QLD Is it possible to do settlement without the other partry?

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John Z

Well-Known Member
17 June 2020
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HI, I have just learnt that my ex wife has been fishing and is telling people she can't find me and that even my family hasn't seen me for 2 years. Is it possible she could do settlement with out me?
Im not hidding but staying low key as her friends are a considerable risk and I'm not interested in the drama. What the hell can i do about this...
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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keep hiding. Seriously.... No she cant do property settlement without you. So if you're not ready to deal with then keep hinding. BTW why not give us a run down of your assets and you might get some advice. In many cases, especially if the relationship didn't produce kids and was less than 6-7 yrs in duration, it might not bet worth the bother.

To do settlement with one party in absentia, the other party would need to show they've made real attempts to find the other party.
 

John Z

Well-Known Member
17 June 2020
18
0
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Hi, assets is a house, a mortgage and my property that she is selling while saying she isnt. I gave up on all my belongings, I just want the house sold and mortgage paid off. Married for a lot more that 7 years.
At the moment I see her planting the seed information. She knows how to find me if she really wanted to but she is only saying that she cant find me to assist her in proceeding with out me.
If I had a new iPhone for her she would find me. But its in her interest not to find me or at least appear she cant.
I want the mortgage paid off, the only way to do that is to sell the house, seems simple but its not. I have no means to buy her out and honestly dont want to live in the neighbourhood again, she has done her best to poison the suburb against me. She doesnt have any means to buy me out either as she had to stop working to look after 2 school age kids. Already tried to have her co list the house but was only met with the good old seeking legal advice, shes still seeking it after over 2 years.
I basically gave up after a huge fight with my then legal person as they where clearly more interested in her and what she could afford. My interests where not even considered. I changed my will leaving everything i own to a charity. They will pursue her to get there share, so in death I can at least get her out of the house. only option I see.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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who is paying the mortgage?
Do you want to spend time with the kids?
 

John Z

Well-Known Member
17 June 2020
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Well after educating the bank about how nasty i am the bank completely over reacted and froze every account with the bank, I know they can limit me from joint accounts but not my own accounts. I know enough to have been able to argue that point and had a massive argument with them which ended after I said I would call the police as I considered it theft. Since then they contact me when the account over draws and I remind them that they told me I couldn't transfer fund in to the account, so I will not. I politely tell the manager to go and jump.
So the ex had the mortgage put to interest only payment. Most banks extend this courtesy to customers for 6 months maximum. This bank has let this go on for almost 3 years now. This is extremely unusual and commercially negligent in my opinion.
As for the kids, I simply do not trust my ex enough to even try to see them, simply not worth the drama and potential expense that could be incurred once she makes up her stories and bull s**t. Have not seen them for 3 years, I was able to contact the ex via an email address and only regarding the kids, after 6 emails I gave up as there was nothing saying she had to reply and she did not even acknowledge the email.
Funny thing as she was telling someone that I haven't been seen for 2 years, they pointed out that only 12 months ago she had told them I was following her around the suburb. A little hard when I was in Tweed Heads at the time. Her response was to call them a liar and tell them they were wrong.
 

John Z

Well-Known Member
17 June 2020
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I have no idea either, It seems to be another case that she can do what the hell she wants and because its based on family law or the old favorite of Domestic Violence SHE can.
I was asking if its possible for her to do this by claiming I can't be located. In my thrown out of my life Protection order I have had to stay away and have no contact or ask anyone to contact her, I have complied and now she says I've disappeared.
She has already started telling people I haven't been seen for 2 years, shes laying her ground work out so she can say she cant find me. I guess as its to do with property settlement Legal Aid would have told her they cant help as they could find me and had been talking to my solicitor but I no longer have anything to do with them and my guess would be they wouldn't help anyway as they were more interested in helping her. How easy is it going to be for her to convince a solicitor that she cant find me. I can already see her doing the big crying and scared victim game just changing it from my husbands a monster to now I cant find him and need to own this house on my own.
It comes down to what constitues proof that she has tried to locate me.
Seems to be that in these matters and my dealing with this bulls**t that no proof has ever been required of anything. Its all come down to she tells her story and because of the acting involved everyone says poor you, he sounds like a real c**t.
I cant afford to fight it.
 

Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
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Well, If you manage to disappear well enough so that the court is satisfied you either can't be located, or don't want to be, they can ultimately make orders, ( likley granting whatever it is she is seeking) .... If it ever got to that point, I don't know if just showing up out of the woodwork suddenly is going to reverse it, certainly not without you then needing to apply to court yourself anyway, which I'm guessing you don't want to do.

If she wants to make an application for settlement, isn't that exactly what you need to get your name off the mortgage... If she can't buy out your share, the court will order the house be sold & you may even finish up with a few bucks ... If getting her out of the house is your main game (don't agree but your business) that would do it .

Is there some other reason you are sh*t scared of court? unpaid child support or something? Just struggling to get where you're are coming from
 

John Z

Well-Known Member
17 June 2020
18
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sorry but i worked my arse off to get a house and I dont think its fair that some c**t can take it for her and her new boyfriend. Shes moved on and Im stuck with this f***ing chain around my neck.
It doesnt really matter in the end, Ill put a rope around my neck and end it all. There is no such thing as justice, its who tells the biggest bulls**t story first. # years and shes still going on about s**t i never did and never said. I still get harrased by people unknown to me. I spent almost $10k on a lawyer that was so f***ing useless all should did was make sure i had money in trust. Sends a letter regarding listing property giving my ex 14 to reply. 3 months later I chase it up, I get oh sorry shes seeking legal advice.. Then i askwhat happens if she doesnt reply, I get told you go to circuit court and get a court order for $25,000. So my ex is just able to keep saying shes seeking advice, which she has done at almost every legal place known to google.
Im being robbed blind by a corrupt domestic violence system and a just as corrupt bunch of family lawyers. I saved the deposit, i paid off her credit cards, I got her out of debt. I found a house and we purchased it, now she decides she wants someone else, fine take the kids and f**k off. Sell the house and leave me alone.
Why does noone involved in this tell these f***ing gold diggers that it has to end, you cant just keep dragging it out.
 

John Z

Well-Known Member
17 June 2020
18
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The point I think thats missed is im not hidding, she knows my phone number and my po box but she is telling people she cant find me, Im trying to work out if she can just walk in and say I cant find him and the system bows to her wants or does she actually have to show something that says she has tried.
I know what she will try, she will turn the water works on and go on about how she took all these measures to stop me from going anyhwere near her and the kids or talking to her and the kids or asking people to talk to her or the kids. Ive then complied with all 14 conditions on my order and stayed away like a good boy, she dragged everything on for 3 friggin years and now she cant find me. I dont see how this would work but Im constantly surprised by the s**t that slides because its hidden in domestic violence, I hate that term, the dictionary lists violence as a physical thing not paying bills from a joint account.