Seeking some advice here. I have a 9yo daughter to an ex-Partner. The relationship was problematic. Partner had a chronic gambling problem I learnt about later, was manipulative and abusive. I also learnt later that she was still legally married while seeking to be in a formal relationship with myself (including having a child to me). This occurred overseas, the disruption so severe it caused me to lose my job and leave the country. I have tried to maintain contact with my daughter (and her sister who I also support) despite this over the years and have routinely sent a reasonable sum of money each week and supported other requests (school fees, rent bonds etc).
While thinking things are improving after 8 years, she has recently come into Australia (on a tourist visa) seeking to settle here. The plan around this was not transparent and I expressed my concerns (risks of working illegally, applying for visas without full information, cost of living and housing in Australia). I believe she left unpaid debts or other issues behind.
This hasn't gone well, and now with her in Australia, the tension has escalated. I am assuming she entered Australia with a tourist visa, and now nearing 3 months need to make decisions about how to manage this.
- Regular demands for more money. Expects me to pay rent for her and the 2 girls.
- Claiming that the proceeds of my own house I sold recently should be shared with her.
- Threatening emails and IM's citing that I have neglected the children. The fact is I have always wanted to support my daughter (and her sister) but their Mothers threatening and extortive behaviour makes it hard.
Questions and call for advice:
- Should I seek a restraining order and cut off contact? It is incredibly distressing for me and brings back memories of the trauma faced living with her and separating.
- Do the spurious claims for my property now 8 years later carry any weight?
- I have asked for a child support assessment from Centerlink. She is likely to react badly to this, but I think that is the right thing to do. Note that she is not an Aust resident/citizen and NOT from a reciprocating jurisdiction, but I would intend to pay the prescribed amount going forward. Any thoughts on this approach?
Any advice welcome. Should I see a lawyer and get help or am I simply stressed and over-worried because of the previous traumatic circumstances and the sadness around the prospects of being part of my daughters' life slipping further away?
While thinking things are improving after 8 years, she has recently come into Australia (on a tourist visa) seeking to settle here. The plan around this was not transparent and I expressed my concerns (risks of working illegally, applying for visas without full information, cost of living and housing in Australia). I believe she left unpaid debts or other issues behind.
This hasn't gone well, and now with her in Australia, the tension has escalated. I am assuming she entered Australia with a tourist visa, and now nearing 3 months need to make decisions about how to manage this.
- Regular demands for more money. Expects me to pay rent for her and the 2 girls.
- Claiming that the proceeds of my own house I sold recently should be shared with her.
- Threatening emails and IM's citing that I have neglected the children. The fact is I have always wanted to support my daughter (and her sister) but their Mothers threatening and extortive behaviour makes it hard.
Questions and call for advice:
- Should I seek a restraining order and cut off contact? It is incredibly distressing for me and brings back memories of the trauma faced living with her and separating.
- Do the spurious claims for my property now 8 years later carry any weight?
- I have asked for a child support assessment from Centerlink. She is likely to react badly to this, but I think that is the right thing to do. Note that she is not an Aust resident/citizen and NOT from a reciprocating jurisdiction, but I would intend to pay the prescribed amount going forward. Any thoughts on this approach?
Any advice welcome. Should I see a lawyer and get help or am I simply stressed and over-worried because of the previous traumatic circumstances and the sadness around the prospects of being part of my daughters' life slipping further away?
