No legal advice from me today... Just some advice and one or two casual observations. Just to help you understand where my perspective comes from - I'm a male, my 3 kids live with me 80% of the time
Pick your battles.... The fewer battles you have the fewer you will lose...
So what if mum records? well then she does... What if she shows the kid? then she does and she is a s**t parent for doing so... Are you going to record stuff to show the child just to 'prove' something to a child? Be a parent, be a good parent, by the sounds of things there is already one s**t parent here and that means you're gonna have to work all the harder at being a good parent. You don't want to be recorded? U'm so because she is recording, means you want to also... Don't mean to sound like my mum - but if she jumped off the harbor bridge would you? You think it is wrong for her to record you? then it is wrong for you to record her...
So if she refuses to travel for mediation, magistrate will likely be upset, they are used to having their instructions followed... You can make it a point of debate, you could even be dumb and refuse to participate in phone mediation, but that will only slow the process along...
When you get to mediation ask the question... Are you recording this? if you are please stop...State that you don't give consent to be recorded... But if she keeps recording then she keeps recording - NOTHING you can do about it... PICK YOUR BATTLES. So maybe it isn't even worth mentioning...
(so just a little bit of advice about mediation) You want it to succeed... So my concern... You ask if she is recording the meeting... She says NO. She No doubt will then spend 30 minutes lecturing you about how dare you accuse her... BLAH BLAH... She will possibly be recording it and will have a good old chuckle to herself on the way home in the car as she listens to it... BUT 30 minutes of mediation will be wasted. Instead of talking about your kid and when you're gonna see the kid, you'll have spent all the time arguing about s**t that is getting you NO CLOSER TO SEEING YOUR KID.
Mate just recently I deleted the lot... 5 years of text messages, emails, correspondence from solicitor's, child support payments (and some audio files of her yelling at me). Everything except the court orders...WHY? well I thought I'd show it all to the kids one day, when they are older to 'prove' something... Yup I thought I could prove that there mum is the problem and I'm a good guy... But it is all gone, I deliberately deleted it all... I'll leave you to work out why...
So IF mum records things / says things etc to make your kid think you're the devil there is stuff all you can do about it... It is very sad but it is the truth... But the person mum is hurting most when she does that is HERSELF... YEP HERSELF... See eventually daughter will grow a bit, and see for herself and she will lose respect for her mum because of it all... Mate, my older two kids remember the arguments when we still lived together, they remember the screaming, they remember me leaving and they remember not seeing me for a while, they also remember the change overs where mum was yelling at me and I was not yelling back, they remember mum telling them s**t about me.... My oldest daughter is now 11... Mum told her recently that daughter will be 12 soon and as soon as she turns 12 she can go and live with mum... FFS The child told me that she doesn't want to deal with mum and she doesn't want to feel pressured to go live with her.... WHY? well my kids have worked it out... Do the right thing and your kid will work it out too...
Final piece of non-legal advice.. Let's pretend ex is recording... GOOD. So when you are doing mediation, you can pretend that you're daughter is listening. GREAT. Mate, I have been in your world, I didn't see the kids for months, I was accused of DV etc etc... So I know... My advice, what you do when your kid is not watching, is as important as what you do when they are... You can't tell your kid to pick up their own stuff BUT when you are on your own, you throw s**t out the window of your car... Be a good parent even when your kid is not with you... So lets say she does record the mediation... she wont show your daughter if the recording has daddy saying things like "I really love XXXX I want to be a good dad and I want to work with mum to get an agreement about when daughter can spend time with dad" Let the ex listen to that over and over... Let her be a s**t parent.... Doesn't mean you're gonna do the same
rant over