Parental orders and ter

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JoSam

Active Member
30 March 2020
11
0
36
Hi,
I was after some advice on final consent orders that I want to propose that are reasonable given our circumstances. I’m the respondent. OP didn’t see child for 3 years and applied for court orders without any communication of wanting to see our child.

History -
My ex was diagnosed with a terminal illness 5 months after applying for orders and was given 6 -12 months to live but with treatment could be longer. A letter from their medical specialist 5 months ago states they can ‘assist in the care’ of our 8 year old child.

Current interim orders are:
- every fortnight sleepovers (Sat 10 am to Sun 10am) to happen at the OP parents house (I.e. grandparents)
- weekly phone calls
- care responsibility to be determined at final court hearing (in 4 months)
- Family child inclusive report to be done (in 2 months)

OP moved 4 hours away during interim court hearings (from 15 mins away) and has no friends or family in the area. The grandparents moved the other direction 2 hours away recently, who told me in a phone conversation, they don’t want regular sleepovers to happen at their new house. No formal notification has been given although I’ve been asking for new addresses and updates.

Day visits of 4 hours average instead of sleepovers have been regular but not phone calls as OP forgets. I’m only told of any arrangements by 10-12 hours before visit.

OP refuses to go through lawyers now as apparently OP sacked lawyer but no formal notification given. OP also refusing mediation and can be dismissive of other suggestions.

Affidavit by OP parents states OP is not accepting of prognosis. Illness/treatment has impaired hearing, voice, memory and other physical capabilities however OP can currently drive the 4 hours to see our child which I really appreciate. OP refusing to give an update on prognosis so I can’t make any informed decisions.

I want it to stay out of court and finalise matters while giving my my child the opportunity to know the OP while they can.

Any suggestions?

Thanks for taking the time to read my post
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
4,854
690
2,894
ok, I'm not exactly sure what you're asking.
OP doesn't need to tell you about their prognosis and you have no right to ask.

OP forgets phone calls? Crazy idea... Why not be pro-active here and you call. Hell call twice a week even if the orders only say once a week.

Look in ordinary circumstances I'd be saying it is bloody rude for the op to want sleep overs, but then NOT and only give you 10-12 hours notice of visits... But, well, this person is dying. I can only think with treatments etc maybe it is hard to keep to a schedule.
Like i said, not really sure what you're asking...
I'd suggest offering consent orders
How well do you communicate with the ex?
 

JoSam

Active Member
30 March 2020
11
0
36
Thanks for your comments.

Sammy, I’m asking what would be reasonable consent orders given sleepovers aren’t happening, distant and illness?

Regarding phone calls, I do text and ring but most times no response or at midnight when child is in bed. I also offer alternative times and suggestions as I do with sleepovers. I text asking to confirm arrangements as they change every fortnight. OP isn’t a planner and does things at hoc, always has been like that.

Communication with my ex is hard work, unpredictable and lacks clarity but I keep things child focused.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
4,854
690
2,894
consent orders - That in the event that mum (I'm assuming?) is given 48 hours notice, she facilitates access. However, she has 3 times a year when she can decline due to other commitments. Sound reasonable?