Australia's #1 for Law
Join 150,000 Australians every month. Ask a question, respond to a question and better understand the law today!
FREE - Join Now

Ann Galloway

Member
18 April 2017
4
0
1
Hello,

I was in a de facto relationship for 4 years with my ex-partner during the course of the relationship we had two children. We lived in Qld, we wrote an agreement signed by a JP to allow me to move interstate after separation to WA to stay with my parents.

I ended the relationship as he was neglecting the kids, mentally abusing me and there were times where he would damage property in fits of rage. He bit our son and would discipline our daughter by smacking her in the back of the head, until I became aware of him doing it and made him stop. He had a drug addiction and mental health issues.

He was also allowing his brother, who had committed a child sex offence when he was a teenager, to see kids while I was at work against my consent. I believed it to be in the best interest of the children to remove them from this environment.

They are now happy and thriving, but I wish to make this legal and a permanent living arrangement. The kids have FaceTime contact with their father once a week. I have kept it civil with him as he says he wants to change to be apart of our lives. But after I reminded him just forgot the kids' birthdays.

It has been 6 months. He is not adhering to the agreement stipulations, as to attending counselling, etc

My question is, what do I have to do to obtain custody of children?

I only have the mutual agreement on which he admitted to neglecting the kids and putting me though mental abuse and I have an exemption from child support so I receive no maintenance from him.

Sorry for lengthy post.

Thank you.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,152
720
2,894
My suggestion would be do nothing. The longer the kids live with you and that becomes the established status quo, the better for your case. Did the agreement have anything about you returning to the original location?
 

Ann Galloway

Member
18 April 2017
4
0
1
Thank you for your reply.

I understand that and that was my original thought. To wait and do nothing and let time go by and become evidence.
But I am worried that members of his family are going to start pushing for us to come back.

I specifically included that we didn't have to relocate back as part of the agreement. But some of his family is very high up in Human Services and originally only allowed me to leave the state for 6 weeks before my ex and I agreed to an unlimited relocation.

I just don't want to wait and do nothing for him to take it to court and then I am on the defensive.

After everything he did to me it is excruciating to have to stay in with him. But I do as he is their father and they are only kids so they have no idea of what has happened. I wish it to stay that way. They shouldn't have to worry about being fed, or be yelled at. Or made to fear or feel unsafe.

I no longer believe having a relationship with the father to be in the best interests of our children. I gave him every single chance to be a father, only for our children and myself to suffer. I am not writing this out of hate or anger, I'm only concerned about the future safety of our children and the negative impact and influence he brings into their lives.

I'm not entirely sure waiting and doing nothing is the right thing. But now we are here I can do it for a little longer.

Thank you again for your reply.
 

Rod

Lawyer
LawConnect (LawTap) Verified
27 May 2014
7,726
1,056
2,894
www.hutchinsonlegal.com.au
I just don't want to wait and do nothing for him to take it to court and then I am on the defensive.

This thinking is wrong. If he initiates court action, he pays fees and you get an opportunity to respond.

The longer you leave it as suggested above, the better for you.
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
3,664
684
2,894
Taking this to Court is extremely risky.

First, getting a no contact order, or even sole parental responsibility, is very, very difficult. It's not a common outcome, especially if your only complaints, really, are that he's a bad influence.

Second, dad's not going to respond seeking FaceTime once a week. He's going to seek time with the kids - one or two weekends a term and half school holidays. And he will probably get it. That outcome is far more common than the one you're seeking.

Third, frankly, you'd be stirring a hornet's nest when what you have right now is pretty good for you. Don't poke the bear and risk ending up with a very undesirable outcome.
 

Ann Galloway

Member
18 April 2017
4
0
1
Thank you for your response.

It has given me a few things to consider in my decision. Again I'm only trying to do what is best for the kids.

Thanks again.
 

MartyK

Well-Known Member
4 June 2016
419
61
794
You said his family only originally allowed you to visit WA for 6 weeks. I assume you are now living permanently in WA per the agreement? If so, if it ever did go to Court, given the relocation was agreed, the likelihood of you being forced to move back to QLD from WA is quite slim. The children would likely be settled by now.

Further, any orders would need to reflect the considerable distance between QLD and WA. The parents ability to afford travel for the children to spend time with a parent would also need to be factored in. The fact that you are not in receipt of any child support either, would likely weigh heavily in your favour, in terms of your own financial position and inability to contribute to travel expenses.

I suspect that if as you say some of his family are "high up in Human Services" then with the circumstances you describe of the father, if accurate, then his family would know better than to 'push' for anything. If there were any genuine concerns about your own care of the children, then an investigation would have likely already been activated prior to you leaving. I wouldn't be too concerned if this has not happened as yet.

As others have mentioned, in your particular circumstances, it would be easier for you just to leave things as they are and just let him take you to Court if he so chooses.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ann Galloway

Ann Galloway

Member
18 April 2017
4
0
1
I have decided to listen to opinions and leave it. I'll respond only if/when he decides to take court action.

Thank you very much to all that responded. Sound suggestions.