I apologise in advance for the length of my story.
My partner and I have been together for approximately 6 years now and have 2 of our own children. We took on care of his 3 children from his previous marriage at the beginning of this year. My partner and his ex are still not divorced and there are no Custody of Children arrangements in place. The children are between 8-13 years old.
We found out at the start of the year that his ex's eldest child (who is in her care) had been sexually assaulting my partner's 8-year-old and his 13-year-old. We also found out that the children were sexually assaulted by the ex's child's grandfather and the 12-year-old was sexually assaulted by the ex's father, all whilst in her care. All of this was reported to the Police and FACS.
The children gave statements and are now receiving counselling. We were only meant to have the children for the school holidays but when we found out this information we told their mother we weren't sending them home and they were to stay with us.
This is not the first time we have been concerned for the children's welfare in their mother's custody. Approximately 5 years ago, we had the children for our visit and their mother turned up to our home drunk and extremely aggressive and demanding that she take the children. She was arrested but in Court the charges were dropped as it was a first offence. We received an ADVO placed by the NSW Police. And the children were returned to her care.
Then approximately 4 years ago, the ex was hospitalised and detained in a Mental Health Ward after an attempt at committing suicide due to a drug overdose at home whilst in care alone with the children. We obtained care of the children whilst she was in hospital and enroled them into school until she was released and then she harassed us to return her children to her and my partner gave in and sent them home.
Then last year, we received our second ADVO placed by the Police. We invited the ex and children over to our house as we were getting along quite amicably at that point and she proceeded to get extremely drunk, started swearing at the children including telling her 12-year-old that he was a "little c**t" in front of us. My partner and myself asked her to leave, but she refused to leave without the children and accused us of "taking her children away from her", so we called the Police. She then decided to ram down our sliding fly screen door and fell into the lounge room.
The ex has her child in her custody whilst on bail and awaiting sentencing in the Court for the charges which include 20 charges all up. Myself and my partner and his ex all live in a extremely small town and it is quite impossible to leave the house without running into each other.
The children are suffering with PTSD due to the abuse and are having constant nightmares and anxiety attacks. Every time we run into their mother with her child, the children are re-traumatised and spend days recovering, even missing school because they are too scared to leave our care.
My eldest stepchild has had to change High Schools last week to an out of zone school 1 hour away due to extreme bullying at the previous school (which is the only school in our area), where the other children at the school had found out the details of the abuse and were taunting him with it and laughing. Children from the school are threatening to "bash him up" due to him being related to a "paedophile".
My youngest stepchild is asking to change schools now because a few of the kids at school keep talking about the abuser visiting their house, as the ex is good friends with their parents and visits several times a week with her child. My stepchild is being re-traumatised daily by these children's comments.
The Ex will not communicate with us about any of this despite multiple attempts by us. The only time she communicates is to ask when she can see her children next. We were allowing the ex to take the children out alone for the first few months as we wanted to be as amicable as possible, but each occasion, the children would return distressed and reveal that their mother was talking to them about their abuser constantly and even went to the extent of telling them "you should still love them regardless because they are your family."
We decided in the best interests of the children to be present on her visits so that they didn't have to feel uncomfortable. The ex is extremely unhappy with our presence at the visits and continues to tell us she wants unsupervised visits. The children do not want this and my eldest stepchild now is refusing to see or speak to their mother.
The children have been asking us for months if we can move to a different town. My family and my partner's family all live 3 hours away from us and we are struggling without adequate family assistance. We also struggle with obtaining sufficient work where we are due to being such a small town there is not a lot of options. Relocation is an option we are considering but are unsure of our ability to do so.
I would like to know what steps we should be making at this point. We have applied for Legal Aid to commence Parenting Orders but are awaiting response as we do not have a lot of money. We have been to mediation and given a Section 60I Certificate due to the Family Violence.
Does my partner have a high chance of being granted full custody of children in the Family Law Court due to the Family Violence and mental instability of the children's mother and the fact that she is in custody of their abuser which we have an ADVO against?
We would like the visitation with the children's mother to remain supervised. Will this be possible? Does my eldest stepchild have to visit their Mother? If we wanted to move, do we have any options for moving a short distance without applying for Relocation Orders?
The Police Officer I saw recently told me he was sure there is a 100km radius that we can move in without needing a Relocation Order or the mother's consent, is this true?
We have tried asking for consent from the children's mother but she won't communicate and then went to a Solicitor and had a letter sent to us advising us that if we "unilaterally relocate", the children they will apply to the Court for an Injunction to stop us.
We are all at the point of breaking and we just don't know what other option to take as the children's well-being is getting so bad to the point where they are suffering depression and having anxiety attacks so often about having to stay living in this town filled with people judging them and taunting them when they are victims of abuse.
Thank you and any help on what options we have would be greatly appreciated.
