, you'll go to trial, which is where you can endeavour to have the application dismissed. Alternatively, you might stand a chance of having the matter resolved quickly by proposing undertakings to the other party, which is an informal (e.g. not court enforced) agreement that you won't commit any acts of domestic violence against the other party. This means if you contravene the orders, the other party will have to apply for a domestic order again, rather than going straight for a criminal charge of contravening the order, but orders may be granted more swiftly if that were to take place.

    Please note that restraining orders are not criminal proceedings. This means that you won't have a criminal conviction against you if you accept the restraining order, and doing so without admissions does not mean you're admitting guilt. Restraining orders are largely civil proceedings and only become criminal proceedings if a person contravenes the orders.

    Anyway, I hope this helps.
     
  5. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    Hi, I know an intervention order is not a criminal record and consenting it doesn't mean I admit to anything. I would like to avoid court at all cost too, but I have reasons to believe he may make use of the order whether interim or intervention to harass me. Given that the allegations are so thin he can make things up to keep getting me arrested. I know it's hard to get convicted of a breach but to even be arrest one more time is something that will send me to a very bad place again
     
  6. ixmexda

    ixmexda Active Member

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    I had the same problem but unfortunately the police charged me criminally because they could not comprehend i was the victim.

    My experience is that at the first hearing you can't say your version of events and even when you go to directions you can't tell your story etc etc, and then the other party file further and better particulars which is more lies and at the end of the day it is soo emotionally draining to contest matter, and the courts are reluctant to let it go to a contest hearing. i had 6 hearings and didnt reach contest.

    What i learnt, Get your own intervention order, it will be a cross application and outline the false allegations are to control or to make you fearful, your story will be under oath and the judge will see both stories when resolving matter. It is likely orders will be made, but it will mean the police will need undeniable proof for him to breech you. I am suggesting to use this to protect yourself, not to make false claims to breach him.

    I was charged with breaching 19 times, and remanded on a show cause basis, and it is not fun. You need to protect yourself, but don't try to get justice from the system, it doesnt exist.
    if your ex is as psychotic as mine, i would suggest doing everything possible to create doubt in the event you are questioned, it may not be admissable in court but if you give police a reason to doubt alkegations, they wont charge you.
    it sounds insane, but i have the app IFTTT on my phone and every hour it records my location (or i should say my phones location) to a spreadsheet.
    i also back up my phone log, and have used this previously to show that i was on phone when i was supposed to have made phone call on private number to ex partner.
     
  7. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    Hi Ixmexda,
    Thank you so much for sharing your story. It made me feel so much less alone. You are so right that the court does not give justice. I was there today for the cross application and the judge didn't want to give me interim order because there was no recent contact. I said all truth and was given no protection, he went and lied about many things and got protection?! How is that?

    The judge even ask me why I took so long to make a cross application. I had been trying to mediate and that crazy ex doesn't want to. I am actually been penalised for that. Unreal.

    I now know why the police didn't charge me- I said so many things that contradict what he said they are starting to doubt his story.

    How is your case now? Is there more hearing or going to over soon? How come 6 hearings later and still no contest?
     
  8. ixmexda

    ixmexda Active Member

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    Oh I didn't mention the lectures from the judge that make you feel like an absolute moron. Don't let it get you down.

    I had the same attitude from police, I didn't report my ex because I am scared of his retaliation.

    My story is a bit more complex then I revealed, my ex made false reports to police who took out io, then that made my kids dad take io out on me too, he included my kids on order.
    I was contesting to get kids removed from order, and we kept returning after various family court appearances and then on 6th hearing judge removed children so I agreed to order.
    But it's 2 months later and Guess where I am tomorrow, back at the magistrates court for the second hearing of him attempting to put children back on order ..
    Sadly the intervention order stuff is the least of my worries.

    All I can suggest is minimize the damage to your mental health.
    I have some level of ptsd due to secondary victimization in trying to convince the police and courts.
    I think that if you were hospitalized due to the stress it is vital that you have a support person with you at court, in the west, women's health west are at court on intervention order days so find out if you can get similar support on future court days.
    It may be good to speak with them anyway,
    I can only speak for myself, but I couldn't convince people I was a victim because I was conditioned that I was the problem.
    I read a lot about Narcissist Victim syndrome which explains that abuse is almost like Stockholm syndrome.

    So have you had your hearing for his application? And did police apply for his orders ?
     
  9. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    Hi, ixmexda, I am so sorry to learn about your situation. Things are always more awful when kids are involved. Yes, this is a classic case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. You are right about me appearing like a moron. Sometimes not just to the magistrate but even to some friends too. I suggest also you call 1800 Respect. They were the ones who first made me realize that this was a very elaborate case of emotional and psychological abuse. You should call them, they are 24/7 but the best part is, they keep records of your chat so you don't have to repeat the story every time. One counselor was even kind enough to offer help me write a letter to say to court that I had suffered domestic violence. They were the first people who made me realize I'm not mad.

    I've already had first hearing of my IVO from ex and his dad, and I stated to oppose. Two magistrate heard our cases and asked why this cannot be mediated and I said I want to and have tried. The police applied it for my ex though so they didn't want to drop it. The family didn't want to either.

    And, believe it or not, on that first mention their mum whom I have never met applied for one against me too. In her testimony they also mentioned that I am harassing the sister. I almost wanted to say, why doesn't the sister come too and you guys can be one big cray cray family?!

    It's mental. I have a number of evidence to show they knowingly gave false statement and misled the police and court - that is why they allow me to cross apply. I've also sent the evidence to the police too hoping they will drop the csse. Long shot but worth a try. Now I have another first mention later this month which they will no doubt contest, then it will all go to directions hearing in Sep.

    I'm having to quit work to hide from them. It's just bullshit. But as you said, mental health is most important and I take this chance to recover too. Trying not to think too much apart from collating evidence for the next hearing. I've engaged a lawyer who is kind and sympathetic so that helps. Whatever it takes I'm determined to get this man and his psycho family out of my life not giving them any control over me.

    Keep me informed of your case, I would like to help in anyway I can.
     

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