NSW Girlfriend Gets No Child Support - Any Recourse?

[2012s4]

Long story short, I've been dating a single mother of 3 kids for a year and a half now. She is a wonderful woman in a bad situation. Due to the fact that she has little to no help with her kids, she is currently unemployed and living off government benefits, although she is pursuing certifications in personal training.

Here's the family law problem: We want to move in together now. However, due to my salary of 85k, this means her payments are gonna get cut drastically. I don't know what they will be, but obviously, it will be much less than what she is getting right now. If that's not bad enough, her ex pays no child support and avoids doing so by working under the books.

He owes 50k but we've been told there is pretty much nothing we can do to get this money. She is receiving additional money because she is receiving no child support from him, but this money is all gonna be cut down to next to nothing if we move in together.

I have no issue with helping out in supporting her kids to some extent, but it seems absolutely ridiculous that due to her ex being a scumbag, I am being screwed over. I don't know if there's any action that can be taken, but this situation is incredibly unfair.

The system is really letting us down as I will be the one pretty much solely responsible for supporting the kids until she can go back to work and provide whatever little bit she can make working part time. On top of this, her ex has the nerve to actually try to regain partial custody of the kids as well (right now she has full custody of children).

 

[Lance]

Hi, I'm not sure what you can do in this situation. You could try to prove that he is working and report it to the Department of Human Services so they can recover money, they do encourage you to report fraud. Overdue child support payments - Australian Government Department of Human Services

The other issue you have is that if he is successful in being granted custody, even if they did recover money from him that would reduce depending how much time he gets with the kids and your partners money could decrease. Fortunately only one parent can be a primary care giver and be eligible for the parenting payment.

 

[knox]

Report her ex and perhaps his employer to the ATO. That money needs to be on the books.

 

[sammy01]

Waste of time reporting them, but I see warning lights here. You're only seeing one side to the story - sorry mate, any unemployed woman with 3 kids - no work prospects? No real work history? No real qualifications?

Oh and why shouldn't the dad re-claim partial custody? They are his kids - can't help but think you've fallen for her story. My opinion - run, then when you get tired, run some more...

Or at very least remain living separately.

Yep, you'll have to pay for her kids, but it gets worse. Give it a few years and all of a sudden, it isn't just her kids, it will be half of your belongings, superannuation, etc etc. And when I say half, it might be more than half, especially if you have a kid with her.

Story time - after working for 20 years - the last 7 of it was spent living with someone - we got married, had kids. After 7 years, she kicked me out and got 65% of all my stuff, including super - not just the bit that was accumulated during the relationship; it was a chunk based on my 20-year working life...

Part of the reason? She had a greater need because she had no earning capacity as she'd basically never had a job.

 

[SamanthaJay]

Honestly, I don't know why the gov't keeps funding personal training certification. I know so many 'personal trainers' and I'd say one of them earns enough to make a living. And she's a former body builder with more experience than all of the teachers that ran her course put together. If she works out of a gym, she will have to pay the gym a cut of what she is earning.

In this case, I suggest you stay living separately. She probably gets rent assistance as well. You can still have a nice relationship without living together. Have her and the kids come over on the weekend and enjoy your time together.

I'm telling you, real life with financial burdens will soon put an end to the relationship otherwise.

 

[David strutton]

Long story short, I've been dating a single mother of 3 kids for a year and a half now. She is a wonderful woman in a bad situation. Due to the fact that she has little to no help with her kids, she is currently unemployed and living off government benefits, although she is pursuing certifications in personal training.

Here's the family law problem: We want to move in together now. However, due to my salary of 85k, this means her payments are gonna get cut drastically. I don't know what they will be, but obviously, it will be much less than what she is getting right now. If that's not bad enough, her ex pays no child support and avoids doing so by working under the books.

He owes 50k but we've been told there is pretty much nothing we can do to get this money. She is receiving additional money because she is receiving no child support from him, but this money is all gonna be cut down to next to nothing if we move in together.

I have no issue with helping out in supporting her kids to some extent, but it seems absolutely ridiculous that due to her ex being a scumbag, I am being screwed over. I don't know if there's any action that can be taken, but this situation is incredibly unfair.

The system is really letting us down as I will be the one pretty much solely responsible for supporting the kids until she can go back to work and provide whatever little bit she can make working part time. On top of this, her ex has the nerve to actually try to regain partial custody of the kids as well (right now she has full custody of children).

Look there is not a lot you can do except make his life miserable. Report him to the tax man for illegal income and his employer for paying under the table. And keep doing it.

Don't go partnered with Centrelink, it's a risk yes, but it's do able. Don't allow him to see the kids at all and if they're old enough explain to the kids what he is doing.