My partner and I have been together for approximately 6 years now and have 2 of our own children. We took on care of his 3 children from his previous marriage at the beginning of this year. My partner and his ex are still not divorced and there are no Custody of Children arrangements in place. The children are between 8-13 years old.
We found out at the start of the year that his ex's eldest child (who is in her care) had been sexually assaulting my partner's 8-year-old and his 13-year-old. We also found out that the children were sexually assaulted by the ex's child's grandfather and the 12-year-old was sexually assaulted by the ex's father, all whilst in her care. All of this was reported to the Police and FACS.
The children gave statements and are now receiving counselling. We were only meant to have the children for the school holidays but when we found out this information we told their mother we weren't sending them home and they were to stay with us.
This is not the first time we have been concerned for the children's welfare in their mother's custody. Approximately 5 years ago, we had the children for our visit and their mother turned up to our home drunk and extremely aggressive and demanding that she take the children. She was arrested but in Court the charges were dropped as it was a first offence. We received an ADVO placed by the NSW Police. And the children were returned to her care.
Then approximately 4 years ago, the ex was hospitalised and detained in a Mental Health Ward after an attempt at committing suicide due to a drug overdose at home whilst in care alone with the children. We obtained care of the children whilst she was in hospital and enroled them into school until she was released and then she harassed us to return her children to her and my partner gave in and sent them home.
Then last year, we received our second ADVO placed by the Police. We invited the ex and children over to our house as we were getting along quite amicably at that point and she proceeded to get extremely drunk, started swearing at the children including telling her 12-year-old that he was a "little c**t" in front of us. My partner and myself asked her to leave, but she refused to leave without the children and accused us of "taking her children away from her", so we called the Police. She then decided to ram down our sliding fly screen door and fell into the lounge room.
The ex has her child in her custody whilst on bail and awaiting sentencing in the Court for the charges which include 20 charges all up. Myself and my partner and his ex all live in a extremely small town and it is quite impossible to leave the house without running into each other.
The children are suffering with PTSD due to the abuse and are having constant nightmares and anxiety attacks. Every time we run into their mother with her child, the children are re-traumatised and spend days recovering, even missing school because they are too scared to leave our care.
My eldest stepchild has had to change High Schools last week to an out of zone school 1 hour away due to extreme bullying at the previous school (which is the only school in our area), where the other children at the school had found out the details of the abuse and were taunting him with it and laughing. Children from the school are threatening to "bash him up" due to him being related to a "paedophile".
My youngest stepchild is asking to change schools now because a few of the kids at school keep talking about the abuser visiting their house, as the ex is good friends with their parents and visits several times a week with her child. My stepchild is being re-traumatised daily by these children's comments.
The Ex will not communicate with us about any of this despite multiple attempts by us. The only time she communicates is to ask when she can see her children next. We were allowing the ex to take the children out alone for the first few months as we wanted to be as amicable as possible, but each occasion, the children would return distressed and reveal that their mother was talking to them about their abuser constantly and even went to the extent of telling them "you should still love them regardless because they are your family."
We decided in the best interests of the children to be present on her visits so that they didn't have to feel uncomfortable. The ex is extremely unhappy with our presence at the visits and continues to tell us she wants unsupervised visits. The children do not want this and my eldest stepchild now is refusing to see or speak to their mother.
The children have been asking us for months if we can move to a different town. My family and my partner's family all live 3 hours away from us and we are struggling without adequate family assistance. We also struggle with obtaining sufficient work where we are due to being such a small town there is not a lot of options. Relocation is an option we are considering but are unsure of our ability to do so.
I would like to know what steps we should be making at this point. We have applied for Legal Aid to commence Parenting Orders but are awaiting response as we do not have a lot of money. We have been to mediation and given a Section 60I Certificate due to the Family Violence.
Does my partner have a high chance of being granted full custody of children in the Family Law Court due to the Family Violence and mental instability of the children's mother and the fact that she is in custody of their abuser which we have an ADVO against?
We would like the visitation with the children's mother to remain supervised. Will this be possible? Does my eldest stepchild have to visit their Mother? If we wanted to move, do we have any options for moving a short distance without applying for Relocation Orders?
The Police Officer I saw recently told me he was sure there is a 100km radius that we can move in without needing a Relocation Order or the mother's consent, is this true?
We have tried asking for consent from the children's mother but she won't communicate and then went to a Solicitor and had a letter sent to us advising us that if we "unilaterally relocate", the children they will apply to the Court for an Injunction to stop us.
We are all at the point of breaking and we just don't know what other option to take as the children's well-being is getting so bad to the point where they are suffering depression and having anxiety attacks so often about having to stay living in this town filled with people judging them and taunting them when they are victims of abuse.
Thank you and any help on what options we have would be greatly appreciated.