VIC Property settlement and primary carer considerations with abusive husband. DHHS/ family violence intervention order

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JayBrown

Active Member
5 April 2021
8
1
33
I have a Family Violence Intervention Order against me at present, which means I can’t see my children, who are living with their father, from whom I am separated ( not divorced as it hasn’t been twelve months).

In regards to property settlement, what is the likelihood of the court giving my husband a greater share of the assets because he is the primary career as a result of the FVIO? I have a court hearing in July about the FVIO. Prior to the FVIO, my husband worked full time and I worked part time in order to mind the children.

Also, the title deed to the house my husband, children and I all lived in together before the FVIO is in my name as it was my house long before I met my husband. My husband has now put a caveat on the house. I received the paperwork in the mail today to confirm.

Some additional information about my situation:

My husband is a gambling addict. He had a 30k debt when we met which my family helpfully assisted him to pay off.

He told me he had an AVO against him from a previous girlfriend.

A few months ago, my mother got a phone call from an anonymous woman who said she had got herself into strife with my husband during the eight weeks she had known him. She was trying to contact me but mother didn’t give her my contact details.

My husband was having an affair with an ex-girlfriend prior to him applying for the intervention order against me. I saw him masturbating while he was communicating online with her.

An associate of my mother’s reported to her that my husband was engaging with her on a dating website and that he’d been on the website for some time.

My husband controlled me coercively including financially and also by my access to cannabis. He grew cannabis to supply me if I met his demands for sex and other things. Then he started dealing to others and got involved with selling to criminal gangs.

He involved me in partaking with insurance fraud.

He has sent explicit text messages to my mother saying if she doesn’t facilitate a favourable financial settlement, he will ensure a full intervention order is placed on me.

And now, that is what has happened. How is it that he’s winning when he’s the perpretator?

The DHHS ignored what I and my family said to them about my husband. They witnessed him being aggressive towards me and heard my families reports about him.

I know my husband has set this whole thing up to punish me for daring to go outside of his control. He’s just recently pursued me in his car, driving very close behind my car. I was scared, fearing he would drive me off the road so I took a path to the local police station. When I arrived at the police station, the police said if I made a report he would need to be charged. I was scared and full of adrenalin and not really thinking, so I chose not to make a report.

Thanks in advance for any advice how these wrongs can be righted.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
4,758
689
2,894
I have deleted everything that is not relevant. Might seem brutal, but I'm economising. Some stuff you can stress about some stuff you can stress about, but it won't get you anywhere.
I have a Family Violence Intervention Order against me at present, which means I can’t see my children, who are living with their father, from whom I am separated ( not divorced as it hasn’t been twelve months).

RESPONSE - Have you organised mediation? if not. Hurry up. Contacted legal aid? if not hurry up. Contacted Women's legal service? if not hurry up.

In regards to property settlement, what is the likelihood of the court giving my husband a greater share of the assets because he is the primary career as a result of the FVIO? I have a court hearing in July about the FVIO. Prior to the FVIO, my husband worked full time and I worked part time in order to mind the children.
RESPONSE - get into court fast. Right now the recent history is YOU as primary carer. So do everything I mentioned above. HURRY UP.

Also, the title deed to the house my husband, children and I all lived in together before the FVIO is in my name as it was my house long before I met my husband. My husband has now put a caveat on the house. I received the paperwork in the mail today to confirm.
RESPONSE - ok so hubby will be entitled to some share of the house. How much? Well I can only make a guess. But you want the kids sorted first. I'm guessing you want to be primary carer and live in the house? well then HURRY up in getting to court.

Some additional information about my situation:

My husband controlled me coercively including financially and also by my access to cannabis. He grew cannabis to supply me if I met his demands for sex and other things. Then he started dealing to others and got involved with selling to criminal gangs.
RESPONSE - stop smoking pot.

He involved me in partaking with insurance fraud.
Response - best not to mention this.

He has sent explicit text messages to my mother saying if she doesn’t facilitate a favourable financial settlement, he will ensure a full intervention order is placed on me.
Response - show that to your solicitor.

And now, that is what has happened. How is it that he’s winning when he’s the perpretator?
RESPONSW -Right now he is winning. BUT family law is a long game. Get off the pot, get into court.



I know my husband has set this whole thing up to punish me for daring to go outside of his control. He’s just recently pursued me in his car, driving very close behind my car. I was scared, fearing he would drive me off the road so I took a path to the local police station. When I arrived at the police station, the police said if I made a report he would need to be charged. I was scared and full of adrenalin and not really thinking, so I chose not to make a report.

NEXT TIME make the report.

Thanks in advance for any advice how these wrongs can be righted.
 

JayBrown

Active Member
5 April 2021
8
1
33
Hi Sammy, thanks for responding. I appreciate your advice. i‘m hoping you might give me some more advice about how I can delete my posts or even edit them. I can’t see anywhere how to do either of those things.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
4,758
689
2,894
you can't. You can click the report button and ask the moderators to delete.