NSW Relocation Interim Orders ?

[Vet]

Looking for a bit of clarification on my situation just for my own sanity really, so that I'm not alone.

Background ex partner - 3 DVO's, no help with the children, alcohol & Gambling problem, highly abusive to me not the children.

09th May I moved interstate QLD with my children, house, removalist everything to start a new career and to be with my new partner, I got my solicitor to notify my ex partners solicitor and offer change of visitation. My ex disagreed and filed to have the children return on the 10th May. My daughter started her new school and then that afternoon I had a call from the police to come and collect my children unless I relocated back to NSW immediately this was very traumatic for myself and my children as they were very happy. Now for my ex partner to get this he deemed me an unfit mother and a drug abuser - never have I been in my life and bluntly lied about it all to get me back, now I have gone to court on the 11th May to re instate the current visitation through solicitors and hand over the family home and family car to him because I want to relocate to make sure I am amicable.
I have been amicable for the last 3 months with no employment my daughter forced to stay in a school she dislikes, I have had to put my career on hold, my new partnership is weathered and I'm paying rent for a house I am not living in oh an to top it off I'm living with the only relatives I have in the area my 80 year old grandparents until my Interim Hearing for relocation come the 4th Aug.
We are suppose to communicate about the children but he is now doing everything like a good father should have he has become father of the year doing all outside school activities and paying for them and so on and making me out to be the one that has done nothing for the children and not communicating with me all in regards to what he does with the kids but yet I have to ask permission to leave the town to see my dad or mum who both live 3.5 hours away due to a 20K radius placed on my children when the recovery order was put in place.

In this time he has breached the AVO I have in place on him twice with abusive text messages etc.

Now my court date is coming near and I am freaking out I have a solicitor and barrister ready to go. But I am petrified of the outcome, I really need this career move, my children will have me home more and I will be on more money, my new partner has children 2 hours away and I have put to the court that I will do all the 5 hours driving each way to make sure the ex can see the children once a month and school holiday periods and skype time every week !
I really need this for my sanity and I am wondering what the chances are that I will get this move on my interim hearing ?

Anyone else had this issue anyone else in the same predicament ?

Advice on this matter would be greatly appreciated ?

Thankyou

 

[AllForHer]

I apologise in advance because I don't think you're going to like what I have to say, but I prefer to be realistic than just supportive.

Some problems that I can see.

You attempted to relocate without the father's consent. That shows you don't value his input as a parent, but more importantly, it shows you don't value your kids' right to have a relationship with him. It's also quite telling that you recognise how distance imposes on your relationship with your parents, and your partner's relationship with his kids, but seem to have significantly less compassion for how distance will impose on your daughter's relationship with her dad...

Your reasons for moving are not persuasive, given the fact that you attempted to relocate the kids unilaterally. You really need to have a supremeley good reason for making any major decisions unilaterally, and insofar as I can tell, having a new partner and seeking a new career doesn't exempt you from seeking your ex's permission to take the kids with you.

Three AVOs with no convicted breaches and a gambling problem don't prove the father is abusive or an unfit parent, and neither does alcoholism if it's never resulted in any tangible consequences to the kids, like a DUI or a drunken assault or some such. Even if you raise it as an issue, the Court might order a few random drug and alcohol tests or an injunction on alcohol consumption before and during his time with the kids, but the solution certainly isn't for you to take off with the kids, is it?

To the contrary, if dad has turned over a new leaf, is doing everything he can to be a good father for his kids, you should really be quite ecstatic about that. Isn't that what every mother should want from her child's father?

To me, though, it doesn't sound like dad has been as uninvolved as you'd maybe like to have me believe. Court is pretty costly. I don't know a great many dads who have spent the time and money seeking recovery orders for kids they have no involvement, and no interest, in raising.

So, my assessment?

If you have shown no genuine ability to support the child's relationship with dad, it's going to be difficult to persuade the Court that it can expect anything different from you if you were allowed to relocate with the child. You'd need to show the child's relationship with her dad can continue to flourish, even if you were allowed to relocate, and I don't see a lot of that coming through in your post. If you want to leave and dad is doing everything right, even if he didn't always do everything right, the Court might even ask why it shouldn't make orders for the child to remain living with her dad.

I hate to play devil's advocate, but I only do so in the hope that you might adjust your perspective ahead of your next hearing.

 

[Vet]

Fair always an advocate for the truth when needed.
I should have mentioned the 3 breaches in AVO, the countless DV calls to the police and the abuse exposed to the children. I should also point out that on separation I left our family home and let him come and spend time with the children within our home while I left the home to ensure a relationship with their father over 2 months for 4 weekends. He expressed on numerous occasions that he did not want the children and only the family home and car and I could do what I liked this is in writing in text messages.
He will be spending more time with the children with me relocating then what he spends with them now.
He was warned that I wanted to move and I asked one minute it was fine the next there was a " your my wife there my kids your never going anywhere ". Then solicitors made it clear to him about my intentions to move due to career and s**t hit the fan. I have a 2 year old and a 7 year old. Surely the court would not rule that my 2 year old live with a gambling, abusive, drunk ?

 

[Lennon]

The court isn't going to be very interested in your allegations that your ex is an abusive drunk, in circumstances where you have willingly left the children in his care since separation and where you are now proposing that they should spend time alone with him every month and for block time during school holidays.

The court is either going to think that you do not genuinely believe that he will behave in a drunken abusive way around the children, or that you DO believe he will behave that way but that you are prepared to let the kids be around him anyway. Neither of those alternatives reflect well on you.

I don't really see what the gambling has to do with it.

 

[sammy01]

so you notified dad that you were gonna move with the kids. He did no agree? you moved anyways? U'm....

so what sort of time was dad having before you moved? Did you have court consent order prior to the move? what did they say about dad's access.

So let me ask you a question... How would you go if dad took the kids and moved interstate? what about if he asked your permission, you said NOPE but he did it anyways??? Would you apply to court?
So you wrote "We are suppose to communicate about the children" YES. You communicated that you wanted to move. He communicated that he did not agree for you to move away with the kids... You ignored his communication... do you see the problem?

 

[AllForHer]

You "let" him see the kids? At your house instead of in the marital home that you left to him? What unfathomable generosity.

Look, I am a skeptic about nearly every family law case I come across. Allegations of violence are rife, but only a very tiny percentage of allegations are backed by persuasive evidence, nearly everything a parent says can be spun into something different by the other, and we only ever hear one side of the story.

For example.

Parent A asks to spend time with child on days that Parent A isn't working. Parent B refuses and instead only offers days that Parent A is working. Parent A obviously can't accommodate such an arrangement, so Parent A refuses. An argument ensues. Parent A eventually realises it's going nowhere and says "Do what you want, I am over it", and voila! Parent B thinks they have evidence that Parent A "harassed me," "said he didn't want to see the child" and "that I could do whatever I wanted with the child".

But they don't. They have evidence that they've frustrated attempts by Parent A to see the child, and contrary to what you seem to believe, "do whatever you want" does not, in any way, constitute agreement for you to move the kids to another state without his express agreement. Frankly, you're naive for thinking that's the case.

Now, I'm going to speak plainly.

Your post implies you are somehow the victim of some injustice, but the fact is this: you made the decision yourself to relocate the kids unilaterally, and the position you're in now is the consequence of that. You don't seem to think you've done anything wrong, but you have, and I sincerely hope you can see that before your next hearing.

You said that dad had never hurt the kids, and you're complaining about him doing everything right. If that says a lot to me, think about what that's going to say to the Court.