WA Family Violence Restraining Order

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SamanthaJay

Well-Known Member
4 July 2016
335
55
794
Sarah1983, I know how it feels. The things my ex subjected me to over a period of 30 years. And then when I finally got out, he turned everything around even to the point of writing up his behaviour in affidavits but attributing it to me! His own family at times witnessed his abuse towards me and the kids for all those years and they still make me out to be some evil criminal. Only one of our mutual friends has ever contacted me since I left plus one SIL. Many of his family and our 'friends' were hanging around him like vultures when he was selling off my belongings, our belongings and farm/business materials cheap or destroying them. But I'm the evil b***h because I walked out on 30 years of abuse. It often hits me hard that I can never return to my beautiful home, that I worked so hard for, that it's all his now, that he killed the family pets in the months after I left and the guilt I feel that 2 of his kids refuse to have anything to do with him. They are young adults now. He'll never see them marry, see his grandchildren or share in the joy of their successes in life. We look over our shoulders every day. We think we hear his vehicle pulling up in the driveway, maybe he has the unregistered gun he used to bury in the paddock to hide, maybe he's going to carry out the threat he always promised me he would one day.

I could easily become the psycho ex but they've all choosen what they want to believe and who they'd like to spend time with.

The majority of my life now consists of freedom and choice and free from his abuse. After 2 1/2 years, it's still hard to get used to some days. I often remind myself that there were positive things in those 30 years. Like the hours I got to spend alone at home in my garden, the pets I had and my children. It would be easy to just remember the negative. But I'm not going to give in to that. In my head, that means he has won. But really, I have. He would hate that I have freedom now.

Stand tall Sarah and go on to bigger, brighter and better things. Don't look back.
 

Sarah1983

Active Member
21 January 2018
11
0
31
Thank you SamanthaJay. I am thankful that I was only subjected to it for five years!!! When I was served the orders yesterday a part of me felt relief in that now we legally can't be in each others lives. But also anger and shock that someone would go to that extreme just to avoid having honest conversations with the people in his life about his behaviour. I have had him do the same thing, attribute his behaviours to me in the stories he has told everyone in his life. I have always considered my honesty and integrity my best features and to have my reputation ruined in that way has hit me incredibly hard. I have never come across someone so void of genuine emotion, remorse and compassion, and it has taken a long time to see him for what he really is. As I said before I just feel cheated of justice that someone can lie, cheat and manipulate to the extent he does, and always be able to find a way to get away with it. It never occurred to me that he would go this far to protect the lies everyone else believes, I guess it was his only option knowing I was the one person who could expose him. And he's spent his whole life crafting this persona, clearly he wasn't going to let it all come crashing down.

The more I think about it the more I am thankful I am rid of him for good. He has sucked me back in so many times, I guess it got to a point where he realised he couldn't manipulate me anymore so I no longer served a purpose. I know I will be better off without him, there's just a lot of pain and anger at the moment that will take me some time to work through.

Thank you for your support, I genuinely appreciate it.
 

SamanthaJay

Well-Known Member
4 July 2016
335
55
794
Counselling really helped me. I had one lot of 6 sessions at a very reduced price that the doctor referred me to under a Medicare mental health plan. And I also attended a couple of hypnotherapy sessions that were a huge help.

The restraining order will be a blessing in disguise. You can look at it from both sides. I don't think they have the reputation now that they used to.

I think each day will get better and better for you. It will get to the point where one day you will realise that you haven't even given him a second thought for over a week now!