NSW Parenting Plan - Avoiding 50-50 Custody of Children with Ex?

[Jean02]

Hi there, new to the forum but currently seeking help.

My ex after 5 years has decided to want to have 50/50 custody of children of my son who is now 12-years-old. We have a parenting plan that is signed by him and myself showing that he has had 15% custody of my son since our break up which was back in 2010. I don't want 50/50 and just wanting to know what I can possibly do to avoid this?

 

[sammy01]

I'd encourage you to try to ascertain what the kid wants. At 12 years of age, what he wants will be considered by the court and in another year or two courts will give his opinion even more weight. So if the kid has expressed a wish one way or the other then I'd use that as guidance about what to do.

If you're dead against it then just say no. The problem with that is that if the kid wants it, you're the bad guy and you're then fostering an environment where he could resent you and just vote with his feet. Now given you have a parenting plan and not court orders mean that you don't have a legal leg to stand on. So you could try this line - he can have 50/50 only if he gets court orders.

Now if your ex posted on this website, my recommendation to him would be to reply with simply taking the kid and advising mum that if she has a problem she can apply to court. Just gets messy, doesn't it?

My thoughts - give it a try for a few months and do everything you can to make it work because 50/50 access can work and if you resist extra time you're risking winding up with zero care if the kid votes with his feet. Or offer dad an incremental increase. Let's start with 4 or 5 nights a fortnight and work up from there to 6 nights and then maybe 50/50...

 

[AllForHer]

Why don't you want to facilitate 50/50? What's your argument as to why it's not in the best interests of the child?